Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

College

COLLEGE

Expectations, Alternatives, and the Many Roads to Success

College isn’t the only path—it’s one of many. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how postsecondary decisions are shaped by pressure, personality, and possibility, and why success can take many forms.

In your Senior year of High School, the repeat conversation is about going to college. Your relatives want to know if you are planning to go to college, where you want to go and what you want to study. The pressure is on to figure out your future. Hey, you are in high school! What is the rush? I am just a teenager, and the prom is months away. Lighten up. Or the scenario could be that you have been planning this since elementary school and cannot wait to get those applications in (implying that you are ready to get out of here).

Then there are your friends, who, for whatever reason, are not thinking of college, cannot afford college, have no goals in mind, and want to avoid the conversation altogether. Some will drop out and go the GED route later. Some will get a job after school, leading to full-time work when they graduate. Some will follow a parent or relative into a trade and build a career path before graduation. Some will shrink in fear and confusion until someone grabs a hold of them to set them on a better path.

Regardless of your group, college is a factor in everyone’s life. The dividing line for the future seems to be planted here. We have the idea that college is the ticket to a better life. In many ways, this is true. Look at your friends. Your best girlfriend in high school became a dentist. Your friend on the soccer team is a high school counselor. The fringe friend is an author and does speaking gigs about dating relationships. But your friend from the camp went into the family construction business and is now running the place. And your friend from music camp is making records and never spent a day in class.

Your parents will not want to hear this, but some of the most successful entrepreneurs do not have college degrees:
Mark Zuckerberg
Steve Jobs
Richard Branson
Bill Gates
Michael Dell
Larry Ellison
Walt Disney
Henry Ford

I am not advocating that everyone leave school. I have a college degree and use it every day. I am just saying that looking at the person and their capability may be more important than looking at the expectation that a college degree is necessary for success. The facts do not always support that.

Want to explore how college readiness and success are shaped by academic and nonacademic factors? Visit The U.S. Department of Education’s predictors of postsecondary success, Inside Higher Ed’s six factors shaping student success, and AACRAO’s student-defined success framework.

If you’re reflecting on education, career paths, or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, confidence, and purpose.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

summer friends, two boys discovering the power of playing games and speaking while a parent watches patiently, symbolizing raising Boys’ Emotional Development, of boys cry, and emotional disconnection in Maryland and DC.

The Power of Play – Bring Back Board Games!

The Power of Play and Why Families in Maryland and DC Play Board Games Remember board games? The ones gathering dust on a shelf or tucked away in a closet? Or maybe you’re one of the rare adults who still loves a good game night and keeps one spread out
Read My Post
An emotional parent, waiting and filled with regret about failure, sitting quietly on a park bench displaying empathy and courage, waiting for a package after a sorting delay, symbolizing resistance, emotional distance, self‑discovery, and the potential for reconnection in Maryland and DC.

Men, Emotion & Identity | Understanding Emotional Health

Why Emotional Health Begins with Reconnection Hi everyone, I recently joined Justin Louis‑Jean on the Just INwords podcast for a thoughtful conversation about men, emotion, identity, and the quiet pressures that often go unspoken. With over fifty years of experience working with individuals, couples, and families, I have seen how
Read My Post
A parent with hobbies searching for the perfect book in a messy library, symbolizing defiance and emotional reflection in Maryland and DC.

How Does Messy Happen? | Why Clutter Appears and What Science Says

The Quiet Creep of Clutter, And Why Science Says It’s Normal Have you ever noticed how quickly things can get messy? You come in from work and put your keys, papers, and other things on the counter or perhaps a small table by the door. If you leave them there,
Read My Post
A woman reading about self-worth and identity after falling for relationship scams, symbolizing garage girl friendship and emotional connection in Maryland and DC.

Scams

SCAMS Vulnerability, Outrage, and the Emotional Cost of Exploitation Scams don’t just steal money—they erode trust, dignity, and emotional safety. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how aging increases vulnerability, why systemic protections fall short, and how outrage can fuel advocacy and healing. What is it about
Read My Post