Category: Blog Posts

BLOG OR ESSAY?

Structure, Freedom, and the Joy of Going Nuts

Blogs wander. Essays march. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how blogs and essays differ in purpose, structure, and emotional tone—and why both have a place in the writer’s toolkit.

Are these two things the same?

A blog is short for “weblog,” which sounds unique to the computer and the World Wide Web. A blog is a written piece intended for distribution through the computer onto the Web. An essay is also a written piece intended to communicate something of substance. Essays are often a part of early writing education, helping the student understand logical structure and use structure to communicate a serious purpose.

Now let me ask this again: Are these two things the same?

The blog has no particular purpose or structure. It could be a written item or a string of pictures, as long as some words accompany it. Its unique characteristic is its intent to distribute. Now that sounds dangerous, but I mean that the blog is designed to be posted on the Web. The essay appears to have a clear intent to communicate in writing. The essay must have a topic sentence, a supporting narrative, and a conclusion. Essays also come in particular structures or intents. They can be narrative, descriptive, expository, argumentative, persuasive, or informational. Wow! Lots of choices!

Essays also have a process of development that is specifically taught. The essay requires five steps: planning, drafting, revising, editing, and proofreading. Essay writing sounds quite purposeful.

As you will recognize from my past and this blog, blogging has no specific structure. I can roam anywhere, take any time I want, and land somewhere without connection to my beginning. In other words, bloggers can go nuts! Furthermore, the blog does not have to have any intent other than smashing a bunch of words together. A blog can be a real mash-up as the blogger goes nuts.

Speaking of nuts, do you have a favorite nut? If I had to choose just one, I actually prefer the mixed nut can, but if I had to choose just one, it would be the cashew. My husband, on the other hand, goes nuts for pistachios. Now, I don’t like my nuts to be green, as that makes me think they are tainted or infected with something. And those shells are sharp. He once thought of collecting a bunch of them to throw into the garden, so that the sharp edges on the shells would cut the bunnies’ feet and send them racing from the garden. You guessed it. It did not work, and that saved me from ordering a container full of cashew shells. You can do that! Who knew?

See. A blog can go anywhere.

Want to explore how blogs and essays differ in structure and creative freedom? Visit Influno’s guide to blog vs essay writing, AskAnyDifference’s comparison of blog and essay, and EssayJob’s breakdown of essays vs creative writing.

If you’re reflecting on writing style, creative expression, or communication skills, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, creativity, and voice.

Choosing the Right School, What Maryland and DC Students Should Consider

Did you have the college experience, or are you having it now as an adult?

Spring is when many students begin searching for the right college. It’s a season of campus visits, exploring new places, and finding a school that truly fits, much like choosing clothes that match your personal style.

This is an important decision for both students and parents.

Cost matters. Try to stay within your family’s budget and look for scholarships. Many scholarships go unused simply because students don’t apply. Taking the lead on this can help with costs and open more options.

Climate is another factor. Some students head north for cold and snow, others go south for warmth, and some don’t care either way. If you have a favorite kind of weather or enjoy certain sports, keep that in mind. You may need different clothing, so include that in your budget.

Once you’ve considered cost and climate, it’s time to look at academics. Academics matter, but they may not be your only priority. Your college counselor will suggest schools based on your grades, but you can explore other options too. Just know this may involve some risk or require personal connections.

Choosing a college is a lot like choosing a suit. You may not use it forever, but it needs to fit well. You’ll likely be there for four years—unless you finish early, as I did.

What you study in college helps shape your future and prepares you for work and new experiences. Many graduates stay in touch with professors and use them as references for jobs or graduate school. College is a key time to figure out who you are and choose a path that may last for years. Whether you stick with your first choice or change directions and meet new people, your college years will have a lasting impact on your life.

Take your time choosing a college. The school you pick can shape your future for many years.

For more reflections on growth, decision‑making, and emotional development, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you or your family are navigating major life transitions—like preparing for college—therapy can help clarify values, reduce stress, and support healthy decision‑making. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support young adults and families during times of change.

Capacity, Culture, and the Metaphor of a Meal

What Is on Your Plate? Isn’t this the question? Do you ever wonder how this reference got started? Or consider the recent GEICO commercial, where the little green guy is offered a tiny plate of food. “Who comes up with these things?”

The size of that plate should get all of us thinking. What is our capacity? How much can we really handle?

Some people are definitely in the gecko’s category, where they can only handle a small amount. Life has to be orderly, familiar, and perhaps repetitive for them to feel safe and comfortable. Some are at the other end of the spectrum and can manage a cornucopia of things with seeming ease.

Plates have been used to carry food since prehistoric times. Of course, not the china-type plates. For the caveman, the plate may have been a large leaf, a piece of animal hide, or a slab of bark. As cultures advanced, so did the plate. Egyptians used clay with fancy designs as elegant serving dishes.

The Renaissance saw the emergence of ceramic dinnerware. Colors and decorations were available, allowing the household to create their own unique designs. During the Enlightenment, the art of plate decoration was a refined art form. Today, you can find ceramic classes where plate decorating remains a popular activity.

In the modern era, plates are made of plastic. These were so durable that you could play with them as flying saucers in the backyard or street, then wash them up for dinner. And we should also include the dreaded paper plate!

But how did these practical carriers of food turn into a description of your day? The Oxford English Dictionary attributes the popularization of this phrase to the courtroom in 1928. Apparently, a witness described his plight by saying, “I have a lot on my plate.” The judge, being confused about the meaning of this, asked for clarity, and the witness referred to a life currently full of worry or problems.

So, there you have it. Having a lot on your plate is a metaphor for being burdened, busy, or occupied. What size is your plate?

Want to explore how emotional load and personal boundaries shape well-being? Visit Psychology Today’s guide to managing emotional load and Greater Good’s article on setting boundaries without guilt.

If you’re navigating overwhelm, emotional strain, or life balance, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, capacity, and emotional resilience.

PLAYING BRIDGE

Strategy, Sociability, and the Drama of the Deal

Bridge isn’t just a game—it’s a microcosm of human interaction. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how bridge blends logic, emotion, and partnership into a rich tapestry of competition and connection.

Do you indulge in this popular game? Is it a game?

Our neighborhood used to have a regular bridge game. We set up two tables in someone’s living room, and members took turns choosing whose house to use. Occasionally, an extra neighbor would show up, but generally, we were a gathering of 8. That makes two bridge tables of 4 each. We tended to rotate around so that you would play with at least two different partners by the end of the evening. The evening was friendly, even though at least two neighbors were cracker-jack bridge players. One had learned the game while flying planes off the early carriers. The other had learned as a toddler at her mother’s knee. She was a real cracker-jack and as gentle and kind as any soul. She knew everything about bridge and would answer any question, but she never complained about losing or revisited any hand or bid. She was a gem.

The game’s descriptions say it can be a casual party game or a serious competition. Our neighborhood game fell somewhere in between. Each person had some skill, and we were each competitive in other aspects of our lives, so this naturally showed up at the table. Compared to others, the interesting thing about this game is that it has techniques and strategies you can learn to improve your game. The more you play, the more serious the game becomes as you learn new conventions and strategies.

Bridge is a partnership game. You and your partner are to develop skills in parallel. There are “secret” codes of communication. Of course, if the other members at the table use the same conventions, they are not secret. Bridge is like a foreign language. Some things that you say have precise meanings. I have often wondered why the language is circumspect. Why not just say, “I have 4 of your best suit, so I think we can beat these other guys!” However, that is not allowed. You must use your card sense to determine what each of you has and land the best contract. Memorizing the conventions is a must!

Then one member of the partnership plays the hand. This can be dangerous. The observer is sometimes judgmental of the player. Now, they are not allowed to say anything, though I must tell you that some partners ignore this convention and blast away. Playing requires concentration, as you must plan ahead and adjust your strategy when the opposition throws curveballs. Concentration goes out the window if your partner is jumping into the fray. Feelings of irritation, fear, embarrassment, and other forms of trepidation jump into the mix, and your concentration is kaputt.

It is a game, but like many other games, it is a serious endeavor and a social treat!

Want to explore how bridge sharpens emotional intelligence and strategic thinking? Visit The Sports Reviewer’s guide to bridge psychology, SAGE’s study on strategy and impression management in bridge, and Bridge MindSport’s breakdown of emotional complexity and partnership dynamics.

If you’re reflecting on social connection, cognitive challenge, or emotional resilience, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and interpersonal growth.

Remembering Sacrifice, Loss, Cherishing Memory, and Choosing Daily Acts of Respect

As Memorial Day nears, I find myself deeply moved by the experience of loss. The recent passing of a cherished long‑term friend stirs both sadness and gratitude in my heart. He was gentle and compassionate, bringing warmth into the lives he touched. His work stood as a beacon of excellence, his guidance of his daughters was filled with wisdom and tenderness, his unwavering love for his wife inspired admiration, and his service to his country was selfless and brave.

Living near Washington, D.C., I am surrounded by memorials that echo the sacrifices of countless men and women. The city’s monuments are silent witnesses to the hopes, dreams, and heartbreak of those who built this nation with their lives. Every Memorial Day, I am reminded to feel gratitude for the unimaginable loss that allows me to wake each morning in peace.

Visiting the national battlefields near my home is always profoundly moving. The hallowed grounds of Manassas, Monocacy, Antietam, Ox Hill, South Mountain, Fredericksburg, Spotsylvania, and Gettysburg are steeped in the memory of lives freely given for unity. Standing there, I am enveloped by the sense of sacrifice and the unspoken stories of anguish, courage, and hope embedded in the soil.

The memorial at Pearl Harbor brings forth powerful reminders of our vulnerability and the heavy toll paid to defend freedom in World War II. Decades earlier, H.G. Wells’s hope in calling World War I “the war to end all wars” speaks to the longing for a peaceful resolution. Yet sorrow fills me as I see that mankind has not broken free from the cycle of conflict, and wars continue to claim lives around the world.

We struggle to find peace with one another and show true respect. Achieving this requires recognizing the profound value of sacrifice in daily life. On a summer night, turning down the boombox becomes an act of compassion for a weary neighbor. Sharing block‑party plans is not just a courtesy, but a gesture of understanding and care that lets neighbors find moments of quiet or gather joy elsewhere.

As you hang your flag on Monday, May 26, take a moment to express gratitude for the sacrifices made — and commit to practicing respect and understanding in your daily life as a way to honor those who gave everything.

For more reflections on grief, remembrance, and the psychology of honoring loss, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are navigating grief or reflecting on the meaning of loss, therapy can offer space for understanding, healing, and remembrance. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional resilience and compassionate processing.

The Fabric We All Know, But Rarely Stop to Understand

You will immediately have associations with that word. Perhaps a ragged, fringed pair of jeans you wore as a teen, or a sleek, tight‑fitting pair you sported at the local bar hoping to catch someone’s eye. Maybe you had a duffel bag made of the stuff, or a sturdy laundry bag that survived years of use.

I remember a pair of overalls that were so adorable on my toddler that they were worn constantly. And who can forget the denim jacket from high school? Denim is sturdy, dependable, and always shows up. But how much do we really know about this fabric?

Surprisingly, denim is French. Truly. I was certain it was an American invention rooted somewhere in the West, tied to cowboys and cattle drives. Apparently not.

Denim dates back to the 17th century — far earlier than Levi’s. French weavers, experimenting with fabric, developed a cotton twill using two different threads: one indigo and one white. The weave was perfect: strong, durable, nearly indestructible. Even more surprising, the earliest versions blended wool and silk. Who would think to marry those two? Yet they proved the old adage: opposites attract.

This fabric was designed as a workhorse. Laborers needed clothing that could take a beating and keep coming back. Denim delivered. Railroad workers and manual laborers across France embraced it because it held up to anything the workday demanded.

Denim originated in Nîmes, France — hence “de Nîmes,” which became “denim.” Nîmes sits in southern France and carries a distinctly Roman feel in its architecture. It was a major city in the Roman Empire, nestled between hills and plains, with roots reaching back to the Bronze Age. After the Roman conquest, the Arena of Nîmes was built around 100 AD and remains beautifully preserved today. If you want a Roman gladiator experience, go to Nîmes.

Just be sure to wear your jeans.

For more reflections on history, culture, and the psychology of everyday objects, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are exploring how memory, identity, or personal history shapes your present life, therapy can help you understand and deepen those connections. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight, resilience, and growth.

RAIN

Memory, Motion, and the Music of Moisture

Rain doesn’t just fall—it arrives with stories. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how rain evokes memory, nourishes the earth, and invites us into sensory presence and emotional connection.

Outside my kitchen sliding door, gentle rain falls on the deck. I can see the individual drops hitting the rocking chair and bouncing up about an inch before falling again. Interestingly, each drop does only one bounce. Those same drops are falling on the skylight above the stove and again bouncing before settling down on the glass and running down the pane. The sound of it on the skylight is mesmerizing.

The rain is fascinating today, and I wonder where it comes from. Ok. I know it falls from the sky, but I feel that this rain has been on the road and comes from far away.

This rain is not a virga, but I bet it comes close. Virga is rain that falls from the clouds and evaporates before it reaches the ground because the air is so dry that the raindrops dry up. We have been dry here for months. The shrubs and the flower garden show the effects. Even the River Birch is showing signs of stress. Given global warming, I am expecting more of this!

Wind can transport rain over long distances. Perhaps this sweet rain was meant for my cousins in the Midwest. Sorry, cousins, but we need this stuff. The garden is dry, and the watering can will not cut it. I cannot afford a sprinkler system right now, though I would love one.

I have also learned that we could have a “sun shower”. A “sun shower” is rain that has been carried from one location to another so that it falls on a perfectly sunny day in its new location. This could be called “Liquid Sunshine”. A town in Alaska called Ketchikan is famous for this type of rain. I was told they measure this rain with a gauge called “Liquid Sunshine”. I will ask my friends in Alaska to send some of that here.

The slow tap on the skylight could lull one to sleep, but I have work to do. I am making Lemon Squares as a treat for my family. These are delicious, with a cookie-crumb base and a lemon-gooey topping. I like to cut them into bite-sized squares so that they melt away when you toss them into your mouth. A rainy day is good for baking. The sound of the rain keeps you company, and the smell of the cookies as they bake stirs memories.

My mother loved to bake and was quite good at it. All sorts of cookies, cakes, and pies would come from her kitchen. A long time ago, my sister put together a cookbook with all of Mom’s recipes. By now, the corners of that book are bent; every page is dog-eared multiple times, and sticky fingerprints decorate several of the recipes. One of my favorite things about that book is that my granddaughters pull it out to make cookies or yeast rolls. The rolls are delicious!

I am grateful for these memories as I listen to the rain and wait for the cookies to bake.

Want to explore how rain evokes memory and emotional connection? Visit Psychologs’ reflections on rainy days and memory, Green Living Tribe’s guide to the smell of rain and mental health, and NeuroLaunch’s breakdown of rain psychology.

If you’re reflecting on sensory memory, emotional connection, or seasonal rhythms, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and emotional presence.

Why Every Generation Fears the Next Big Leap, Until It Becomes Ordinary

Every era has its turning point, an invention that feels unsettling at first, then becomes so essential we can’t imagine life without it. AI is simply the next one.

My grandparents started their married life in a “lean‑to” on several acres in the middle of Indiana. For those of you who do not know what a “lean‑to” is, I will elaborate. This is a shelter made of branches with one end buried in the ground and the other heading skyward. Several are put together, and the front parts are held up by upright branches, thus forming an open front and a closed back. Blankets or skins form a curtain across the front of the shelter. Now, I am sure they were relieved to eventually move into a cabin, and then a house, and by the time I came along, they had a rambling farmhouse.

Now, what is the point? Times change and life advances. Those steeped in tradition resist. For example, my Uncle Johnnie did not put in an indoor toilet until I was about 12. Think of that during an Indiana winter.

AI is the next essential convenience, much like indoor plumbing. The analogy holds up.

AI will flush out the ring binder that you used to carry around to every class. AI will write better essays and research more details in seconds than you can in hours. Will AI make some mistakes? Sure.

There are so many advances we can point to that were initially resisted but later embraced for the long term. We no longer look to miss “road apples” on the street. We drive from England to France. We call friends on other continents. We send messages around the world in seconds, and we can do the same with bombs if we so choose.

When college students cross the stage to receive diplomas and acknowledge their computers, their tribute to AI is understandable.

How might AI change your life? Airplanes quickly take you to Florida. Cars let you run errands all day. The comparison is clear.

AI is here to stay and will soon be serving you daily, just like every other invention. The fear is that AI could act independently. We are already being cautious about who can manage this intelligence. Anthropic refused to give the U.S. government unrestricted access to its AI technology. Powerful, or perhaps wise. This is the next frontier, and access is the key question. Who can know how it works? Who can control it? Or can you control it? Movies have explored the fear of AI taking over, and that is the concern.

Every generation faces a moment when the future feels too big, too fast, too unfamiliar. And yet, we adapt. We learn. We integrate. AI will be no different, another tool that reshapes our lives, challenges our assumptions, and ultimately becomes part of the everyday landscape.

For more reflections on technology, adaptation, and emotional resilience, visit Psychology Today’s essays on human behavior and change and Greater Good’s research on innovation and well‑being.

If AI stirs curiosity, anxiety, or questions about how we adapt to rapid change, therapy can help you explore those feelings with clarity and grounding. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional flexibility in a changing world.

Why the Boy You Once Were Still Shapes the Man You Are Adult Identity

What would the eight-year-old boy you were think of you now?

Where were you at age eight? What surrounded you? Who influenced you most then? Would you want to revisit—or relive—that time?

Eight-year-olds mark a pivotal point in life. They possess significant family memories and are still sensitive, with a sense of place, belonging, and rich recollections of people and attachments that shape their emotional history.

Your eight-year-old self is a powerful place to begin when exploring your emotional history. At that age, you had family, school, and community contexts that shaped your identity. The experiences of this stage are formative and establish a sense of self that can endure for decades.

Were you the outstanding student? The class clown? The fast runner? The cute guy? The tough guy? These labels tend to stick and influence us long after childhood ends.

One man I worked with remembers a magic set he received for his birthday—he used it to entertain his family for years. Another recalls being old enough to serve as a laborer for his father, acting as the household handyman. Another has a vivid memory of going to bed with a toy rifle every night as a protective object—keeping him safe from monsters and, likely, from his father as well.

Examining your eight-year-old self sharpens your understanding of your emotional history. The contexts and labels from this stage shape your lasting sense of self, influencing how you view yourself and how you relate to others.

Change is possible, but once a label is established, it embeds itself deeply. Perhaps you were the pudgy kid in class, but now, as a grown man, you have the body of an Iron Man—yet still think of yourself as the outcast who was teased. You may hyperfocus on physique, obsess over your appearance, and even project that focus onto your wife and children. They may not understand why it matters so much, and you may not either—until you revisit that elementary school boy who felt ostracized and shamed.

Once established, childhood labels influence adult behavior and self-perception. Revisiting your eight-year-old self helps explain enduring obsessions, insecurities, and emotional patterns rooted in memories from this formative time.

Your eight-year-old self continues to shape your present. Reflecting on how childhood memories and labels influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions reveals how your past now undermines—or drives—you.

For more reflections on emotional development, identity, and the psychology of early experience, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are curious about how your childhood continues to shape your adult life, therapy can help you understand the roots of your emotional patterns and begin meaningful change. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight, healing, and growth.

What Spring Gardens Teach Us About Childhood, Resilience, and Emotional Growth

The garden is a great place for thinking. You can go there as often as you want. Things change every day and every week. You can look forward to what comes next, enjoy new growth, or deal with new problems.

Our garden is just coming to life after the winter. As I reflect on this, I notice that spring cannot decide whether to stay. Temperatures fluctuate between early winter and early spring. I imagine little flower shoots confused and hurt by the volatility—much like children in an unstable household. One day, the parents are kind and engaging. The next day, they are cruel and raging.

Some garden plants are hardy and adapt to the ups and downs of the weather. The rose bush, tender and small, has not survived, but the clematis stands strong and determined. I am grateful for its resilience and vibrant blooms, especially as the vine flourishes in midspring.

Families can be unpredictable, and children absorb these experiences. As they grow, the wounds from early conflict remain with them. Stress at home shapes their relationships, whether they realize it or not. I’ve heard men talk about violence between their parents as if it were a movie unrelated to them. But violence at home is not easy to ignore. Like frost harms plants, violence quiets parts of us—and that history affects the present.

The garden is also shaped by its past. When preparing the soil, we had to add bags of peat to the heavy clay. Clay is good for staying firm and providing stability, but it is not good for growing soft, delicate plants. Their roots cannot penetrate the hardness, so they give up. The peat was needed—many bags of it. At some point, we decided it was enough. But now, I worry the plants wish we had added more.

Young children need tenderness, careful attention, and interest instilled in them to grow and thrive. The hardness of some parents leads to fear of relationships and rigidity within them. Like clay soil, these children are robbed of the nutrients necessary for emotional growth and connection. They need a ton of peat to open up.

For more reflections on emotional development, childhood experiences, and the psychology of resilience, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are exploring how your own early environment shaped your emotional life—or noticing patterns that feel rooted in childhood—therapy can help you understand and transform those foundations. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional healing, resilience, and growth.