Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Playing Bridge

PLAYING BRIDGE

Strategy, Sociability, and the Drama of the Deal

Bridge isn’t just a game—it’s a microcosm of human interaction. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how bridge blends logic, emotion, and partnership into a rich tapestry of competition and connection.

Do you indulge in this popular game? Is it a game?

Our neighborhood used to have a regular bridge game. We set up two tables in someone’s living room, and members took turns choosing whose house to use. Occasionally, an extra neighbor would show up, but generally, we were a gathering of 8. That makes two bridge tables of 4 each. We tended to rotate around so that you would play with at least two different partners by the end of the evening. The evening was friendly, even though at least two neighbors were cracker-jack bridge players. One had learned the game while flying planes off the early carriers. The other had learned as a toddler at her mother’s knee. She was a real cracker-jack and as gentle and kind as any soul. She knew everything about bridge and would answer any question, but she never complained about losing or revisited any hand or bid. She was a gem.

The game’s descriptions say it can be a casual party game or a serious competition. Our neighborhood game fell somewhere in between. Each person had some skill, and we were each competitive in other aspects of our lives, so this naturally showed up at the table. Compared to others, the interesting thing about this game is that it has techniques and strategies you can learn to improve your game. The more you play, the more serious the game becomes as you learn new conventions and strategies.

Bridge is a partnership game. You and your partner are to develop skills in parallel. There are “secret” codes of communication. Of course, if the other members at the table use the same conventions, they are not secret. Bridge is like a foreign language. Some things that you say have precise meanings. I have often wondered why the language is circumspect. Why not just say, “I have 4 of your best suit, so I think we can beat these other guys!” However, that is not allowed. You must use your card sense to determine what each of you has and land the best contract. Memorizing the conventions is a must!

Then one member of the partnership plays the hand. This can be dangerous. The observer is sometimes judgmental of the player. Now, they are not allowed to say anything, though I must tell you that some partners ignore this convention and blast away. Playing requires concentration, as you must plan ahead and adjust your strategy when the opposition throws curveballs. Concentration goes out the window if your partner is jumping into the fray. Feelings of irritation, fear, embarrassment, and other forms of trepidation jump into the mix, and your concentration is kaputt.

It is a game, but like many other games, it is a serious endeavor and a social treat!

Want to explore how bridge sharpens emotional intelligence and strategic thinking? Visit The Sports Reviewer’s guide to bridge psychology, SAGE’s study on strategy and impression management in bridge, and Bridge MindSport’s breakdown of emotional complexity and partnership dynamics.

If you’re reflecting on social connection, cognitive challenge, or emotional resilience, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and interpersonal growth.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Student sitting on a college campus with a book about Masculinity and fatherhood and raising boys, symbolizing Understanding Men’s Emotional Lives, brain, and independence in Maryland and DC.

WHERE DO OUR IDEAS ABOUT MASCULINITY COME FROM?

Unlearning What We Inherited and Making Space for Emotional Truth About Masculinity We rarely stop to ask where our ideas about masculinity actually come from. We inherit them, from family, from culture, from school, from silence, from what was rewarded and what was discouraged. I joined The James Finochio Show
Read My Post
Participants engaged in active listening during mediation thinking about while change feels hard during childhood, illustrating brain wiring, Emotional Healing, and mediation skills in online therapy in Maryland and DC.

Why Change Feels Hard | Understanding Your Nervous System and Emotional Patterns

Change Feels Hard And It’s Not About Willpower, It’s About Your Nervous System We often think change is about willpower. Try harder. Push through. Be more disciplined. But in reality, change is often blocked by something much deeper: the patterns our nervous system learned long before we ever had language
Read My Post
Woman being present observing a fly resting on a tree with spring sunlight streaming in, breathing in the bloom scent, symbolizing unexpected connection and emotional reflection on love in Maryland and DC.

Spring

The Quiet Joy of Early Spring in Maryland and DC Ahh, we can get outside again. Just when the four walls begin to feel unbearable, the temperature rises, and the lure of the garden wins. Daffodils appear everywhere, trumpeting their beauty and variety. Who knew there were so many kinds?
Read My Post
Photo of woman engaged in deep listening during a discussion about brain wiring and mediation with her family therapist as she's growing older.

Growing Older

The Shifting Landscape of Care, Memory, and Connection in Growing Older Growing older is never just about the person aging. It reshapes families, memories, roles, and the ways we stay connected to one another. Recently, I was talking with a friend who has an elderly mother. She and her mother
Read My Post