Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

BUILDING A RESERVE WITH OTHERS

Patience, Frustration, and the Currency of Connection

Relationships aren’t built on perfection—they’re built on grace. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how patience becomes a reserve we invest in others, and how emotional resilience helps us navigate the inevitable frustrations of group dynamics and human connection.

How often do you get frustrated with someone else? How does that frustration show in your relationship with the other?

Working in a group can sometimes be particularly problematic and frustrating. When each person is vested in their idea and plan, the tension can increase, and the frustration can lead to conflict or hard feelings. You have probably been there more than once. I know that I have, and frankly, sometimes it makes me wonder if the group process is worth the aggravation. Organizations can be unwieldy and complicated. They can sometimes seem like mazes that you have to get through, and there are so many dead ends that you get tired of retracing your steps and trying a new path. Now, I know we were born connected to one another and that we seek out connection with others as our natural state of being.

People always advise patience. Yes, I get it, but what does that really look like? What does it really mean? How often do I experience a model of patience that I can adopt? One of my dear friends has found the solution to frustrating interactions. She has a commitment to others and to herself that I truly admire.

Here is her sage advice:

“None of us is perfect, so we have patience with others to build up a reserve with others, hoping that reserve will be used towards us when we need it.”

Oh, what a beautiful sentiment and such wisdom. I want to practice having patience with others and envision the reserve that I am building. Perhaps seeing it as nuggets of gold will help me to accept the frustrations that come with being misunderstood, left out, or confused. I do not have to lean into frustration or worry. I can imagine those deposits building up and envision my own little Fort Knox that I can draw on in the future. Thank you, friend,* for that sage advice.

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*Thank you, Robyne

Want to explore how patience builds emotional resilience and strengthens relationships? Visit Psychology Today’s guide to transforming anger through patience, PositivePsychology.com’s overview of emotional resilience, and Science of Mind’s strategies for building emotional reserves.

If you’re ready to build your own reserve of patience and emotional strength, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational growth.