Why We’re Drawn To Connection and Our Love of Water
I am a lover of fountains. My attachment to them is undeniable, though its source is unclear. The sound and feel of water falling down a rocky pathway draw me in, hinting at a deeper connection.
The patio outside has a fountain. The deck off the kitchen has one too. Even the sunroom features a lovely volcanic rock fountain with a stone basin. We’ve put a little boat in that one just for fun.
Reflecting on this, I suspect the sound of moving water must be a throwback to the embryonic stage. We all begin in a pool of liquid that shifts and sways as the mother moves. Perhaps that is why young children are drawn to water. They love to splash in the pool, run through sprinklers, and float on a pond. The classic image of children swinging on a rope over a river brings an instant smile. We are all drawn to water.
Of course, some children have been made afraid of water, yet I believe the natural tendency is still to enjoy playing with it. The garden hose is often used to water your friends instead of the lawn. Becoming competent in the water is a goal for many parents of small children. I love seeing a small class of toddlers with floaty armbands in the shallow end of the pool for their beginner lessons. Just getting your head wet can be a challenge.
Our inborn affinity for water is only one example of our natural drive for connection. From the moment we are born—bonded to another person—we spend our lives seeking meaningful relationships in many different places.
The connection can be as simple as the neighborhood listserv. Through this invention, I am connected to the community. I can find a gardener referral, give away concert tickets I cannot use, and connect with a teenager to shovel the driveway and sidewalks. Professional websites connect me with colleagues and alert me to seminars and continuing education that keep me sharp. All manner of entertainment is at your fingertips on your cell phone. Clips that last a minute or two, and seminars that run for hours, are right there in your lap.
Knowledge and entertainment flow into my life just like the water in my fountains—constantly connecting me to my surroundings, to others, and to myself.
For more reflections on emotional connection and human behavior, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.
If you are exploring your own patterns of connection—or longing for deeper ones—therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional awareness, grounding, and meaningful relationships.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
