Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Furnace

Thermostats, Sweatshirts, and the Art of Staying Warm

When the chill creeps in, the furnace becomes more than a machine, it becomes a test of patience, memory, and modern technology. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the seasonal dance between warmth, frustration, and family ingenuity.

You have one of those because you are probably not living in a tent. Just how is yours doing?

You know that feeling when a chill starts outside and you haven’t activated your furnace for months? You think it’s a bit cool in the house today. Then you think it’s way too early to turn the heat on. The weatherman predicts sunny skies and higher temperatures tomorrow. You have tons of sweaters in your drawers and could choose any one to take the chill off. You even got a new sweatshirt from your granddaughter the other day with her college logo on it. You have plenty of choices before you have to flip that switch on the thermostat and activate the furnace. But you do it anyway.

You wait for that “hummm” sound that accompanies the beginning of the heat cycle. And you wait. Wait, the thing is not working! Maybe it’s the thermostat. Remember that you put in one of those smart things that you cannot operate. It has all of these remote features that you do not understand. There is an app on your phone that you struggle to open. Then, when it does open, it has all of these symbols and jargon, so you close it in frustration.

Your son-in-law, who lives a few miles away, can control your furnace, but you can’t. Nope, you are not going to call him. You can surely figure this out. After all, it is just a furnace. Furnaces have been around for a very, very long time. How complicated can this be?

Fortunately, you have kept the manual for everything. I mean, everything in this house has a manual. Two full drawers of your file cabinet are filled with these manuals. Some of them are at least an inch thick, and some are minuscule with print that you cannot possibly read, even with the magnifying glass on your smartphone. And oh, do not get me started on that one. Do you know how many times I have wanted to use that app and cannot find it? What happens to it? It was there when I turned my phone on, and now it is nowhere to be seen.

Anyway, back to the furnace. Ah, finally, there it is. The furnace manual is in Chinese! You have to be kidding me?! I tried Chinese in college, and it made no sense to me. My granddaughter is taking Chinese in high school, but I cannot imagine that she has the skill at this point to decipher the manual. Useless! Not the granddaughter, the manual!

OK, we can call the furnace guy; he will come out sometime next week. Remember, we do have drawers full of sweaters, and the weatherman has predicted a warming spell. I also have that school sweatshirt!

Want to explore how seasonal discomfort and tech frustration affect emotional well-being? Visit Psychology Today’s article on everyday stress and Wirecutter’s guide to staying warm at home.

If you’re navigating seasonal transitions, tech overwhelm, or emotional stress, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and comfort.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

A woman drafting a handwritten letter with her feelings in life, symbolizing the power of connection in Maryland and DC.

Life is a Series of Rooms

From Arrival to Farewell: The Spaces That Shape Our Life Life unfolds in rooms, each one holding its own lessons, memories, and meaning. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how the spaces we inhabit mark our growth, our relationships, and ultimately, our legacy. Room 1: The Delivery
Read My Post
Student sitting on a college campus with a book about Masculinity and fatherhood and raising boys, symbolizing Understanding Men’s Emotional Lives, brain, and independence in Maryland and DC.

WHERE DO OUR IDEAS ABOUT MASCULINITY COME FROM?

Unlearning What We Inherited and Making Space for Emotional Truth About Masculinity We rarely stop to ask where our ideas about masculinity actually come from. We inherit them, from family, from culture, from school, from silence, from what was rewarded and what was discouraged. I joined The James Finochio Show
Read My Post
Participants engaged in active listening during mediation thinking about while change feels hard during childhood, illustrating brain wiring, Emotional Healing, and mediation skills in online therapy in Maryland and DC.

Why Change Feels Hard | Understanding Your Nervous System and Emotional Patterns

Change Feels Hard And It’s Not About Willpower, It’s About Your Nervous System We often think change is about willpower. Try harder. Push through. Be more disciplined. But in reality, change is often blocked by something much deeper: the patterns our nervous system learned long before we ever had language
Read My Post
Woman being present observing a fly resting on a tree with spring sunlight streaming in, breathing in the bloom scent, symbolizing unexpected connection and emotional reflection on love in Maryland and DC.

Spring

The Quiet Joy of Early Spring in Maryland and DC Ahh, we can get outside again. Just when the four walls begin to feel unbearable, the temperature rises, and the lure of the garden wins. Daffodils appear everywhere, trumpeting their beauty and variety. Who knew there were so many kinds?
Read My Post