Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

HIGH SCHOOL WRESTLING

Strength, Memory, and the Grit to Get Back Up

Wrestling isn’t just a sport—it’s a metaphor for resilience. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how high school wrestling builds emotional strength, how memories resurface through connection, and how girls are redefining the mat.

Ok, I did not participate in high school wrestling, but my brother did, and our house was the place other team members hung out. Watching them spit into a can to make weight for the next day was gross. Now, why am I going back decades to this lovely little vignette? Social media, of course!

I got a call today from one of those wrestlers who spent time at the house. How did he find me? Social media, of course! He found one of my blog posts on Facebook. A flood of high school memories led to the call. When we look back in time, we find some great memories. I was younger than the wrestlers but old enough to sit in the stands and cheer everyone on. I knew all the terminology and was young enough not to be embarrassed when shouting things out! Of course, the favorite was “Pin him!”

Lest you think wrestling is only for the boys, I was recently impressed by a woman speaking at a luncheon event I attended. She was coaching girls and women to wrestle. The organization, of course, is called Wrestle Like a Girl and is based in Washington, D.C. I had no idea such a thing existed! The goal of this organization is to empower girls and women to become leaders. The sport of wrestling is used as a platform to address individual development.

Wrestling is clearly an individual sport, and it takes courage to stand on the corner of that mat waiting to “dance” with your opponent to see who can be taken down first. Once on the mat, the grappling can be fierce and fast. The final slap of the referee’s hand to the mat can be devastating for the one on the bottom. Your shoulders have been pinned to the mat, and everyone knows it. Think about it. You have just been defeated personally, and you must get up and walk off the mat and across the gym to your seat on the bleachers. That walk can be hard. I admire the boy or girl who can return next week and fight to dominate their opponent.

Wrestling not only takes physical strength, but it also takes emotional strength both in the gym and throughout the week as you concentrate on “making weight.” You must fit in a particular weight class to compete. At the same time, you must maintain strength to take down your opponent. The balancing act is clear: hitting your weight target without losing muscle mass.

Isn’t that what aging is about too? Keep your weight in check and strengthen your muscles too so that your body will carry you around efficiently well into your 90s. Do not be fooled by thinking you will not live that long. The lifespan keeps expanding. So, maintaining a fighting weight and the strength to carry that weight around with you is critical.

So, even if you are a guy, think about wrestling like a girl.

Want to explore how wrestling builds emotional resilience? Visit The School of Wrestling’s guide to mental and emotional resilience, Voices of Wrestling’s article on bouncing back from failure, and National Wrestling Hall of Fame’s 10 reasons kids should wrestle.

If you’re reflecting on strength, memory, or emotional grit, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and personal resilience.