The Warmth, the Weirdness, and the Science Behind a Simple Hug
It’s National Hugging Day! Touch is one of the oldest forms of communication we have. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores why hugging matters, when it doesn’t, and how connection through touch supports emotional well‑being.
Apparently, we have now designated a national day for just about anything you can think of.
My media guru has informed me that January 21 has been designated as National Hugging Day.
This sounds both warm and creepy. Let’s take them one at a time.
National Hugging Day, celebrated since 1986, was started by Kevin Zaborney as a gentle reminder to be more intentional about showing care and connection to the people in our lives. It’s often marked by organized hugging events that support charitable fundraising—always with respect for personal boundaries. The psychological benefits of hugging are frequently highlighted, especially its role in improving mental health.
Hugs are intended to be gestures of warmth and comfort. Our skin is the largest organ in our body and, as such, can be critical to both our physical and mental health. Being touched tenderly and compassionately can enhance our sense of well‑being and help us heal from physical pain. Touch facilitates healing by releasing the hormone oxytocin. With this release, our nervous system calms, our mood improves, and we naturally experience a sense of well‑being. Touch is important for our health.
Think for a moment of the experience of an infant. They tend to be touched frequently. That skin stimulation bathes the brain in positive hormones, contributing to health, attention, and connection with others. On the other end of the age range, touch for the elderly is equally important. Elders who are touched tend to be healthier and to live longer. So, hugging those who are important to you is a great idea.
Hugs can also cross the line into creepy. Remember the distant uncle who would not let go? Think of the stranger you have just met, going in for a hug, and how awkward that feels. We all have these invisible boundaries. We tend to travel in our own personal space bubbles. The bubble is somewhat egg‑shaped, with a shallower back and an extended front. We can be comfortable in a crowded elevator when everyone faces forward and respects our personal space at the back. But if someone turns to face you in a crowded space, there is an immediate flinch and withdrawal.
Being hugged by a stranger is not comfortable. Babies are great at discerning the safe people in a room. If you want clarity on the relative safety of your friends and family, pass a baby around. Babies are perfect at discerning the trustworthiness of adults. They will relax in the arms of one who can be trusted, fidget with the ones who are iffy, and start crying with the ones who are not safe. They are great barometers for trustworthiness.
So, find a friend. Give them a hug!
Want to explore more about the psychology of touch and connection? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on the power of healthy touch and Greater Good’s research on how touch shapes emotional well‑being.
If this reflection sparks thoughts about connection, boundaries, or emotional well‑being, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and healthy connection.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst