Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

SNAIL MAIL

SNAIL MAIL

Paper, Patience, and the Power of Connection

Snail mail isn’t slow—it’s deliberate. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how handwritten letters preserve emotional depth, and why the art of letter writing remains a timeless act of love and legacy.

What is the origin of this phrase? Fortunately, you can find about anything on the internet. A brief search results in noting that the term was first used in 1942 in the Lowell Sun newspaper in Lowell, Massachusetts. However, the phrase was reversed to “mail snail” to reference the office person who was slow to respond. Real popularity hit in the 1990s when email took over, and messages could be sent quickly and easily via a computer. The reference, of course, is to the slower pace of moving messages within the office or through the US Post Office.

When you remember that messages were first delivered on foot and the significant advance was the Pony Express, you appreciate that email is a game changer. One day, I suppose we will have an implant in the brain to receive other people’s messages and thoughts. Yikes! That sounds awful. What if you could hear my thoughts? You like my earrings, and I think, wow, I bought those at a flea market in downtown Baltimore, and I wonder if you think I am cheap. Could you hear that thought? Or you ask why I did not show up to the last Church Board meeting, and I say I was busy when, in fact, I was watching “Zulu” for the umpteenth time and wanted to finish it. Yikes. What havoc will artificial intelligence wreak?

Recently, I have become a bigger fan of snail mail. I use it to send thank you notes and birthday cards and get well soon cards. I like finding a card in my stack of mail and figure that others like that too. There is something about holding the actual paper that is just plain satisfying. My granddaughters have had this habit from early childhood of making cards for birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. The cards are always creative and magical. I hope they never stop. I sometimes imagine that when they have their children, they will make homemade birthday cards for them, too! Traditions like that are essential.

When was the last time you sent a note, letter, or thank you to someone you value? Receiving real mail and holding the letter or card as you read the sentiment is a treat. Those that we love need to be honored in this way. I hope that the post office continues to deliver real cards and letters. However, I will say that the volume of catalogs and solicitations can be overwhelming. Those I could do without!

Whether you are snail mail or email enthusiasts, communicating with those you love and respect is essential. Often, we hear of family members finding boxes of letters when clearing out a loved one’s home after they have passed. These old letters are a treasure. Reading the notes passed between high school sweethearts, the letters cherished from men sent off to war, or the advice from grandparents to grandchildren heading off into the real world means bringing yourself face to face with the intimate connections of those we love. Letter writing used to be the only way of communicating long distance. I hope that this art is never lost.

Want to explore the emotional and historical value of snail mail? Visit Captain Mail’s reflections on the lost magic of snail mail, Unity’s guide to handwritten gratitude, and Live Laugh Rowe’s tribute to snail mail as a lost art.

If you’re reflecting on connection, tradition, or emotional expression, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational healing.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Person watching a Monarch butterfly perched on a flower, symbolizing memory, seasonal change and emotional transformation in Maryland and DC.

Letting Go | A Reflection on Seasonal Change, Memory, and Holding On

Why Seasonal Change Still Tugs at Us Long After Childhood Ahh. Summer is over, and fall is attempting to appear. However, with global warming, fall may be delayed as the heat continues to wrap around the block. The end of summer and the return to school mark a cycle that
Read My Post
A woman sitting outside listening to wind chimes on Lazy Summer Days thinking about her health, symbolizing emotional warmth and friendship in Maryland and DC.

Wind Chimes | From Ancient Warnings to Modern Music in the Breeze

From Ancient Warnings to Modern Music in the Breeze Wind chimes come in all shapes and sizes, made from every material imaginable. The earliest versions, of course, were created from whatever was readily available. If you were a caveman, what did you have on hand? Bones. The remains of animals
Read My Post
summer friends, two boys discovering the power of playing games and speaking while a parent watches patiently, symbolizing raising Boys’ Emotional Development, of boys cry, and emotional disconnection in Maryland and DC.

DO BOYS CRY?

Do Boys Cry And What That Means for a Generation of Emotional Health Hi everyone, I recently joined a conversation on Fit for Joy exploring one of the most important and often overlooked issues in emotional development: how boys are taught to restrict their emotional expression from an early age,
Read My Post
Woman reading about a newborn baby crying in a delivery room, symbolizing emotional insight and healing in Maryland and DC.

Emotional Insight – The Lesson Calculus Couldn’t Teach Featured Interview on an Unexpected Path Toward Helping People Grow through Emotional Insight Hello, I wanted to share a recent interview I was part of titled The Lesson Calculus Couldn’t Teach: How Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst Built a Career Helping People Grow. In
Read My Post