Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

SNAIL MAIL

SNAIL MAIL

Paper, Patience, and the Power of Connection

Snail mail isn’t slow—it’s deliberate. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how handwritten letters preserve emotional depth, and why the art of letter writing remains a timeless act of love and legacy.

What is the origin of this phrase? Fortunately, you can find about anything on the internet. A brief search results in noting that the term was first used in 1942 in the Lowell Sun newspaper in Lowell, Massachusetts. However, the phrase was reversed to “mail snail” to reference the office person who was slow to respond. Real popularity hit in the 1990s when email took over, and messages could be sent quickly and easily via a computer. The reference, of course, is to the slower pace of moving messages within the office or through the US Post Office.

When you remember that messages were first delivered on foot and the significant advance was the Pony Express, you appreciate that email is a game changer. One day, I suppose we will have an implant in the brain to receive other people’s messages and thoughts. Yikes! That sounds awful. What if you could hear my thoughts? You like my earrings, and I think, wow, I bought those at a flea market in downtown Baltimore, and I wonder if you think I am cheap. Could you hear that thought? Or you ask why I did not show up to the last Church Board meeting, and I say I was busy when, in fact, I was watching “Zulu” for the umpteenth time and wanted to finish it. Yikes. What havoc will artificial intelligence wreak?

Recently, I have become a bigger fan of snail mail. I use it to send thank you notes and birthday cards and get well soon cards. I like finding a card in my stack of mail and figure that others like that too. There is something about holding the actual paper that is just plain satisfying. My granddaughters have had this habit from early childhood of making cards for birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. The cards are always creative and magical. I hope they never stop. I sometimes imagine that when they have their children, they will make homemade birthday cards for them, too! Traditions like that are essential.

When was the last time you sent a note, letter, or thank you to someone you value? Receiving real mail and holding the letter or card as you read the sentiment is a treat. Those that we love need to be honored in this way. I hope that the post office continues to deliver real cards and letters. However, I will say that the volume of catalogs and solicitations can be overwhelming. Those I could do without!

Whether you are snail mail or email enthusiasts, communicating with those you love and respect is essential. Often, we hear of family members finding boxes of letters when clearing out a loved one’s home after they have passed. These old letters are a treasure. Reading the notes passed between high school sweethearts, the letters cherished from men sent off to war, or the advice from grandparents to grandchildren heading off into the real world means bringing yourself face to face with the intimate connections of those we love. Letter writing used to be the only way of communicating long distance. I hope that this art is never lost.

Want to explore the emotional and historical value of snail mail? Visit Captain Mail’s reflections on the lost magic of snail mail, Unity’s guide to handwritten gratitude, and Live Laugh Rowe’s tribute to snail mail as a lost art.

If you’re reflecting on connection, tradition, or emotional expression, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational healing.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

A woman drawn to reflect the soul with a pink sunset on July 4th, symbolizing gender norms and emotional reflection and in Maryland and DC.

JULY 4TH

A Celebration of Freedom, Memory, and the Spirit of Community on July 4th What a fun celebration! This year is special, and every fence row in the neighborhood has decided to display patriotic bunting. Everything is festive, and the mood carries easily into the day. Memories of other Fourths come
Read My Post
A person in a garden full of artichoke, symbolizing emotional growth and seasonal reflection through therapy in Maryland and DC.

The Heart of the Artichoke

A Metaphor for Effort, Patience, and the Rewards Hidden Beneath the Surface I rarely have an artichoke, but I rather like them. The plant can be found in Portugal, Morocco, Libya, and Greece. These are lovely places to visit, and the artichoke is a native plant, so you could pick
Read My Post
A person being satisfied by reading an essay, symbolizing intuition and emotional appreciation in Maryland and DC.

Satisfied

SATISFIED Expectations, Grace, and the Gentle Art of Repair Satisfaction isn’t perfection—it’s connection. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how emotional expectations shape our relationships, and how grace, humor, and repair transform disappointment into deeper understanding. Satisfied is a feeling that comes after something else. This feeling
Read My Post
Aging couple in retirement joined in gratitude having a a heart to heart about being a grandparent and parenting our parents, symbolizing emotional connection and Repair of Relationships in Maryland and DC.

Are You at That Age? | On Aging, Choice, and What Truly Fits Your Life

On Aging, Options, and Knowing What Truly Fits Your Life Yes, you know what I am talking about. There comes a time when you are getting older and looking ahead. You may even find yourself considering an elevator in your house. Have you noticed the TV ads for those round
Read My Post