Understanding Men’s Emotional Lives and Why It Matters
Dear Friends,
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Jed on the podcast Winning with Jed for a conversation that begins with a simple question—one that is often answered incorrectly—do men have feelings?
Of course they do. The more important question is why so many men appear not to express them.
In this episode, we talk about what psychology actually tells us about boys’ and men’s emotional lives, how early socialization narrows boys’ natural emotional range, and why this often leads to men who shut down, withdraw, or struggle to communicate what they are experiencing internally.
We explored:
- How men process emotions, and why it often looks different from what people expect
- The early messages boys receive about crying, tenderness, and vulnerability
- How emotional suppression can show up in the body, in stress, and in relationships
- Why many men only begin exploring their emotional lives during times of crisis
- Practical first steps men can take to reconnect with their emotional awareness privately and safely
We also discussed something I have observed repeatedly in my clinical work: many women genuinely want men to open up, yet unintentionally miss the brief moments when men actually try. Learning to recognize and stay present in those moments can transform a relationship.
If you have ever felt misunderstood, or have struggled to understand the men in your life, I believe this conversation will offer clarity and perhaps a new perspective.
🎧 You can watch the full episode here:
Winning with Jed – Full Episode
For more reflections on emotional development and human connection, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.
For those who want to go deeper, I also share resources during the conversation—including my downloadable feelings sheet and information about my book, Read, Reflect, Respond: The Three R’s of Growth and Change. You can find these tools at drvanderhorst.com, along with details about individual therapy in Maryland and DC and therapeutic approaches that support emotional growth for men, couples, and families.
Connection is not automatic. It is something we build, moment by moment, with curiosity, patience, and courage.
Warmly,
Gloria Vanderhorst, PhD
Psychologist | Author | Specialist in Human Connection
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst