Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

The French Have Many Names for Wine and Futility

THE FRENCH HAVE MANY NAMES FOR WINE AND FUTILITY

History, Humor, and the Anchoring Power of Connection

Wine may be fermented joy, but futility? That’s a vintage all its own. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how French history mirrors personal emotional cycles—and how relationships, like a good Bordeaux, offer grounding and grace.

Now that was a shocker! Wine, I get, but futility! I guess we have to look at the history. The peaks and valleys of French history revolve around the role of the monarchy in the life of a country. France has been on a roller coaster ride since Charlemagne, Monarchy, Republic, Monarchy, Republic, etc. The swing between monarchy and republic may have settled, but the futile description now makes sense.

The swing between ways of being and governing is not unusual, even for individuals. We are born dependent on another, so we start life in a monarchy. The Queen Mother or King Father is in charge, and we are totally dependent on their choices and edicts. When we begin to walk and talk, the pendulum may swing in the opposite direction as the toddler seems to rule. The parent regains power and influence until the hormones kick in and adolescence comes roaring to the forefront. Batten the hatches as conflict and explosions are likely. Our personal histories are not so far off from the French, but hopefully, no one is dying.

What keeps us from spinning off into outer space as we careen back and forth? What anchors us? What sustains us? The answer is simple. Our relationships serve as anchors. Fortunately, we do not need many of them. One or two will do. A trusted family member or friend will serve very nicely. We all need a safe person who will listen, support, and confront when necessary. Interestingly, we serve those needs for others as well. The fabric of relationships is complicated and intricate. When we are about to explode or implode, a friend can help us see other choices. A friend can serve as a comforting presence without saying a word. A friend can give guidance and allow us to see paths forward when we are blind ourselves.

Perhaps France is a good model after all. A nice bottle of wine and a good friend who listens and provides guidance can turn futility into possibility.

Want to explore how French wine history reflects resilience and emotional complexity? Visit Wine International Association’s guide to French wine history, Wikipedia’s timeline of French wine evolution, and Amazing Food & Drink’s reflections on Bordeaux and Burgundy.

If you’re reflecting on emotional cycles, relational anchors, or historical metaphor, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and emotional grounding.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

An emotional parent, waiting and filled with regret about failure, sitting quietly on a park bench displaying empathy and courage, waiting for a package after a sorting delay, symbolizing resistance, emotional distance, self‑discovery, and the potential for reconnection in Maryland and DC.

ARE YOU LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE, OR SOMEONE ELSE’S?

How Expectations Shape Us, and How Self‑Discovery Sets Us Free Good to see you, How much of your life has been shaped by what others expected of you? That question became the center of a recent conversation I had on the Relatable Wisdom podcast, where we explored what it truly
Read My Post
Student sitting on a college campus with a book about Masculinity and fatherhood and raising boys, symbolizing Understanding Men’s Emotional Lives and independence in Maryland and DC.

Why Understanding Boys’ Emotional Lives When Raising Boys Matters More Than Ever

Raising Boys If you are a parent raising a boy, you may wonder why you should listen to someone who has not raised one herself. I have raised a girl — lovely she is. I have two granddaughters — lovely they are. So why am I talking to you as
Read My Post
Person journaling about cravings beside a window before a meeting, symbolizing introspection and emotional depth in therapy in Maryland and DC.

Hoovering Up Junk Food – Cravings

From Vacuums to Cravings: How We Get Pulled Back In Hoovering isn’t just about carpets, it’s about the forces that suck us back into old patterns. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how addiction, food, and emotional habits mirror the pull of toxic relationships, and why self-care
Read My Post
A person in a garden, symbolizing emotional growth and seasonal reflection through therapy in Maryland and DC.

Welcome to the Garden | What Gardens Teach Us About Family, Growth, and Renewal

What Gardens, and Families, Teach Us About Growth, Care, and Renewal How many of you have a garden? That could mean a big plot in the backyard or a planter on the windowsill in your kitchen. Gardens come in all shapes and sizes. Yours may be indoors or outdoors. The
Read My Post