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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

The French Have Many Names for Wine and Futility

THE FRENCH HAVE MANY NAMES FOR WINE AND FUTILITY

History, Humor, and the Anchoring Power of Connection

Wine may be fermented joy, but futility? That’s a vintage all its own. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how French history mirrors personal emotional cycles—and how relationships, like a good Bordeaux, offer grounding and grace.

Now that was a shocker! Wine, I get, but futility! I guess we have to look at the history. The peaks and valleys of French history revolve around the role of the monarchy in the life of a country. France has been on a roller coaster ride since Charlemagne, Monarchy, Republic, Monarchy, Republic, etc. The swing between monarchy and republic may have settled, but the futile description now makes sense.

The swing between ways of being and governing is not unusual, even for individuals. We are born dependent on another, so we start life in a monarchy. The Queen Mother or King Father is in charge, and we are totally dependent on their choices and edicts. When we begin to walk and talk, the pendulum may swing in the opposite direction as the toddler seems to rule. The parent regains power and influence until the hormones kick in and adolescence comes roaring to the forefront. Batten the hatches as conflict and explosions are likely. Our personal histories are not so far off from the French, but hopefully, no one is dying.

What keeps us from spinning off into outer space as we careen back and forth? What anchors us? What sustains us? The answer is simple. Our relationships serve as anchors. Fortunately, we do not need many of them. One or two will do. A trusted family member or friend will serve very nicely. We all need a safe person who will listen, support, and confront when necessary. Interestingly, we serve those needs for others as well. The fabric of relationships is complicated and intricate. When we are about to explode or implode, a friend can help us see other choices. A friend can serve as a comforting presence without saying a word. A friend can give guidance and allow us to see paths forward when we are blind ourselves.

Perhaps France is a good model after all. A nice bottle of wine and a good friend who listens and provides guidance can turn futility into possibility.

Want to explore how French wine history reflects resilience and emotional complexity? Visit Wine International Association’s guide to French wine history, Wikipedia’s timeline of French wine evolution, and Amazing Food & Drink’s reflections on Bordeaux and Burgundy.

If you’re reflecting on emotional cycles, relational anchors, or historical metaphor, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and emotional grounding.

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