SCAMS
Deception, Vulnerability, and the Emotional Toll of Being Fooled
Scams aren’t just financial—they’re emotional invasions. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how scams exploit trust, trigger shame, and fracture relationships, and why emotional recovery is just as vital as financial repair.
Ahh! That is no doubt a familiar word. They are everywhere. We are all familiar with the phone calls where a robotic system dials hundreds of numbers, and a bank of humans sits at the ready to pick up a call and convince you to buy something or frighten you into believing that a dear friend or relative is in trouble. The latter version is truly cruel. I have never been caught in the trap, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be. Anyone with an attachment to a child, relative, or friend can become a victim.
I know several people who have given up their landlines for this very reason. The robocalls come daily. The phone company has managed to identify a few of these and block them before the call is answered. I wonder how they do that and why they can’t block them all. I also wonder why the United States of America cannot figure out how to protect us from this insanity. I honestly believe they could, but I guess the value of that protection is not high enough to give us priority.
Perhaps there is some logic to this insanity. Humans do like to be fooled sometimes. We pay to see magicians pull rabbits out of hats and pull coins from behind our ears. This entertainment is fascinating. We want to learn how they do it, and we take pleasure in the show. We are particularly fascinated by the girl who gets cut in half and then magically appears whole again. Do not try this trick at home!
We play tricks on each other. We use an entire holiday to do that. April Fool’s Day is fun, whether we are talking about short-sheeting someone or making the office coffee maker explode. We like to fool people. Hopefully, these things are done with a light spirit and not intended to harm another. I know what you are thinking…the office coffee machine is a bad idea!
However, we do not want to put our friends and relatives in a situation that could cause permanent damage. Giving a scammer access to your bank account or sending money to a supposed loved relative, only to find out you have been tricked, is truly cruel. This is also expensive. Recovering the loss and untangling the mess can take a long time, cost money we do not have, and lead to emotional distress that undermines us and our relationships. I know that some relationships have not been able to recover from this trap. These scams truly victimize us.
You can register for the Do-Not-Call list, and that can be somewhat helpful. You can report scams to the Federal Trade Commission. You can report scams to the Federal Communications Commission. You can even make reports to the FBI Internet Crimes Complaint Center when you suspect the call originated from another country. The bottom line is about trust. Do not trust anyone unless you really know them. Sad, but true.
Want to explore how scams affect emotional health and recovery? Visit Verywell Mind’s guide to emotional recovery after scams, AARP’s reflections on mental health and fraud, and BeScamAware’s support for scam victims.
If you’re reflecting on emotional vulnerability, trust, or recovery after deception, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support healing, resilience, and emotional clarity.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
