Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

LEARNING FROM THE BUTTERFLY

LEARNING FROM THE BUTTERFLY

Memory, Metamorphosis, and the Lessons We Carry

Butterflies don’t just transform—they remember. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how metamorphosis mirrors emotional growth, and how memory becomes a bridge between past and present, even in the smallest of creatures.

Butterflies are beautiful. They come in assorted colors and sizes, and they are great fun to watch. Butterflies belong to the insect order called Lepidoptera. Moths get included in this group as well. Lepidoptera means “scaly wings” in Greek. The Monarch butterfly has a migration path that takes them through Cape May, New Jersey. Every year, people come from miles around to be present for this migration. The bushes in every yard are covered with butterflies. Sometimes, if you stay still, they will land on you. Experiencing this close is a marvel.

I had the privilege of experiencing this phenomenon several years ago and would encourage you to go. Cape May is a cute small town with some old hotels along the beach that are inviting and comfortable. The beach is a flat sandy strip that seems to go on for miles. If you like long walks, you will be delighted. This east coast location is perfectly situated as the stopping place for hundreds of species of birds. Birdwatchers from all over come here in the late summer and early fall to take advantage of watching more than four hundred species of migrating birds.

The migration of the Monarch Butterflies is equally amazing. The number of butterflies that invade this town is a sight to behold. What I did not realize is that in some ways, these creatures are very much like humans. They transform from caterpillars to butterflies after going through a difficult growth period in a chrysalis. Humans go through a similar process: childhood, puberty and teen years, adulthood. We make dramatic changes as well and come out of the teen years to be quite different people than the children we started as. What I did not realize is that the butterfly retains the memories/experiences of the previous two stages. Butterflies remember being caterpillars—even after metamorphosis.

Holding onto memories is important for a variety of reasons. I want to highlight two of those. First, memories give us context for living. Second, memories give us opportunities for repair. Context enables us to appreciate our history. We know that we carry genetic material from the past three generations. That is a lot of context! Also, when families gather for celebrations, the presence of three generations is common. Being able to tell the stories of three generations is an important part of family tradition. As we experience the stories of three generations, we have a database that enables us to understand where we have come from and why we function the way that we do. The experiences that we have had in various parts of our childhood often need to be repaired. Neglect as infants, shocks as preschoolers, and hurts as middle schoolers and teens can impact our functioning in adulthood. Being able to revisit past hurts and injuries is important. Healing can take place when we can revisit these injuries.

Learning that even butterflies retain memories from when they were crawling along the ground is a welcome surprise. I wonder how many other insects, birds, and animals have similar capabilities. I do not know how they use these memories, but I do know that humans use them for healing and growth.

Want to explore how butterfly metamorphosis mirrors emotional transformation? Visit Insect Lore’s guide to personal change through metamorphosis, Butterfly Bee Garden’s life lessons from butterflies, and Monarch Butterflies’ reflections on imperfection and growth.

If you’re reflecting on memory, transformation, or emotional healing, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and personal renewal.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Woman writing outside in in summer in an old notebook, symbolizing nostalgia and emotional connection in Maryland and DC.

Goodbye Summer | A Reflection on Warm Days

A Farewell to Warm Summer Days, Porch Swings, and the Season That Lets Us Breathe I know you are thinking the same thing. Summer is OVER! No more sleeping in. No more lazy nights. No more ice cream trucks. No more swimming pool. No more porch swing. No more lazy
Read My Post
summer friends, two boys discovering the power of playing games and speaking while a parent watches patiently, symbolizing raising Boys’ Emotional Development, of boys cry, and emotional disconnection in Maryland and DC.

Summer Friends | A Reflection on Camp Adventures and Short‑Term Bonds

The Magic of Summer Friends, the Camp, the Adventure of Youth, and the Sweetness of Short‑Term Bonds Remember camp? What an adventure! What was yours like? One version is rustic. The cabins are made of old logs, and you can write on the walls to your heart’s content. Each cabin
Read My Post
Participants engaged in active listening during mediation thinking about while change feels hard during childhood, illustrating brain wiring, Emotional Healing, and mediation skills in online therapy in Maryland and DC.

I Scream, You Scream | A Reflection on Ice Cream Memories and Summer Joy

I Scream – The Sweet Treat That Unlocks a Lifetime of Summer Memories Raise your hand if you recognize this! In 1927, this little ditty became a classic and a tongue-twister challenge. For me, it brings back great memories associated with this summer treat. My grandmother’s ice cream churn would
Read My Post
A woman studying on round table next to appliances which Influences Connection and Conversation , symbolizing compassion and the origins of civilization in Maryland and DC.

How Table Shape Influences Connection and Conversation

How the Shape of a Table Shapes the Way We Relate and Influence Connection and Conversation Have you ever paused to consider why some tables are round and others are rectangular? My parents grew up in farming communities where long rectangular tables were the norm — the kind you’d see
Read My Post