Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

MUSIC AS A MIRROR

MUSIC AS A MIRROR

Emotion, Memory, and the Soundtrack of Connection

Music doesn’t just play—it reflects. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how music mirrors our moods, shapes our environments, and connects us across generations and life stages.

Music serves all kinds of purposes. Fancy restaurants play music in the background or even provide live music on occasion. The function of that soft music in the restaurant is to help you transition from your busy day into a relaxed mood. The more you are relaxed, the more you are likely to spend on food and drink. This background music is really functional.

The music you hear in the mall is designed to do something similar. The goal is to slow you down. When your pace slows, you are more likely to window shop and then walk into the store. Your pace through the store is likely to match the rhythm of the music, giving you time to look and imagine yourself in that dress or using that device that is quite expensive but very interesting. You are more likely to pause and ask questions of the store owner because the music lulls you into a slower pace. Your heart rate slows, and you are in the mood to peruse the racks and shelves. How often have you gone into a store with no intent to buy and come out with something that you love?

The music we choose to play in the car or at home reflects our mood and our need for stimulation. Yesterday, I was doing a sewing project with my granddaughter, and she put what I would call “elevator music” on her phone and then commented that she used this type of background music for times when she needed to concentrate on the task at hand. This was her go-to background music for doing homework!

Music can take us to many different places. Find a station that plays “oldies” from the ’60s, and I am transported back to high school. That is tons of fun because I know all the lyrics and love to sing along. Switch to a modern station, and I know nothing! Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga are a mystery to me. While my granddaughters know every lyric, I am lost. Music is a central part of our being.

What music attracts you? I am drawn to the Baroque era and love the music of the harpsichord. Do you even know what a harpsichord is? How about an Ottavino? This is the “laptop” version of the harpsichord. So, if your apartment or home is too small to house a harpsichord, you can always learn to play the Ottavino!

So many instruments are portable, and that makes them fun. Do you play a harmonica? Do you play a guitar or banjo? Having an instrument readily available is great fun for you and others. Music speaks to us in new ways and connects us with others. The joy of music is connected to early learning as well. Elderly patients with dementia who have not spoken for years can be brought back to life through the singing of early childhood songs. The ability to connect with others is powerful, and music can often be the key!

Want to explore how music mirrors emotion and memory? Visit Rolling Out’s guide to music and emotional connection, Psychology Today’s breakdown of how we experience music, and Reality Pathing’s insights on lyrics and emotional resonance.

If you’re reflecting on music, memory, or emotional connection, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and creative renewal.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

A woman writing a metaphor about guidance and patience while waiting for her food in the microwave, symbolizing emotional investment and resilience in Maryland and DC.

I Store Plates in My Microwave

I STORE PLATES IN MY MICROWAVE Technology, Tradition, and the Humor of Household Habits Microwaves may be designed for cooking, but they’ve also become symbols of skepticism, adaptation, and the occasional storage hack. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how kitchen appliances carry stories—of resistance, reinvention, and
Read My Post
Person reading about living in your head

Living in Your Head Is a Bad Neighbor

Connection, Memory, and the Architecture of the Mind We were born connected, and living in your heads too long can leave us isolated. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how early experiences shape emotional storage, and why reaching beyond our internal world is essential for healing and
Read My Post
Woman reading in a furnace heated room about sailing during snow with reflections in the window, symbolizing emotional complexity and quiet reflection in Maryland and DC.

From the Window | The Everyday Stories Happening Just Outside

The Small, Everyday Wonders We Notice When We Slow Down Windows are more than architectural features. They are frames, of seasons, of neighbors, of movement, of stories unfolding whether or not we step outside. Do you ever stop to think about the things you see from the window? I recently
Read My Post
A woman writing a seasonal essay about her month to month passions and inner life transformation with grit next to a steaming mug, symbolizing introspection and emotional clarity in Maryland and DC.

Blog or Essay?

BLOG OR ESSAY? Structure, Freedom, and the Joy of Going Nuts Blogs wander. Essays march. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how blogs and essays differ in purpose, structure, and emotional tone—and why both have a place in the writer’s toolkit. Are these two things the same?
Read My Post