Why Children Have So Much Emotional Energy and Adults Use It Differently
Have you ever walked into a room and felt the “vibe”? Do you have a friend or colleague who seems to exude energy?
What is this stuff?
Emotions. What are they? How many could you name? Seriously, stop right now and make a list. How many emotions come to mind?
If you downloaded the feelings sheet from my website, you know there are many, and I am confident others could be named and added to the list.
Why should I care? Why should you care?
Feelings drive the world. That is why we should care.
You think coal or wood are good energy sources? You think gasoline is a powerhouse? Have you ever spent a day or an afternoon with a two-year-old? That is an energy source.
Children seem to have this unending supply of energy. Ask any grandmother who is babysitting her grandchild as a toddler, and you will be talking to one exhausted lady. Toddlers seem to have an unending supply of energy. Their bodies are in constant motion. There is no such thing as a resting toddler. To shut them off, you have to tie them down practically.
I have never seen a toddler ready for a nap. Even when apparently exhausted, they will fight to keep going. What is the source of this energy?
A recent study on exercise physiology clarifies the truth and completes the picture. Children have more energy than endurance athletes who train with serious intent. Children have a metabolism designed to produce more energy and sustain energetic effort. They have this natural wealth of energy that athletes spend hours training to develop, and yet the child will beat them every time. That is so unfair.
Why is this energy wasted on the young? Children can reset their heart rate, reduce muscle fatigue naturally, and recover from exertion faster than the best-trained athlete. They have this ability naturally. Wow! No wonder we want to be a kid again.
But what is the reason? I am serious. Why is such an elegant capability given to the young when the older ones could really use it? This must have something to do with survival. Perhaps, as cavemen, the young had to be more energetic or independent to survive. Perhaps the first few years of life are so stressful that they need extra energy to adjust to this complicated world. Maybe it is not wasted on the young.
The physiology of this ability is interesting. Children can remove lactate from their system faster than an adult. That means they can clear the chemistry that triggers fatigue quickly, giving them an enviable ability to recharge. Children can reset their heart rate quickly and recover from exhaustion easily. Children have a physical recovery capacity that even the best athletes envy. Oh, to be a child again!
Their capacity for engagement seems to be endless. If you have ever cared for your grandchildren, you know exactly what I mean. Nap time is not designed for toddlers. It is designed for grandmothers!
As we age, our emotional energy shifts. We focus on regulation. Think of the boardroom scene. You have critical information to present, and yet you cannot be impulsive. You have to be strategic. You cannot blurt something out like the toddler at the dinner table. You have to plan and wait for the right moment, or break the communication into pieces and place them strategically throughout the meeting.
The grown-up has a completely different task. Sure, that takes energy. But it is a different kind of energy. Toddlers are not strategic. Adults must be.
An adult’s emotional energy is different and lends itself to planning and strategy. A toddler’s emotional energy is a pure reaction to the present. There’s joy in that, and the innocence is valuable.
Explore related reflections:
The Right Mindset blog
Individual Therapy in Maryland and DC
Therapeutic Approaches
Learn more from trusted child development and psychology resources:
Harvard Center on the Developing Child
American Psychological Association – Child Development
Psychology Today – Child Development
If you are interested in emotional growth, child development, or understanding how emotions shape behavior throughout life, therapy can provide valuable insight. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support resilience, self-awareness, and lifelong growth.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
