Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Expectations

How Summer and Expectations Shaped Our Childhood, and Still Shapes Us Now

I remember the night before our family left for summer vacation. Everything was packed and stowed in the car. The back seat was fitted with blow‑up mattresses folded into the wells so the kids had a place to lie down and sleep, if we could. We were sent to bed, though no one truly slept, and then carried to the car around midnight to begin the long journey to the lake.

Summer was a season of expectations. School was over, and if you were lucky, you had no assignments to complete. Yes, there was always the reading list for September, but you had all summer to ignore it and cram those novels into the last two weeks of August. With summer’s arrival, everything felt glorious. Vacation was coming. Freedom was coming. The freedom to ride your bike, roam the neighborhood, and get into just enough mischief to feel alive.

Now, as summer approaches again, what are your expectations?

Think back to those childhood summers. Maybe you looked forward to sleep‑away camp, or perhaps you had a neighbor who ran a day camp where you could run wild, scream to your heart’s content, make water balloons, battle with other campers, create beaded necklaces or bookmarks, put on plays, and turn everything into a contest with your friends.

Looking forward to summer was a treat in itself.

After all, summer symbolized freedom. No more waking up at dawn to meet the bus. No more homework after dinner. No more rigid schedules. Summer was different. You could go to the barn and spend the morning building a fort out of hay bales. You could wander to the creek, stir the water with a stick, and dig for tiny creatures. You could ride your bike to your friends’ houses and gather a gang to play baseball in the open field or hide‑and‑seek across the neighborhood.

If you were really lucky, you found a place to swim and spent the day moving in and out of the pool. At some point, you gathered the courage to try the high dive and prayed your friends weren’t watching that first attempt—because it was almost guaranteed to be a belly flop. But eventually, you were shouting for their attention as you leapt off the board, slicing through the water like a knife and touching the bottom before popping back up for air.

Summer is coming again, bringing its promise of freedom, adventure, and new memories.

Enjoy!!

For more reflections on memory, childhood experiences, and the psychology of anticipation, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are exploring how past experiences shape your present expectations—or how to create more joy and freedom in your life—therapy can help you understand and deepen those connections. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight, resilience, and growth.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Person watching a Monarch butterfly perched on a flower, symbolizing memory, seasonal change and emotional transformation in Maryland and DC.

Letting Go | A Reflection on Seasonal Change, Memory, and Holding On

Why Seasonal Change Still Tugs at Us Long After Childhood Ahh. Summer is over, and fall is attempting to appear. However, with global warming, fall may be delayed as the heat continues to wrap around the block. The end of summer and the return to school mark a cycle that
Read My Post
A woman sitting outside listening to wind chimes on Lazy Summer Days thinking about her health, symbolizing emotional warmth and friendship in Maryland and DC.

Wind Chimes | From Ancient Warnings to Modern Music in the Breeze

From Ancient Warnings to Modern Music in the Breeze Wind chimes come in all shapes and sizes, made from every material imaginable. The earliest versions, of course, were created from whatever was readily available. If you were a caveman, what did you have on hand? Bones. The remains of animals
Read My Post
summer friends, two boys discovering the power of playing games and speaking while a parent watches patiently, symbolizing raising Boys’ Emotional Development, of boys cry, and emotional disconnection in Maryland and DC.

DO BOYS CRY?

Do Boys Cry And What That Means for a Generation of Emotional Health Hi everyone, I recently joined a conversation on Fit for Joy exploring one of the most important and often overlooked issues in emotional development: how boys are taught to restrict their emotional expression from an early age,
Read My Post
Woman reading about a newborn baby crying in a delivery room, symbolizing emotional insight and healing in Maryland and DC.

Emotional Insight – The Lesson Calculus Couldn’t Teach Featured Interview on an Unexpected Path Toward Helping People Grow through Emotional Insight Hello, I wanted to share a recent interview I was part of titled The Lesson Calculus Couldn’t Teach: How Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst Built a Career Helping People Grow. In
Read My Post