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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

What Happens to Fathers in Adoption Stories?

A Featured Conversation on the Roots and Branches Podcast about Fathers in Adoption

Good to see you,

I recently joined Janet Monroe on the Roots and Branches podcast for a conversation about a perspective we rarely hear — the emotional experience of fathers in adoption.

Much of the public conversation around adoption focuses on birth mothers, adoptive families, and adoptees. Yet fathers often carry their own grief, questions, and longing, sometimes for decades, with little opportunity to speak about what they have experienced.

In this episode, we explore the powerful story of a man who discovered through DNA testing that he had a 40‑year‑old son he never knew existed. His story opens the door to a deeper conversation about identity, trauma, emotional expression, and the lifelong impact of family connections.

In our conversation, we discuss:

  • Why biological connections matter throughout our lives
  • The emotional impact of discovering family through DNA testing
  • How early trauma shapes relationships and identity
  • Why boys are often taught to suppress emotion from an early age
  • What healing looks like for men who have carried grief in silence
  • The importance of curiosity, connection, and compassion in understanding our own stories

Whether you have been touched by adoption personally or are simply interested in how early relationships shape us, I hope this conversation offers insight, understanding, and hope.

Watch the full conversation:
Roots and Branches Podcast Episode

Rooting for your growth,
Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst
Psychologist, Author, and Speaker

For more reflections on identity, emotional development, and family connection, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are navigating adoption‑related questions, early‑life trauma, or the emotional impact of family discovery, therapy can offer clarity and grounding. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, resilience, and emotional healing.

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