The Complexity, Influence, and Legacy of the Men Who Shape Us
The word “fathers” evokes a wide range of responses — from deep affection and admiration to complicated, painful memories. In my work as a psychologist, I have witnessed the full spectrum of emotional reactions. This diversity highlights both the importance and the complexity of a father’s influence.
Fathers can present in profoundly negative ways:
- The stoic man who rules silently
- The angry man who rules with cruelty
- The absent man who rules through mystery
And fathers can present in profoundly positive ways:
- The sacrificing man who gives generously
- The hard‑working man who gives tirelessly
- The loving man who gives tenderly
I was fortunate to have a father who was kind and principled — a man who led with reasoning and logic, mixed with humor and challenge.
As Father’s Day approaches, your reflections may naturally turn toward the fathers in your own life. You may find yourself pausing to consider their impact on who you are today.
The Story Behind Father’s Day
The origin of this holiday reveals much about our cultural attitudes toward fathers. Did you know that William Jackson Smart was its inspiration? He lived in Spokane, Washington — a city known for its lilac bushes, planted in the early 1900s as part of a beautification effort. A lovely association, but the real story lies with Smart himself.
William Jackson Smart was a Civil War veteran who raised six children alone after his wife died in childbirth. He must have done an extraordinary job. His daughter, Sonora Smart Dodd, advocated for a day to honor fathers, inspired by his devotion and sacrifice. In 1910, she convinced local clergy to celebrate fatherhood, and Spokane embraced the idea with an annual celebration.
But moving from local recognition to national acknowledgment proved far more difficult.
The Long Road to National Recognition
The journey to establishing Father’s Day as a national holiday was surprisingly complicated — a reflection of our ambivalence about fatherhood.
- Congress initially rejected the idea.
- Eight years passed before it was reconsidered.
- In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge supported making it a national holiday — Congress did not act.
- Years later, Senator Margaret Chase Smith accused Congress of ignoring fathers while celebrating mothers.
- In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued a Presidential Proclamation recognizing Father’s Day.
- Finally, in 1972, President Richard Nixon made it an official national holiday.
What a journey. What a struggle for fathers to be recognized as valuable members of the family.
The complexity of this path mirrors the complexity of our feelings about fathers themselves.
Your Story
As Father’s Day approaches, consider your own story. What has shaped your understanding of fatherhood? What has been given? What has been missing? What remains unresolved? And what deserves gratitude?
For more reflections on family, identity, and emotional development, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.
If you are exploring your relationship with your father — or the impact of fatherhood on your emotional life — therapy can offer clarity and support. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that help deepen understanding, healing, and emotional resilience.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
