HOW HARD IS IT TO BE A BABY?
Emotional Radar, Implicit Memory, and the Work of Early Survival
Babies may look carefree, but their brains are working overtime. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how infants absorb emotional environments, store implicit memories, and carry early experiences into adulthood.
In many ways, babies have it easy. They get fed, changed, bathed, rocked, and sung to, and they are easily the center of attention when anyone comes to visit. You get to sleep whenever you want. You get to eat whenever you want. You can command attention at any time of the day or night and expect to get it. You receive gifts and presents on an ongoing basis. Even strangers make a fuss over you. So, how hard can it be to be a baby?
Pretty darn hard!
You see, what we fail to realize is that babies come into the world with one marvelous survival mechanism: they understand the environment perfectly. Let me say that again—perfectly! If you think that is easy, think again. Babies are designed to be accurate assessors of the surrounding environment. They are “mood cops.” They immediately sense the tone in the room and track it perfectly. These creatures are like emotional detectives. You cannot fool them. You cannot schmooze them. You cannot distract them from this chore. They are designed to read the atmosphere continuously, and they do it perfectly.
Survival for this helpless creature depends on its ability to accurately read the world around it and announce distress when it experiences it. This must be arduous work. No wonder they take tons of naps and get fussy. Monitoring every emotion in the world around you would be exhausting. Gratefully, they lose this skill over time. If we maintained this accurate reading ability, none of us could survive. We would be constantly overwhelmed by the emotional tones all around us: Grandma is uncomfortable because you got her tea too hot; Dad is upset because the ball game has been replaced with the parade; Mom is frustrated because she wants more help in the kitchen; the children are tired of being well-behaved and have started to wrestle with each other. There are just too many emotional things happening to be aware of and responsive to all of them. So, we lose this skill over the first year of life. Thank goodness.
However, we retain all our experiences from that early stage of life. All those memories are packed into our brains. That means they are available for access, and it also means they can pop out and take over at different points in time. Without realizing it, you will be pushed or influenced to repeat an “infant thought or behavior” in the present. You will have no idea that your current behavior is based on infancy. If you were neglected as an infant, you will be sensitive to certain behaviors or voice tones of others and get a flash of irritation or anger that seems out of proportion to the present experience.
These “memories” are important signals of early trauma experiences that need to be addressed. The next time one of those flashes of emotion happens, find some private time to be curious about what you might have experienced as an infant and help that part of you dig deeper.
Want to explore how early emotional experiences shape memory and behavior? Visit Psychology Today’s guide to implicit memory in infancy, Natural Parenting Center’s insights on infant trauma and emotional development, and Evergreen Psychotherapy Center’s breakdown of memory and core beliefs.
If you’re reflecting on early experiences, emotional triggers, or healing from past patterns, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and developmental healing.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
