Risk, Preparation, and the Future of Raising Boys
Remember Philippe Petit? Can you dig that name out of your brain’s storage locker? If I mention the Twin Towers, does that do it for you?
Yes, he put a tightrope between the Twin Towers in New York City and walked across it.
Why do I bring this up today? He was a man who took risks, prepared well, and succeeded.
That is the hope we have for all of our boys, that they will reach manhood with the ability to take risks, prepare well, and succeed. That is the dream.
Today, when a couple becomes pregnant, they often throw a “gender reveal” party to disclose the sex of their unborn child. As you can see, these are recorded and posted on YouTube and other platforms. You would think that having a boy was equivalent to winning millions of dollars in the lottery. Really! I have seen the father‑to‑be jump up and down, scream, and go wild with excitement.
Couples seem to be so excited about having a boy. What they fail to understand is that raising a boy is exactly like walking a tightrope. However, very few families engage in the preparation that Philippe Petit did.
Raising a boy is not a walk in the park. Raising a boy is hard. We see in numerous “baby reveal” videos where both men and women tend to go bonkers when they discover the sex is a boy. Now, I know not everyone does this, but there are so many videos of boy reveals where not only the parents, but also the crowd, goes wild. There must be something to it.
Perhaps this is a survival mechanism, deep inside us, harkening back to the caveman days when the male bravely faced prey much bigger than himself to provide for his family. The male symbolized the survival of the species. Perhaps that is what is happening. But something surely has gone awry.
Why are most alcoholics male? Why are most drug addicts male? Why are our jails full of men? How did we get from the celebration in utero to the devastating reality that our men are not doing well? Why do men die at a younger age than women? Why are men 50% more likely to die of heart disease than women?
We must be doing something that contributes to these statistics. What exactly is it? I feel like our culture is walking the tightrope of survival.
Why are men four times more likely to commit suicide than women? Men account for approximately 80% of all suicides in the United States. What is going on?
We are walking a cultural tightrope, and we need a balance bar, or we will not make it across. The way we socialize our boys has to change.
Explore related reflections:
Understanding boy socialization
Emotional development in boys
Risk, preparation, and growth
If you are navigating questions about raising boys, emotional development, or family patterns, therapy can offer clarity and grounding. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, resilience, and meaningful change.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
