Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Renovating

The Endless Adventure of Making a House Work — Renovating Again

How many of you have been through this? Renovation can range from redoing a corner of a room to adding square footage to your house. We have done it all. And for some reason, we are at it again.

One would think we should not have bought this house — and they would probably be right. Looking back, getting here was a mystery. Moving cities is a chore, let alone finding the right house. In retrospect, I blame our old house for making us choose this one. Our old house was perfect: a lovely colonial on a tree‑lined street, neatly organized rooms, a coveted wrap‑around screened porch, and a huge yard with mature trees. We thought we would be planted there forever. Until…

The move was necessary. Fortunately, our grown daughter already lived in the city, which helped. After arriving, we toured condos, row houses, and individual homes, but without much enthusiasm. It felt like a temporary stop, so we barely cared. Even a tent might have sufficed.

After some searching, we toured this house with our daughter. The corner lot was nice. The house was a post‑war build — solid but small. One walkthrough, and we sat on the front steps with our daughter, who said she liked it. One should never buy a house because your daughter says she likes it. But we did.

Only after buying the house did we start asking questions. Was there a first‑floor bathroom? Did anyone add that in the post‑war world? Was there space for a washer and dryer, or just a clothesline as the post‑war mother likely had? Would our car fit in the tiny one‑car garage? Was there a pantry off the kitchen? Did it have a kitchen? Really.

As we settled in, more surprises emerged. Guess what? The kitchen had four doors, leaving little or no space for anything else. Now that is hard to accomplish. Oh — and the refrigerator was in the garage, and somehow we missed that.

So began our renovation journey. First, we added a kitchen. Then came a deck off the kitchen, which meant weatherproofing and screening in the space below. Next, we enclosed the side porch off the living room, and while at it, expanded the master bedroom above. We added a side driveway for easier access to the lower level. Finally, we put up a wall to level out the backyard, since no swing set would have ever worked on the original steep slope.

Now we are gutting and redoing the basement rec room.

I think we are done.

For more reflections on home, memory, and the psychology of place, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are navigating life transitions, home changes, or the emotional weight of uprooting and resettling, therapy can offer grounding and clarity. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support resilience, adaptation, and emotional steadiness.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

A person writing an apology note after being caught in scams, symbolizing vulnerability, emotional growth, ICBM, and conscience in Maryland and DC.

ICBM

When Three Letters Mean Something Very Different Than You Expect What comes to mind when you read ICBM? For many, the immediate association is an intercontinental ballistic missile—a delivery system designed to carry nuclear weapons across the globe. A defining characteristic of an ICBM is its ability to leave Earth’s
Read My Post
A woman experiencing stress and restrained EMOTIONAL ENERGY, finding happiness by reading a calendar joke about New Year's Resolutions, symbolizing rest and emotional renewal in Maryland and DC.

EMOTIONAL ENERGY

Why Children Have So Much Emotional Energy and Adults Use It Differently Have you ever walked into a room and felt the “vibe”? Do you have a friend or colleague who seems to exude energy? What is this stuff? Emotions. What are they? How many could you name? Seriously, stop
Read My Post
Woman sitting next to a vintage record from the past sitting beside a journal, symbolizing memory and emotional resonance in Maryland and DC.

Hello Past! | A Reflection on the Past and Early Experiences

Understanding the Body, the Brain, and the Early Roots That Shape Who We Become We all have complicated pasts. The life we live seems as complicated as the body we came in with. Have you ever really stopped to think about the number of systems in your body, the complicated
Read My Post
A woman reading about self-worth and identity after falling for relationship scams, symbolizing garage girl friendship and emotional connection in Maryland and DC.

Relationship

Grace at 30,000 Feet: A Relationship Story of Ego, Respect, and Emotional Growth Travel reveals more than destinations, it reveals character and the depth of a relationship. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how moments of tension can become lessons in humility, connection, and emotional maturity. Travel
Read My Post