The Hidden Emotional Cost of Growing Up Alone in a Digital World
I write this for the numerous 20‑somethings who consistently tell me they spent their childhoods playing video games alone in their rooms.
The imagery is heartbreaking, but the social and emotional consequences are life altering.
They come into therapy because they cannot find their way in this world. Yes, they went to college. And they probably played more video games there. But they cannot find their way after college. Yes, they picked a major and completed it, but they find it has little real‑world application. No one is asking them to analyze poetry, throw clay pots, or take a deep dive into political science.
What has happened?
Video games are fascinating and addictive. You must work to compete and reach the next level. You must be quick at making choices, and your reflexes are all important. Your focus is sharpened as you play, and your visual processing improves with each game. You will find yourself multitasking quickly. Because the stimuli are coming at you quickly, your brain produces more dopamine. You might want to slow down, but the dopamine hit can become addictive.
What happens when dopamine is overused?
Like any resource, it can be depleted. You will not ever really run out of the stuff because your body produces it, but intense stimulation causes dopamine to spike, leading to a type of “crash” or brain fog as your body resupplies itself. These dopamine surges are stressful on your brain and body. They can also become addictive. As your dopamine spikes and the feeling of excitement or euphoria peaks, you feel empowered, and you want to have that feeling again. The fact that the high is followed by a low is tolerated in order to experience the high again.
The other thing that gets lost in the fray is impulse control. Suddenly, you are ready to take other kinds of risks as well. Feeling high can have a downside.
You will experience a period of dopamine depletion as your body makes more of the chemical. That “down” can be tricky to manage and will leave you vulnerable to poor decision‑making and impaired impulse control. While the game may be exciting, the aftermath can be debilitating and risky. You do not have to be a video game player to experience this effect. Scrolling through social media can have the same effect.
Extreme fatigue and brain fog can set in while your dopamine stores are replenished.
Explore related reflections:
dopamine and behavior
digital overstimulation
young adult emotional health
If you are navigating overwhelm, emotional disconnection, or the long‑term effects of digital isolation, therapy can offer clarity and grounding. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, resilience, and meaningful growth.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
