Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Welcome to the Garden | What Gardens Teach Us About Family, Growth, and Renewal

What Gardens, and Families, Teach Us About Growth, Care, and Renewal

How many of you have a garden? That could mean a big plot in the backyard or a planter on the windowsill in your kitchen. Gardens come in all shapes and sizes. Yours may be indoors or outdoors. The joy of a garden transcends size. It may hold vegetables, flowers, exotic plants, or herbs. The delight of a garden is that you get to choose.

Regardless of the type of garden you enjoy, they all take work. This is the season to begin tending your garden. Our backyard houses a “moon garden,” filled with flowers that bloom white. In the evening, as the moon rises, the white blossoms catch the light. The joy of this sight is deeply satisfying. You would be surprised by how many flowers bloom in white.

The beds in the front of the house are filled with color, while those in the back wait for evening to show off their blooms.

I wonder if life has a similar pattern.

The early part of life is loud and boisterous. The cry of a newborn can shatter the sound barrier at any hour. A toddler’s squeals make you laugh. The thunderous motion of a young child can make your head spin. As children find their voices, you hear the music of independence and protest, followed by conviction and commitment as they move forward with their own lives. Then the cycle begins again as grandchildren enter the world.

The parallels are obvious. A garden and a family both require planning and careful tending in order to thrive. You cannot be rough with the soil or the plants. You must be vigilant to spot a new weed creeping in. During difficult or dry periods, you must pay extra attention and gently feed the tender plants to help them sustain themselves through those times.

A garden is complex and requires careful attention. The time, energy, and expense all come together to give you pleasure and validate the effort you have invested.

Enjoy your garden, big or small.

For more reflections on growth, family life, and emotional development, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are tending to your own “inner garden” and seeking support in navigating family dynamics or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional resilience, connection, and renewal.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Student sitting on a college campus with a book about Masculinity and fatherhood and raising boys, symbolizing Understanding Men’s Emotional Lives, brain, and independence in Maryland and DC.

WHERE DO OUR IDEAS ABOUT MASCULINITY COME FROM?

Unlearning What We Inherited and Making Space for Emotional Truth About Masculinity We rarely stop to ask where our ideas about masculinity actually come from. We inherit them, from family, from culture, from school, from silence, from what was rewarded and what was discouraged. I joined The James Finochio Show
Read My Post
Participants engaged in active listening during mediation thinking about while change feels hard during childhood, illustrating brain wiring, Emotional Healing, and mediation skills in online therapy in Maryland and DC.

Why Change Feels Hard | Understanding Your Nervous System and Emotional Patterns

Change Feels Hard And It’s Not About Willpower, It’s About Your Nervous System We often think change is about willpower. Try harder. Push through. Be more disciplined. But in reality, change is often blocked by something much deeper: the patterns our nervous system learned long before we ever had language
Read My Post
Woman being present observing a fly resting on a tree with spring sunlight streaming in, breathing in the bloom scent, symbolizing unexpected connection and emotional reflection on love in Maryland and DC.

Spring

The Quiet Joy of Early Spring in Maryland and DC Ahh, we can get outside again. Just when the four walls begin to feel unbearable, the temperature rises, and the lure of the garden wins. Daffodils appear everywhere, trumpeting their beauty and variety. Who knew there were so many kinds?
Read My Post
Photo of woman engaged in deep listening during a discussion about brain wiring and mediation with her family therapist as she's growing older.

Growing Older

The Shifting Landscape of Care, Memory, and Connection in Growing Older Growing older is never just about the person aging. It reshapes families, memories, roles, and the ways we stay connected to one another. Recently, I was talking with a friend who has an elderly mother. She and her mother
Read My Post