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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW CAN’T HURT YOU

The Myth, the Mess, and the Shard of Glass in the Play‑Doh

Have you heard that one? No doubt that comes from a parent or grandparent. Where do they get these things? Why do they pass them along? And why would you repeat it to your child!!!

As you read it now, does the absurdity of this statement smack you in the face?

If this is one of your favorites, smack yourself in the face!

Alright, let’s look at the story behind this. Secrets? Shame? Embarrassment? Fear?

Maybe all of those are jumbled up in a ball. Think of a child’s Play‑Doh collection. A bit of red gets attached to a ball of blue, which rolls into the yellow that you meant to set aside, which is attaching to a string of white that is now circling the ball in a wiggly way, and when you throw the thing into the box, a blob of black sticks to it as well. There. We finally have it. That’s Life!

Now, if there is a shard of glass buried inside of the ball… The last thing I want to do is smash that clay with the palm of my hand. OWWEEE!! I did not know it was there!

I thought you said that what I don’t know can’t hurt me?

I will venture to say that we have all had this experience as the receiver and most of us as the giver as well. This philosophy is somehow ingrained in us. Me, I have to be curious about its origin.

Secrets can be fun. Think of the surprise 16th birthday party that your parents were able to pull off. Months ahead of time, your mother challenged you to name your friends and tricked you by claiming that she did not think you had any. You showed her. You made a big long list! She invited all of them to your surprise party. Little did she know that you had fallen out with a few, added others she had never heard of, and shifted your bestie so that when she invited you for a sleepover so that Mother could get you out of the house to decorate, you turned her down. Teenagers. Go figure!

This adage proclaims that what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Wrong! That shard of glass in the Play‑Doh can leave quite a gash. That friend who got snubbed by your rejection can be pretty vindictive.

If you want to get specific, there are several things that “hide” so that you don’t know them and they can be lethal: CO2, asbestos silent exposure, cybersecurity leaks. Ok. I have made my point.

Explore related reflections:
The Right Mindset blog
Seasonal reflections
Therapeutic approaches

Learn more from trusted safety and psychology resources:
EPA – Carbon Monoxide Safety
CDC – Asbestos Exposure
CISA – Cybersecurity Basics

If you are navigating stress, emotional transitions, or the impact of long‑held beliefs, therapy can offer clarity and grounding. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, resilience, and meaningful growth.

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