Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Wise Older Woman

WISE OLDER WOMAN

Guidance, Courage, and the Quiet Power of Seeking Wisdom

She’s not just a character in folklore—she’s a mirror of your own readiness. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how the archetype of the wise older woman invites us to risk vulnerability, seek transformation, and embrace the challenge of growth.

Where do you find one? When do you need one?

Several cultures have the tradition of consulting a wise older woman. Often, this woman is shrouded in mystery and set apart from the group. Visiting her requires courage and a willingness to journey outside one’s comfort zone.

The wise older woman was powerful and would often test your strength and sincerity before issuing her advice. After all, you had to prove worthy of the advice. Risking the visit was insufficient; you had to pass the test of trust. Were you worthy of this advice? Could you handle the tough stuff? The wise woman was not a vending machine. Her wisdom would not be offered until you could prove that you would accept the advice.

You had to trust yourself. In making the journey, you were taking a risk. As you moved forward, you would face doubt. You would ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Do I need help? What if I can’t handle it? How will I cope? Various questions accompanied you on your journey. The journey was challenging, testing your commitment and willingness to seek wisdom and apply it.

One of the reasons that the wise woman was a journey away was to test your sincerity. Every culture has had a wise older woman who could be trusted to see you clearly and understand your capabilities. The journey tests your sincerity and willingness to accept advice. Throughout life, we are given advice. Our families seem eager to provide us with direction and even pressure us to move in their direction. The choice to seek out the wise woman is entirely different.

At that point, we have decided to place ourselves in the hands of another. This act of “leaning in,” knowing that we must find a way to follow the advice, takes courage and trust. Trusting another human being with our deepest longings and fears is an act of courage. Traveling to the wise woman takes fortitude. Accepting the direction of the wise woman takes trust. We are being tested, and simultaneously, we are being empowered as we receive the challenge.

Empowerment is a quiet experience. Purpose and intent soak into our souls. Often, we are challenged to squeeze out this courage and use it in ways that frighten us and strengthen us. Sage advice is usually hard to execute. Yet, the freedom that comes as you do is genuinely delicious.

Want to explore how the wise older woman archetype empowers transformation? Visit Judith Stafford’s reflections on reclaiming the wise woman, Symbolism Hub’s guide to the wise old woman in folklore, and The Shakti School’s insights on aging and empowerment.

If you’re reflecting on mentorship, emotional courage, or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and empowerment.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Woman reading about a newborn baby crying in a delivery room, symbolizing emotional insight and healing in Maryland and DC.

Pain As Survival

How Our Bodies and Minds Signal the Need for Connection through Emotional Pain Pain is not just discomfort, it is survival. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how physical and emotional pain serve as alarms, guiding us toward healing and connection. Pain is a natural feeling. It
Read My Post
Person looking at a vintage meat grinder hanging in a cozy kitchen, symbolizing renewal, memories and creativity in Maryland and DC.

Pie! | A Reflection on Memories, Comfort, and the Joy of Baking

The Memories, the Mischief, and the Magic of a Perfect Crust What just popped into your head? Your favorite pie? Your grandmother’s kitchen? The pie disaster you did not anticipate? Whatever it was, welcome the memory. Pie is a wonderful dessert. It comes in all flavors, and the “container” of
Read My Post
Person drinking coffee and wearing denim after Threading the Needle, symbolizing emotional balance and resilience through growth therapy in Maryland and DC.

READ, REFLECT, RESPOND: TURNING SELF‑AWARENESS INTO GROWTH

How Reflection Helps Us Revisit Our Stories and Renew Our Growth Path Forward Good to see you, I recently joined Temitope Adegoke on The School of Heritage for a thoughtful conversation about reflection, self-awareness, and the process of creating meaningful change in our lives. In my book, Return, Revisit, Renew:
Read My Post
Man in park reading about vulnerability and masculinity, alongside two men embracing with a firm back pat, symbolizing emotional connection and vulnerability in Maryland and DC.

Voice, Vulnerability, and the Bicycle Theory of Courage

PUBLIC SPEAKING Voice, Vulnerability, and the Bicycle Theory of Courage Public speaking isn’t just performance, it’s purpose. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the emotional journey of speaking aloud, the fear many face, and the support systems that make it possible to grow. How many of you
Read My Post