Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Divorce can shake a man to his core…

…especially when he was never taught how to understand, name, or share what he feels. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores what real healing looks like for men navigating loss later in life.

Hello,

Divorce can leave men feeling hollowed out, ashamed, and profoundly alone, especially when they were never taught how to understand or express what they feel.

I recently joined David Webb on the podcast Don’t Pick the Scab for a thoughtful and honest conversation about divorce recovery for men over 40—and what it actually takes to heal rather than simply survive.

With nearly fifty years of experience as a psychologist working with boys, men, couples, and families, I have seen how early emotional conditioning follows men into adulthood. Many men enter divorce carrying years of suppressed grief, anger, and longing, without language for their pain or permission to need support. Divorce does not create this wound—it exposes it.

In this episode, we explore how men can begin to heal after divorce by reconnecting with their emotional lives and rebuilding a sense of self grounded in honesty and connection.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why men are taught early to suppress emotion and how that affects divorce recovery
• How emotional disconnection can turn into resentment, isolation, and loss of identity
• Why connection, not toughness, is essential for healing
• How therapy and men’s groups support emotional growth and resilience
• Practical strategies for setting boundaries and navigating co‑parenting
• How men can manage loneliness and rebuild confidence after loss

This conversation is about giving men permission to feel without shame and to heal without doing it alone. It is about understanding that emotions are not a weakness—they are a pathway back to wholeness.

🎧 Listen to the full episode:
Divorce Recovery for Men Over 40
Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast

Want to explore more about men’s emotional development and healing after loss? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on men and emotional resilience and Greater Good’s research on recovery, connection, and well‑being.

If this conversation resonates with your experience—or someone you care about—therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional healing, clarity, and renewed confidence.

Warmly,
Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst
Psy