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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

FINDING

The Unexpected Joy of What Turns Up When Life Makes You Look

What came to mind when you saw that word—finding? Maybe you thought of HomeGoods, the store full of lovely things you don’t need but somehow end up buying because they are cute, sweet, or simply interesting. But that’s not where my mind went.

Instead, I was thinking about a recent experience triggered by the need to repaint a room. Preparing the space meant moving furniture, clearing closets, and rolling up rugs—tasks that led to surprising discoveries. Remember that tiny screwdriver you lost months ago? Despite searching everywhere, it was nowhere to be found… until now, tucked under the carpet and so embedded it seemed woven into the backing. And the earring you loved and mourned? It had somehow worked its way into the zipper of the rocking‑chair cushion. How does that even happen?

These unexpected finds reminded me of a story about cleaning out my friend’s grandmother’s house. Her grandmother was a hoarder. If you’ve never seen a hoarder’s home, you cannot imagine it. If you save every magazine you receive for thirty years, where do they go? They stack on the floor, filling every inch of space, with narrow aisles carved out so you can still reach the couch to watch TV—flanked by even larger magazine towers. And that’s just the living room.

The cleaning task was overwhelming, but my friend and her relatives knew treasures might be hidden in the chaos. And they were right. They found piles of cash beneath stacks of old clothing in the hall closet and a gorgeous diamond engagement ring stuffed in a plastic bag in the bottom drawer of a bureau. And those were only a few examples.

I am not advocating hoarding, but these stories do show that sorting and thoroughness can pay off. Ideally, this kind of tidying would happen regularly. But like many people, I find that reorganizing rarely makes it to the top of my to‑do list amid daily demands. Still, repainting turned up interesting finds—a reminder that reviewing and sorting can be unexpectedly rewarding.

Yet despite these reminders, I doubt the lesson will stick. Everyday life is too interesting—or too demanding—to set aside time regularly for rummaging through the past. I will likely wait until a big event, like redecorating or handling a loss, forces a deeper dive.

For more reflections on memory, meaning, and the psychology of everyday life, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are navigating transitions, sorting through the past, or seeking clarity about what to keep and what to release, therapy can offer grounding and perspective. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight, resilience, and renewal.

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