Comedy, Chaos, and the Truth About Parenting
Decades ago, I visited a friend in Chicago. She had tickets to a comedy show the next night, so we dressed up and went. Our seats were in the front row, which was thrilling. I like comedy, but I had never been to a live show before.
The headliner was George Carlin in his early days as a comedian. The stage was well set with a “homey” theme: a couple of comfy recliners, side tables, lamps, a kitchen table and chairs, a baby crib, and a high chair. The scene created a cozy home environment. We settled into the front row with glee! This would be a special evening, and we were excited.
Carlin entered from the back of the stage with a “ball and chain” attached to his ankle. While cradling this weighty ball in his arms, he approached the audience and loudly announced, “We had a BABY!” The audience went wild with laughter.
The diapered ball was the center of the show. You can imagine how he made fun of the process of parenting and the demands it places on Mom and Dad. It turns out that the “front row” was not a bonus, as he used every gimmick he could to illustrate the trials and tribulations of child care. The formula became a projectile, as did numerous Cheerios. Yet, you still had to laugh because it was side‑splitting, if a bit messy.
Children are a messy business, and you must come to this parenting thing prepared. Perhaps we should require those considering becoming parents to watch the Carlin skit before proceeding.
You cannot drive a car without completing classes and testing your skills on the road and in an exam. You cannot fly a plane without hours of simulator training, trial flights in the real thing, and rigorous examinations. You know I can take this analogy on and on.
Yet the most critical life choice and experience can be made with no preparation or training. Then we wonder why our teens struggle with drugs and alcohol and act out in both silly and dangerous ways.
Hey! We had no preparation for this job!
And do not tell me that the Life Skills courses in high school do the job! Caring for an apple with your high school buddy is nowhere near giving you the experience of being sleep‑deprived, insecure about your choices, agitated with your partner, and overwhelmed by your mother‑in‑law.
We need parenting gurus to show us the way and prevent us from making a mess of this job. Mothers who made a boatload of their own mistakes are not enough. Mothers‑in‑law who let their sons run around like wild Indians are not to be listened to. Baby nurses are helpful, but they get to go home in the morning and sleep for 10 hours before the next night shift.
And don’t get me started on pediatricians who are mainly male and have never nursed a thing!
Oh, congratulations on having a baby!
For more reflections on parenting, emotional development, and family dynamics, explore parenting reflections, family dynamics, and emotional development.
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By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
