Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

How a Tart Plant, and a Tender Metaphor about Emotional Growth, Can Teach Us About Connection

Rhubarb may be a childhood memory, a seasonal treat, or a metaphor for emotional growth. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection invites us to consider how we present ourselves, how we respond to others, and how we transform sourness into sweetness. Therapy can help us explore these layers with care and intention.

How many of you like rhubarb? How many of you know what rhubarb is? Ahhh, exactly what I thought. For me, rhubarb is a throwback to childhood. My daughter recently took me there by asking for a rhubarb pie for her birthday. Totally out of season! But being resourceful, I found a bakery online that not only made rhubarb pie but would ship it all over the country. What a world we live in! I can get rhubarb pie from miles away and out of season.

My mother would flip! Her rhubarb plant was in the corner of the backyard in a shady spot where the big broad leaves could spread out and show their pink stalks in the breeze. Racing across the lawn to pick these fat stalks was always fun. There is a special technique for picking rhubarb, and one must be careful not to eat the leaves as they have a reputation for being poisonous. Of course, they are not exactly poisonous, but they will give you a belly ache or diarrhea, so they might as well be poisonous.

Only the stalks are edible, providing you cook them with a lot of sugar, as these guys are really sour. And when you go to pick them, leave your garden shears behind. These guys are persnickety. They need to be twisted off at the base of the stalk. If they are twisted, they will grow a new stalk. If they are cut, they will not!

Perhaps rhubarb is a metaphor for life. We can all be toxic depending on how we are approached and how much work we have done to understand ourselves. When was the last time that you hurt someone? We all have preferences about how we like to be treated and none of us really prefer to be cut down. Who have you insulted recently? Often, our “broadleaf” presentation may be protecting more tender parts that need to be approached with care and respect. When have you been afraid to be yourself? In addition, you can take us and make something great to be shared with others. We can even be shipped across the country to delight others. Who has been thrilled to see you lately?

We can all take our sour parts and stir in some sweetness to cut the sour and make our approaches to others more engaging, respectful, and more likely to meet our needs.

If you’re ready to explore the metaphors and memories that shape your relationships, consider individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and growth. For a deeper look at rhubarb’s symbolism, visit Symbolism and Benefits of the Rhubarb.