Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

DO YOU HAVE A PLACE TO BELONG?

Why Connection Matters, and How We Find It

Belonging is more than a feeling, it’s a fundamental human need. For individuals in Maryland and DC, finding a place to belong can offer emotional grounding, purpose, and resilience. This post reflects on the power of connection, the longing for community, and the ways we discover where we truly fit.

I got a Newsletter in the mail today from a women’s club where I belong. As I was reading about the upcoming year for this group and looking at the pictures of the resolute women who run this group, I was struck by this feeling of “belonging”. I belong here; they expect me; they benefit from my help. What a satisfying feeling it is to have a place where you “belong”.

We are born into a relationship… physically connected to another human being. Our families welcome us with joy and excitement. They may even throw a party, get excited, and jump up and down. Now, I know that for a subset of people, this may not be the opening scene. Yet, even if it is not, we tend to spend our lives looking for that place to belong. We want to be connected to others, and we are not so good at going it alone. Some adventurers out there do daredevil things “alone”: crossing a high wire strung between two skyscrapers; trudging to the north pole; sailing the oceans around the world. Yet, even when we look at these daring feats, we will find a collection of people supporting the preparation, planning, and execution of these feats. Rarely do we truly function alone.

We want to be a part of something. We turn out in droves for all kinds of sports: football, baseball, basketball, soccer, and yes, even cricket! We gather for concerts and raves. We have family reunions, and even if we cannot remember everyone’s name and must ask Uncle Johnnie to give us the history of that tall one over there under the oak tree, we still want to know the connection between us.

Connection is powerful. Just the thought of it can sustain us. Think of the P.O.W.’s in the infamous Hanoi Hilton who sustained each other, even in isolation by a system of taps that let them experience connection. The power of knowing that someone else is there and cares about us can support us through the very worst of experiences.

I am grateful for that simple Newsletter that reminded me that I have a place where I belong. I am expected. Do you have a place where you belong?

If you’re seeking connection or exploring where you truly fit, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support belonging and emotional well-being. For deeper insight, see How to Find Where You Truly Belong from TED Ideas.