BURY YOUR PHONE
Technology, Disconnection, and the Call to Reconnect
Smartphones were meant to connect us—but what if they’re doing the opposite? For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how the evolution of mobile devices has reshaped communication, and why reclaiming face-to-face connection is more urgent than ever.
Apple is coming out with a new phone, as is their routine. This September, they will release the iPhone 17 with a price tag of at least $1249. Think of it. This thing started as a “shoe phone” or similar. The first iPhone released in 2007 cost $499. The Blackberry phone, which was popular from its release in 2002, cost $549 at the time, and the iPhone soon blew it out of the water. Going further back in the history of these portable phones, we find the 1984 Motorola DynaTAC 8000X selling for $3995. If you have one of those in your dresser drawer, it could be pretty valuable. At the time, you could talk for 30 minutes! Then the battery would die and need to be recharged.
Television popularized the “shoe” phone as a gadget used by the spy Maxwell Smart, played by Don Adams, on Get Smart. In our household, we dubbed the original flip phone a shoe phone. I think we still have one of those.
These devices are robbing us not just of our money but of our humanity as well. When I see two teens sitting next to each other, tapping on their phones and realizing that they are tapping to each other, I am appalled. Communication is not just words in print. Research has shown that 93% of communication may be nonverbal. Our facial expressions, posture, changes in muscle tone, and subtle gestures all make significant contributions to communication.
So, the teens sitting side by side and texting each other are stripping away the majority of the richness of communication. Think about the potential result. The capacity for empathy is diminished. The capacity for understanding is reduced. The capacity for connection is diminished. As a culture, where are we going? We already know that robots will take over most, if not all, of the basic functions in the future. They will do our shopping, cooking, cleaning, driving, etc. That leaves us lots of free time. If that time is consumed with isolating ourselves in a relationship with a smartphone, what happens next?
What happens to our emotional needs? I was thinking that the age of robots would lead to breakthroughs in emotional intelligence and advances in interpersonal development. However, if the next two generations are isolated with their devices, then interpersonal development will not likely be the focus of the future.
Put your phone down. Talk to the person sitting next to you on the couch.
Want to explore how smartphones affect emotional intelligence and social connection? Visit Greater Good’s interview with Sherry Turkle on reclaiming conversation, Psychology Today’s guide to smartphones and emotional development, and U.S. News’ tips for mindful smartphone use.
If you’re reflecting on digital habits, emotional connection, or interpersonal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and reconnection.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
