Seeing What’s in Your Way, and Clearing Space for What Matters
Life is full of challenges, big and small. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how noticing your daily obstacles can create clarity, reduce overwhelm, and open space for growth.
Ok, I hear you. Getting up in the morning can be a challenge. Figuring out what to make for dinner can be a challenge. Shutting off the news can be a challenge. Visiting your aging relative can be a challenge.
Ok, challenges are everywhere you turn. Recognizing these challenges can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed, which is essential for your personal growth.
Maybe I am just nuts. Or perhaps I am a glutton for punishment. Nope.
I am just plain realistic. Everything is a challenge. Some are really tiny, like which brand of tissue to buy. Some are really big, like deciding which job to apply for after being laid off. Most of them fall in between.
In my experience, challenges pop up all around you, and most of them are met quickly and easily, with little thought. My hope here is that you will look at these and take time to decide whether you need some “house cleaning.”
To take a look, you first need to recognize the daily, weekly, and monthly challenges. Start a list and prioritize them by urgency and impact. Don’t be in a hurry. Let the list sit and fill throughout a week. As you go about your daily routine, the challenges will be obvious—or not. Take time to pay attention for one week and write them down.
Now, get a cup of tea or your favorite coffee and sit down with your list. You have no doubt made an accurate assessment of the weekly events that fill your time. Now, take a broader look at the month, the quarter, the year, and add those things to the list. Getting big isn’t it. Keep going. Collect everything you can think of.
Now take a break and be glad you were so thorough. Breaks are essential, and we often forget how important they are. Frequently, we need a family member or a friend to remind us to take a breather. Be grateful for them. Our brains work better after a break. I am always amazed at how true this is.
I find myself hyper-focused, with the stress mounting, and too often I experience that stress as the necessary fuel to complete the project. Intense stress is helpful in a crisis. Hyperfocus can give you the strength to lift a car off a trapped child or cross the finish line in a race. Our bodies are remarkable machines, but most projects do not require hyperfocus.
Most projects like this one we are addressing require attention, attention to detail, and creativity. With your list in hand, look for the “offloads.” Identify tasks that can be delegated or eliminated, such as folding your daughters’ gym outfits. These offloads can be given back to the source or shared with others. Yes, this may result in some whining and complaining from the source, but do you really need to do everything yourself?
Think of the space you have freed up for your own endeavors. Remember that you promised yourself that you would write some poetry. Well, here is just the time you need.
If you’re reflecting on overwhelm, boundaries, or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and meaningful change.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
