Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

SMALL CHANGES

Intention, Adaptation, and the Power of Tiny Steps

Change doesn’t have to be seismic to be meaningful. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how small shifts—physical, emotional, relational—can lead to lasting transformation when approached with intention and grace.

Change is an interesting topic. Change comes in all shapes and sizes.

A group that I belong to is thinking of changing its dues. A family member has changed jobs. A child has gone off to college with all the myriad changes that come along with that. My body is changing as I grow older. The people in my old neighborhood are dying. That is a momentous change!

Change comes in so many ways. When I let myself focus on change, I experience it all around me. It is as simple as changing my clothes each morning and as complicated as grieving the loss of a friend.

Science tells us that our bodies are in a constant state of change. Our weight can fluctuate from day to day. We are supposed to drink eight 8 oz. glasses of water a day and depending on whether you are diligent about that or not, your weight can jump around. I got tired of counting glasses, so I found a pitcher to hold it all and I drink until it is gone. Of course, that is most days because I am not perfect. Sleep varies from day to day. The recommendation for adults is 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Again, a good goal is eight. In my work, I have learned that very few adults hit this target consistently and the lack of a good sleep routine is the cause. If you fall in this category, then I would suggest that you make a change and experiment with a pattern or routine that you can use consistently to induce sleep.

Relationships change over time. When we fall in love and are mesmerized by our mate, we cannot imagine anything ever changing that. We fail to realize that our brains are programmed to make us stupid for a brief period so that we do fall in love, mate, and keep humanity going through reproduction. Our brains then lift the fog and enable us to do multiple assessments of our mate. And, as humans, we can always find room for improvement… in the other!

We have a harder time finding room for improvement in ourselves. Why is that? We know we are not perfect, but assessing the flaws seems to be hard. Once assessed, making the change seems to be harder. Once on the path to change, we encounter roadblocks. Once through the roadblocks, we tend to slow our pace since we have used so much energy to get this far. ‘Change is possible at any age.’ Ok, you have heard it, but executing it is another story. Change requires intention. One step at a time is the mantra. When you master the art of keeping it small, then change will happen.

Want to explore how small habits build emotional resilience? Visit Caritas Behavioral Health’s guide to small shifts and emotional resilience, Mayo Clinic’s article on small changes and stress management, and Brussels Mindfulness’ insights on tiny habits and big impact.

If you’re navigating change and seeking clarity, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and intentional growth.