Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Small Changes

SMALL CHANGES

Intention, Adaptation, and the Power of Tiny Steps

Change doesn’t have to be seismic to be meaningful. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how small shifts—physical, emotional, relational—can lead to lasting transformation when approached with intention and grace.

Change is an interesting topic. Change comes in all shapes and sizes.

A group that I belong to is thinking of changing its dues. A family member has changed jobs. A child has gone off to college with all the myriad changes that come along with that. My body is changing as I grow older. The people in my old neighborhood are dying. That is a momentous change!

Change comes in so many ways. When I let myself focus on change, I experience it all around me. It is as simple as changing my clothes each morning and as complicated as grieving the loss of a friend.

Science tells us that our bodies are in a constant state of change. Our weight can fluctuate from day to day. We are supposed to drink eight 8 oz. glasses of water a day and depending on whether you are diligent about that or not, your weight can jump around. I got tired of counting glasses, so I found a pitcher to hold it all and I drink until it is gone. Of course, that is most days because I am not perfect. Sleep varies from day to day. The recommendation for adults is 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Again, a good goal is eight. In my work, I have learned that very few adults hit this target consistently and the lack of a good sleep routine is the cause. If you fall in this category, then I would suggest that you make a change and experiment with a pattern or routine that you can use consistently to induce sleep.

Relationships change over time. When we fall in love and are mesmerized by our mate, we cannot imagine anything ever changing that. We fail to realize that our brains are programmed to make us stupid for a brief period so that we do fall in love, mate, and keep humanity going through reproduction. Our brains then lift the fog and enable us to do multiple assessments of our mate. And, as humans, we can always find room for improvement… in the other!

We have a harder time finding room for improvement in ourselves. Why is that? We know we are not perfect, but assessing the flaws seems to be hard. Once assessed, making the change seems to be harder. Once on the path to change, we encounter roadblocks. Once through the roadblocks, we tend to slow our pace since we have used so much energy to get this far. ‘Change is possible at any age.’ Ok, you have heard it, but executing it is another story. Change requires intention. One step at a time is the mantra. When you master the art of keeping it small, then change will happen.

Want to explore how small habits build emotional resilience? Visit Caritas Behavioral Health’s guide to small shifts and emotional resilience, Mayo Clinic’s article on small changes and stress management, and Brussels Mindfulness’ insights on tiny habits and big impact.

If you’re navigating change and seeking clarity, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and intentional growth.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

Father and daughter reading on National Hugging Day about a connected gray whale surfacing in the Atlantic Ocean, symbolizing emotional anchors, fathers in adoption, Truth About Parenting, struggling emotionally. parenting triggers and memory in Maryland and DC.

Parenting Triggers | How Your Past Shapes Your Reactions Today

Why Your Strongest Reactions Often Come From Parenting Triggers What if the moments that trigger you most as a parent are not really about your child? What if they are connected to something much older, something still active from your own experience? In this conversation on Rediscovering Childhood with Mireia
Read My Post
A person sitting in a tree thanks to the nice weather on a hot day, symbolizing emotional connection and a sense of belonging in Maryland and DC

Hot

HOT Fire, Climate, and the Longing for Cool Heat isn’t just a temperature—it’s a memory, a warning, and a longing. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores our fascination with fire, the discomfort of rising temperatures, and the emotional imprint of climate change on everyday life. Remember when
Read My Post
An emotional woman camping and relaxing next to daffodils blooming beside a butterfly bush on a high visibility day, symbolizing seasonal expectations, renewal and emotional reflection in Maryland and DC.

Expectations

How Summer and Expectations Shaped Our Childhood, and Still Shapes Us Now I remember the night before our family left for summer vacation. Everything was packed and stowed in the car. The back seat was fitted with blow‑up mattresses folded into the wells so the kids had a place to
Read My Post
Woman lying in a field in summer, symbolizing renewal and emotional growth and memory and meaning in Maryland and DC.

It’s Summer

Summer Is The Season of Freedom, Memory, and the Chance to Begin Again Remember when you were a kid and school was just about to end? Looking forward to summer was a thrill. NO MORE SCHOOL! You did not have to get up early. You did not have to run
Read My Post