Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

SEX DIFFERENCES

Exploring Emotional Developmental and Expression Patterns Across Genders

Why do men and women express emotions so differently? For families and individuals in Maryland and DC, understanding the roots of emotional development can help us challenge stereotypes and foster healthier relationships. This post explores early behavioral differences, cultural influences, and the enduring nature-versus-nurture debate.

Why is there such a difference in men’s and women’s emotional expression? One would think that their humanness would account for more similarities than differences. Also, if you disregard the genitalia, they come into the world looking remarkably similar. How many dozens of times have you cooed or remarked about a baby in a public place and then asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?” The difference is not obvious. So, when do these differences lead to drastically different emotional expressions from each sex?

The infant tradition used to be to dress them in pink or blue. Pink was for girls; blue was for boys. Now, however, Moms seem to have abandoned that tradition, and you find infants in a myriad of colors and patterns, so we can no longer depend on infant clothing for the clue. And no one is going to shout, “Show me your genitals”. Still, the research tells us that behavioral differences are evident by 3 months of age.

Yes, I said 3 months of age! One must wonder if this is a genetic program that at three months, the brain is required to make a momentous change so that children are forever sent on different paths depending on their sex. We know that the three-month mark is a biological milestone called “mini-puberty”. Around this time, the brain goes into hyperdrive in the production of testosterone, and this is associated with a growth spurt in brain development for both sexes. The testosterone serves as a magic boost for brain growth. We also know that at this same 3-month marker, mothers are observed paying more emotional attention to their girls than their boys. The puzzle at this developmental time is the report that emotional expressiveness in boys’ changes at the same time. Are we looking at a natural division or a nurturing difference? The same old question keeps popping up: Nature or Nurture?

Well, I do not think we have to answer that question, per se. However, knowing these facts can help us to accept a broader range of emotional expressions from infant boys. I wonder what would happen if we accepted that boys feel the same emotions as girls? Could we provide equal doses of comfort regardless of their sex?

If you’re exploring emotional development or gender dynamics in your family, therapy can offer insight and support. Learn more about therapy for adults and families in DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional expression across all identities. For further reading, see Gender Differences in Emotional Expression.