Having Patience in Winter and How Focusing Outside Yourself Helps the Season Move Along
If you are anything like me, winter has overstayed its welcome. The cold, the gray, the endless waiting for signs of life, none of it feels inspiring when you’re craving warmth and color.
If you are like me, you are sick of winter. When the sun comes out, I am crawling around the garden looking for signs of life. Come on! I am not a snow bunny. I do not ski. I put away my ice skates decades ago. Ice storms are not good for making snowballs, and I have no one to compete with in a snowball fight anyway. Come on! Where are the signs of spring that I need?
I may be having a bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder. As humans, we really do need sunlight, and our bodies and brains function better when nourished by it. That is why some people have replaced all their light bulbs with natural light bulbs. Light bulbs can mimic sunlight. They are known as full‑spectrum light bulbs and are a great solution for maintaining a healthy mood through the winter months. Go on. Change every bulb in the house.
Since you have to be inside for longer periods and you have now changed all the light bulbs, what is next? How you spend your time is critical. What do you nurture? Yep. Caring for something is actually healthy. Focusing outside of ourselves helps our brains be more creative and reduces stress. So, what are you caring about?
Me? I am caring for you! I write this blog as an act of caring.
You may be caring for a pet. Cats are self‑sustaining. Dogs need to be walked. Iguanas need places to climb. Turtles need a pond. Whatever your favorite, caring for something else is healthy for us. You might also be caring for a collection of plants. The point is to focus on something outside yourself. When you do this, you are exercising your brain.
Your brain needs exercise to stay healthy. Focusing outside yourself, setting expectations, and even taking on obligations are healthy. Perhaps you have an elderly parent you visit regularly or a collection of African violets that need attention each week. The exact object of your focus is not as important as having the focus itself.
We are born connected to another, and we spend our lives seeking connection. Being connected to caring for something or someone outside of ourselves is an important part of keeping us healthy.
The winter can go faster when you focus outside of yourself.
Want to explore more about mood, connection, and the psychology of seasonal change? Visit Psychology Today’s reflections on emotional well‑being and Greater Good’s research on connection and resilience.
If winter feels heavy or isolating, therapy can help you reconnect with purpose and emotional steadiness. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support grounding and emotional health.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst