This Is What Emotionally Disconnected Boys Need Most
Boys are not “too much.” They are too often misunderstood. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how boys experience emotion, why their emotional lives are frequently misread, and how caregivers can support them with clarity and compassion.
Boys are often labeled as too much or difficult when what they are really asking for is emotional understanding.
I recently joined host Lisa Urbanski on the podcast Rewire & Rise: Healing in Real Time for an important conversation about how boys experience emotion, why that emotional range often gets misunderstood, and how parents and caregivers can support boys without shutting them down.
With nearly fifty years of experience as a psychologist working with boys, men, couples, and families, I have seen how early emotional messages shape a boy’s sense of safety, connection, and self‑worth. When boys are told to stop crying or toughen up, they do not lose their feelings. They lose permission to express them.
In this episode, we explore how emotional development in boys is often unintentionally disrupted by cultural expectations, overscheduling, and constant screen exposure—and what healthy emotional support actually looks like.
In this conversation, we explore:
- Why telling boys to stop crying teaches them it is not safe to feel
- How boys often show a broader emotional range than we expect, and why that matters
- How overscheduling and screen time reduce social and emotional growth
- What healthy emotional development in boys truly looks like
- How to support men’s emotions without fixing, defending, or shutting them down
- Five practical parenting shifts that help boys connect, communicate, and thrive
This conversation is about seeing boys more clearly and responding to what they actually need—not what we have been taught to expect from them. It is about creating emotional safety early, so boys can grow into men who know how to feel, relate, and connect.
🎧 Listen to the full episode:
Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Stop Shutting Down Their Feelings
Rewire & Rise: Healing in Real Time
Want to explore more about boys’ emotional development and how to nurture emotional safety? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on boys and emotional growth and Greater Good’s research on emotional resilience in children.
If this conversation resonates with your experience raising or caring for boys, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional development, connection, and resilience.
Warmly,
Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst
Psychologist
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst