Understanding Emotional Intelligence in Boys and Creating Safety Across Generations
Many grandparents step into parenting roles unexpectedly, carrying both deep love and quiet concern. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection highlights how grandparents can support boys’ emotional development with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
Hello,
Many grandparents find themselves raising grandsons without ever expecting to start over. Along with the love and devotion often comes a quiet worry. Why is he so angry, withdrawn, or overwhelmed, and how do I help without repeating the patterns I was raised with?
This week, I joined Laura Brazan on the podcast Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity for a meaningful conversation about how boys develop emotionally and how grandparents can play a powerful role in shaping their emotional future.
With fifty years of experience as a psychologist working with boys, men, couples, and families, I have seen how often emotional pain shows up in boys as behavior, physical complaints, or silence. These are not problems to discipline away. They are messages asking to be understood.
In this episode, we focus specifically on grandparents raising grandsons, often while managing grief, trauma, limited resources, and exhaustion of their own.
In this conversation, we explore:
- Why boys struggle to express emotion and how that struggle can turn into anger, shutdown, or physical symptoms
- How generational patterns of emotional silence get passed down—and how to gently interrupt them
- The Three Rs framework—Read, Reflect, Respond—and how it helps boys build emotional vocabulary and resilience
- How to decode behavior as communication rather than defiance
- Why emotional pain often shows up in the body when boys do not have words
- How grandparents can foster connection without relying on punishment or lectures
- Simple, practical strategies that work even when energy and time are limited
This is a conversation about moving beyond discipline and control and toward safety, understanding, and emotional fluency. It is about helping boys grow into men who can feel, communicate, and connect, even when their early lives have been marked by adversity.
Most importantly, it is a reminder that it is never too late to create meaningful change. Your presence matters more than perfection.
🎧 Listen to the full episode:
Building Emotional Intelligence in Boys and Men
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity
January 26, 2026
Want to explore more about boys’ emotional development and intergenerational healing? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on boys’ emotional development and Greater Good’s research on how caregivers support emotional resilience.
If this conversation resonates with your experience as a grandparent or caregiver, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional growth, connection, and healing across generations.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
