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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

CAN’T SLEEP?

CAN’T SLEEP?

Why Sleep Routines Matter—For Children and Adults Alike

Sleep is essential for physical and emotional health, yet many struggle to get enough of it. For families in Maryland and DC, this post explores how early sleep routines shape lifelong habits, and how intentional rituals can help both children and adults find rest.

Our bodies need sleep for a variety of reasons: development, energy conservation, brain waste clearance, modulation of immune responses, cognition, performance, vigilance, disease, and psychological state. That is quite a list. In fact, that is intimidating enough to keep you awake!

Think of everything that is going on in your body while you sleep. Yet, many of you have trouble falling asleep and cannot figure out why. One would think that this is a simple task. Lie down. Close your eyes. Count sheep. Remember the mattress commercial that had all those sheep jumping over fences? Seems simple enough.

Sleep training takes place very early in life. If you have children, you remember this process vividly. You feed the baby, rock the baby, and gently put the baby in the bassinet. Voila! Well, almost. For some parents this process is easy, and the baby cooperates. For others, this process is its own nightmare followed by various attempts, conversations with the relatives, and feelings of utter failure. Each of us has our own story.

Helping your child find a sleep routine is important. The key here is routine. Children benefit from repetition. The order of events is not as important as the fact that there is an order: a ritual that can be depended on. There are only a few don’ts: no screens at least one hour before bedtime, no overstimulation prior to bedtime, and no conflict prior to bedtime. There are some really important do’s: do the same thing every time in the same order, do spend time so that your child feels your attention and interest, do relax and expect your child to cooperate, do calming activities, do make it special for you and your child.

Here is a simple example: start with a bath because they probably need one and good conversations happen; keep the same hygiene routine of tooth brushing, hair brushing, etc.; talk, read a story, sing a song; have a special way of saying good night; leave!

Your child does not have to fall asleep. A mistake that many parents make is that they stay until the child falls asleep. That teaches a child that they must have you nearby to fall asleep. Your message should be that you are a grown-up, and you now need time off from being a parent. They do not have to fall asleep. They do have to stay in their bed so that you can have time to yourself, time with your partner, time to work or play or just do nothing.

Sleep training is an important responsibility and can serve your child for a lifetime. You would be surprised how comforting it is to have a routine that leads to sleep regardless of how old you are!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If sleep struggles are affecting your family, therapy can help. Explore therapy for adults and families in DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support healthy sleep routines and emotional wellness. For practical tips, see Restful Solutions’ guide to things to do when you can’t sleep.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

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