TO BE SEEN COMPLETELY
Parts, Puzzles, and the Power of Self-Awareness
We are not one thing—we are many. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how self-awareness and emotional integration allow us to be seen completely, and why understanding our inner parts is essential to personal growth.
I love talking to friends who are transparent. Now, you might think that this means being able to see through them, but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about being with friends who can see themselves and share the various parts of themselves.
Sometimes, I think of one’s personality as a jigsaw puzzle, full of many parts of different sizes and shapes, colored in shades and hues that are attractive and not yet truly solid and able to fit together to form a whole person.
I like doing jigsaw puzzles. I especially like the ones you find in beach houses when you go on vacation. They tend to be complex with a thousand pieces. I suppose they chose those because if you spend a week or two at the beach, you need a distraction sometimes and the jigsaw puzzle is the perfect fit. You can leave it on the coffee table for long periods. You can still put drinks and bowls of chips on it. You can come and go at all times of the day, and it will be there waiting for you. You can work on it alone or with a collection of others. And when it is done, you can feel a sense of pride regardless of the number of pieces you added. I know a guy who used to put a piece in his pocket so he could always put in the last piece!
A critical theory in mental health demonstrates that we are each made up of many parts. Instead of being one person, we can be viewed as many persons with specific and different personalities that have been formed over time based on our life experiences. We can have child parts that are fearful or adventurous. We can have older controlling parts that try to keep us in line or gain oversight to protect us from fears. We can have teenage parts that spur us to adventure and risk. We can have injured parts that have been abused or frightened. If you reflect on your experiences, you can recognize these parts of yourself. I encourage you to take some time to reflect on your own experiences and see if you can identify these different parts within you. It’s a journey of self-discovery that can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and your actions.
My shy part developed in a large, raucous family where getting attention was difficult. Being quiet and staying in the background was a safe place to be. Pushing to gain attention or status at the dinner table was tough, so watching the show was much safer. I also have this authoritarian part. As I have studied a subject and gained mastery, I want to present that part to colleagues. I can get pretty animated and loud to give that part space.
Reflect on your various parts and how they have evolved. We all have many parts. Those voices in your head that guide you or take charge in different situations are all parts of you. Understanding their development and roles is crucial. If we are honest, there are parts we would like to change and some we would like to eliminate. But remember, the power of personal growth lies in understanding and accepting all parts of yourself. This empowerment is within your reach if you are willing to take the risk to get to know these parts and uncover their origins.
Want to explore how self-awareness and internal parts support emotional growth? Visit Psychology Today’s guide to building self-awareness, Loving Life’s examples of self-awareness for growth, and Lotus Theory’s insights on self-awareness and emotional integration.
If you’re reflecting on identity, emotional complexity, or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and wholeness.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
