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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Waiting

WAITING

Time, Patience, and the Hidden Gift of Pause

Waiting isn’t just idle time—it’s a mirror of modern life. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how waiting shapes our routines, reveals our values, and offers unexpected opportunities for growth.

Do you ever wonder how much of your life you devote to waiting? Of course, you do not think of this as a devotion. There is the obvious piece of waiting in line. We do that in many places: the grocery store, the movie theater, the ticket counter, the boarding pass nightmare. Most of us adjust and accept these pieces of life as usual and necessary. Realistically, they are. I see no other way to check out my groceries when the store is busy. Even the self-checkout can have a line! Besides, I could never figure out that machine anyway. I prefer to chat with the cashier.

Then there is the parental responsibility where you wait in the carpool line with your big block number in the corner of the windshield so the monitor on the curb can match your car with the right child. A parent’s life is full of waiting. You take your child to the gymnastics place and wait on the benches or watch the multiple screens showing children in different classes practicing their moves and bouncing on different equipment. You pray that yours does not come out with broken bones or defeated emotions. Or when they do make an emergency trip to the hospital, you wait in the hall on those wretched benches while the surgeon puts your child back together, and you hope for the news of complete repair.

Because you can now look anything up on the internet, I searched for the answer to how many hours we spend waiting. Wait for it! In 2023, adults spent 113 hours waiting over one year. Consider an 8-hour workday, and you spend two weeks waiting in line. On the one hand, you might think this is okay. After all, you must get groceries, go to the doctor, fly home for holidays, see an occasional movie in person, and attend at least one sporting event. Maybe waiting is not so bad. However, the survey gives us the average overall waiting time. If your children are under 16 years old and not yet driving, waiting is close to triple that. A sports practice is at least two hours; if your child is on a travel team, forget it. Calculating your waiting time would be futile.

What do you do with this time? If you think of this time as a gift and not a curse, you can use it productively. Even the time in the grocery store line can be productive. The television ad touting the app to make you an expert in any language that you choose could be a great benefit. Instead of playing some mind-numbing game on your phone, pull up one of the language apps. Think of it. With 113 hours devoted to learning French, Spanish, or Portuguese, you would have to become fluent.

Your phone makes so many things accessible. Want to learn how to fix a toilet? YouTube has numerous videos. Want to learn how to play dominoes? Yep. YouTube to the rescue. Or have you always said that you will read the classics when you retire? You guessed it. Your phone can bring the classics to you no matter what line you are standing in. Why use your phone to play Candy Crush when you could be mastering a language or expanding your knowledge?

Want to explore how waiting time can be transformed into productivity? Visit Lean Outside the Box’s guide to eliminating waiting waste, Adastra’s insights on waiting waste and sustainability, and Errol Allen Consulting’s strategies for monitoring wait times.

If you’re reflecting on time, patience, or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and purposeful living.

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