Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Reflection, Brilliance, and the Value of Connection

As the year closes, reflection becomes a ritual. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this piece explores why humans pause to review, how our early brilliance shapes us, and why transparent friendships are worth holding onto.

A Year in Review… How long has this been a tradition? People stop to reflect and review the year. Some will write about their experiences. Some will contemplate and feel the year in their body or soul. Some will gather with friends or colleagues to take a serious dive into evaluating the ups and downs of the past year. Some will avoid the topic altogether.

What is it about us as humans that drives this need to review, and by reviewing to learn, assess, and plan for the next year? We are thoughtful. We are careful. We strive to grow, develop, and improve.

As infants, we are hungry to absorb the world around us. Our survival depends on reading the signals in the environment and making snap decisions on what is safe and what is dangerous. Infants are brilliant. Think of it. We were all brilliant in the beginning. We know exactly how to read the world around us, and we do it well. Feed us, clothe us appropriately for the weather, and put us in a cardboard box outside the fire station, and we will scream our heads off. We know immediately that we have been abandoned. We read the environment perfectly.

I often say that if you are going to build a company and want to know who is trustworthy as partners, find a baby. Pass a baby around the room. The baby will read the room perfectly. Partner with the person that the baby gazes at comfortably. Hire the person that the baby fidgets with, they are trainable. Stay away from the person who causes the baby to fuss, they are dangerous and will take advantage of you or betray you. Babies are brilliant.

As we age, we lose that brilliance. Some of us maintain a degree of insight and can make sound judgments about who is safe and who is dangerous. Many of us lose that capability and find partners who are not a good fit and friends we have to monitor carefully, sharing only pieces of ourselves. Finding that transparent partner who can accept all of us, the good and the bad, is a rare find.

I hope that you have found friends who can be transparent with you and stick by you no matter what. Hold onto those people. Their value will only increase over the years. Remember that you were born brilliant and you can still access that brilliance. As you age, it just becomes a bit harder to see.

Want to explore more about reflection and growth? Visit Psychology Today’s article on the value of year-end reflection and Greater Good’s guide to how reflection builds wisdom and connection.

If you’re reflecting on the past year and planning for growth ahead, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and emotional growth.