Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

BABIES SEE THE REAL YOU

Empathy, Intuition, and the Emotional Genius of Infants

Before they speak, they sense. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how babies intuitively read emotional cues, and how empathy is not learned—it’s inherited, nurtured, and expressed in the smallest gestures.

I have written before about a newborn’s ability to sense safety, which is clearly a way of “seeing the real you”. This early sense is about their survival instinct. Today, I want to talk about their “intuition”. Babies, or shall we say toddlers, have the ability to feel another person’s emotions. At about the time that they start to move around on their own and gain the ability to access others, they also develop the ability to “read the room”. We call this empathy or insight. Toddlers can accurately read the emotional signals that the adult sends out and develop emotions that are reactive to those feelings. They connect with others by experiencing the adult’s emotions in a smaller way. We do this with our friends as well. When a friend shares a moment of grief or a moment of joy, we automatically recall a similar experience that we have had. So, how do infants and toddlers do this? Isn’t their range of personal experiences pretty limited or circumspect? They don’t travel around independently or have extensive friend experiences that would build such a database. It is not like they could think: “Oh, I remember stubbing my toe too, and that really hurt.” What is going on? These small beings appear to be brilliant.

Think about the meaning of this. Empathy is natural. We come programmed to develop empathy for others. About the time that we are learning to move around on our own, which will naturally give us more access to other people, we are also developing the capacity for empathy. Wow! That is a mind-blowing piece. God designed this brain to be able to “see” others accurately right at the time that we can begin to interact with others on our own! I am impressed! If you watch carefully, you will see this at the park, on the playground, and in daycare. Toddlers “see” others and offer emotional support and care. I remember one little girl in a preschool setting running around the playground and bumping into a little boy playing with trucks. She knocked him over and could have kept going. But, I watched her stop and help him up. Neither said anything. They didn’t have to. The act in itself was the message.

How often do we stop to pick someone else up? When did you last have the opportunity? Did you take it? Or did you keep walking? Empathy is programmed into us. It comes with our DNA.

Want to explore how babies perceive emotions and develop empathy? Visit NeuroLaunch’s guide to baby empathy and mirror neurons, Parenting Science’s research on infant emotional contagion, and Psychology Today’s insights into emotional development in infancy.

If you’re reflecting on emotional connection, parenting, or intuitive development, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational growth.