Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

MAKING BETTER BAD CHOICES

Growth, Reflection, and the Wisdom of Mistakes

“Making better bad choices” may sound like a punchline, but it’s actually a powerful framework for growth. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how missteps, when examined with honesty and curiosity, can become stepping stones toward emotional resilience and personal evolution.

This phrase is all over the Internet and it just makes me laugh. At the same time, this is such a good idea. Anyone on the path to growth can be found making better bad choices. That is how each of us grows! When I think about this for myself and my clients, I see how it fits. Every bad choice helps us to do better the next time. If you pay attention, real progress and growth are possible! If we do not pay attention, we are doomed to repeat those bad choices.

Stop and reflect on your bad choices. I know that often we just want to move on and sweep these bad choices away. However, these bad choices are rich in information, detail, and guidance. What is the last bad choice that you made? Perhaps you are on a diet and decided to get a Big Mac from the drive-through or thought that the Grande White Mocha from Starbucks was a necessary treat. Perhaps you bought that cute skirt even though you could not afford it and did not need it. Maybe you had one more beer before you drove home, even though you knew you would be over the limit. Oh, there are all sorts of bad choices we can make. If we really spent a day paying attention, we would be surprised.

How did you feel after those bad choices? Was your reflection helpful? Often, we need to make a wrong turn to find the right way. When we make bad choices, the challenge is to accept that we are human, which means flawed. We are not perfect, and we will never be perfect. We are people who can grow, change and learn. That is our real strength!

Making bad choices is an essential part of growth. The choices themselves may not be the “bad” part. Not learning from the choice is the “bad part”. We must make mistakes to learn to take risks and develop new skills. Think of the toddler. What if this character never took the risk of pulling up on furniture and falling, dragging the doily and little china figurines with him?

Taking risks and learning how to recalibrate is an important part of growth. Every successful person has their stories of tragedy and failure. So, keep going. Keep “making better bad choices”.

If you’re ready to turn missteps into momentum, therapy can help. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional growth and self-reflection. For practical strategies, visit Develop Good Habits’ 7-step guide to learning from mistakes, Psychology Today’s leadership insights on supporting growth through error, and Growth Tactics’ tips for maximizing learning from mistakes.