Skip to content

Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

LEARNING FROM THE BUTTERFLY

LEARNING FROM THE BUTTERFLY

Memory, Metamorphosis, and the Lessons We Carry

Butterflies don’t just transform—they remember. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how metamorphosis mirrors emotional growth, and how memory becomes a bridge between past and present, even in the smallest of creatures.

Butterflies are beautiful. They come in assorted colors and sizes, and they are great fun to watch. Butterflies belong to the insect order called Lepidoptera. Moths get included in this group as well. Lepidoptera means “scaly wings” in Greek. The Monarch butterfly has a migration path that takes them through Cape May, New Jersey. Every year, people come from miles around to be present for this migration. The bushes in every yard are covered with butterflies. Sometimes, if you stay still, they will land on you. Experiencing this close is a marvel.

I had the privilege of experiencing this phenomenon several years ago and would encourage you to go. Cape May is a cute small town with some old hotels along the beach that are inviting and comfortable. The beach is a flat sandy strip that seems to go on for miles. If you like long walks, you will be delighted. This east coast location is perfectly situated as the stopping place for hundreds of species of birds. Birdwatchers from all over come here in the late summer and early fall to take advantage of watching more than four hundred species of migrating birds.

The migration of the Monarch Butterflies is equally amazing. The number of butterflies that invade this town is a sight to behold. What I did not realize is that in some ways, these creatures are very much like humans. They transform from caterpillars to butterflies after going through a difficult growth period in a chrysalis. Humans go through a similar process: childhood, puberty and teen years, adulthood. We make dramatic changes as well and come out of the teen years to be quite different people than the children we started as. What I did not realize is that the butterfly retains the memories/experiences of the previous two stages. Butterflies remember being caterpillars—even after metamorphosis.

Holding onto memories is important for a variety of reasons. I want to highlight two of those. First, memories give us context for living. Second, memories give us opportunities for repair. Context enables us to appreciate our history. We know that we carry genetic material from the past three generations. That is a lot of context! Also, when families gather for celebrations, the presence of three generations is common. Being able to tell the stories of three generations is an important part of family tradition. As we experience the stories of three generations, we have a database that enables us to understand where we have come from and why we function the way that we do. The experiences that we have had in various parts of our childhood often need to be repaired. Neglect as infants, shocks as preschoolers, and hurts as middle schoolers and teens can impact our functioning in adulthood. Being able to revisit past hurts and injuries is important. Healing can take place when we can revisit these injuries.

Learning that even butterflies retain memories from when they were crawling along the ground is a welcome surprise. I wonder how many other insects, birds, and animals have similar capabilities. I do not know how they use these memories, but I do know that humans use them for healing and growth.

Want to explore how butterfly metamorphosis mirrors emotional transformation? Visit Insect Lore’s guide to personal change through metamorphosis, Butterfly Bee Garden’s life lessons from butterflies, and Monarch Butterflies’ reflections on imperfection and growth.

If you’re reflecting on memory, transformation, or emotional healing, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and personal renewal.

related blog post by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Read more of my stories and reflections

A woman reading about self-worth and identity after falling for relationship scams, symbolizing garage girl friendship and emotional connection in Maryland and DC.

Scams

SCAMS Vulnerability, Outrage, and the Emotional Cost of Exploitation Scams don’t just steal money—they erode trust, dignity, and emotional safety. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how aging increases vulnerability, why systemic protections fall short, and how outrage can fuel advocacy and healing. What is it about
Read My Post
Childhood joy, reading about Kaleidoscopes, illustrating cooperative co-parenting, integrity, and relationships and the question 'Can It Be Done?' and why children are struggling.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD

Birth, Biology, and the Emotional Gamble of Connection From the moment we enter the world, relationships are both instinctive and unpredictable. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how birth sets the stage for relational complexity, and why emotional attachment is both a biological drive and a lifelong
Read My Post
A woman waiting for her friend while beginning to watch the sunset at the end of the leap year wearing a poodle skirt, symbolizing time, choice, and personal reflection in Maryland and DC.

What Ever Happened to the Poodle Skirt? | Memory, Nostalgia, and Identity

How One Small Memory Can Open the Door to an Entire Era What ever happened to the poodle skirt? Funny how a single memory can suddenly return and open the door to an entire era. In this reflection, I revisit the poodle skirt, sock hops, transistor radios, and the remarkable
Read My Post
Participants engaged in active listening during mediation thinking about while change feels hard during childhood, illustrating brain wiring, Emotional Healing, and mediation skills in online therapy in Maryland and DC.

Your Childhood Wound Is Still Making Decisions for You

Featured Podcast Conversation on The Advisor Hello, I wanted to share a recent podcast conversation I joined on The Advisor with Stacey Chillemi titled Your Childhood Wound Is Still Making Decisions for You. In this episode, we explore how early emotional experiences continue to influence adult life in subtle but
Read My Post