Holidays, Farms, and the Joy of Family Gatherings
Family traditions shape our memories and remind us of what matters most. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the rhythms of farm life, holiday gatherings, and the timeless joy of connection.
This is the time of year when families become the focus. I have recently learned that this is also the high purchase time for alcohol and marijuana products. Apparently, most of us need help spending time with our families.
My extended family was rooted in the ground, making the need for alcohol much less critical. What I mean is that they were farmers. That means that there are really no days off. Each farmer must ensure that his cows are milked twice a day, regardless of the celebration. Do not get me wrong. Farmers have elaborate celebrations with tons of food, games, conversation, and teasing. However, the cows, pigs, and chickens take priority. They have no awareness of holidays. This also meant that the city folk had to travel to the farm for these holidays. If you were a child, this was fun because you could get lost in the hayloft or build forts in the corn crib, and being dirty was acceptable. If you were an adult, there would be complaints about keeping the casserole warm or ensuring that the pie did not fall off the ledge above the back seat. There was also the inevitable story about Uncle Ernest, and I hoped that he did not bring his most recent girlfriend, as they were always ridiculous creatures.
A fascinating thing for a kid is that farm families tend to be big. You have cousins from all over, and the excitement of seeing them on holidays never faded. Competitions of all kinds would be mounted. Tug of war, fastest across the pond, first to sight an eagle, fewest pumps to get the well to work, relay races, and who could down the most yeast rolls inside of a minute. Rummaging in the attic or the hayloft was another fun thing to do. Farmers tend to keep everything. The hayloft held a horse-drawn plow, and the attic room held handmade soap flakes that Grandma had made decades ago. Why would you keep this stuff?
Of course, food was the focus of the day. Everyone had brought something, and the hostess was responsible for the turkey. A giant, giant turkey was required for this group. Beef was also provided, as you could not have a meal on the farm without meat. Someone always made macaroni and cheese. Others brought side dishes and desserts of all varieties. Needless to say, the table was groaning. The conversation was fast and furious. Stories from past generations were always told, and you learned to look forward to the same tales each year.
Want to explore more about family traditions and connection? Visit Psychology Today’s article on the importance of family traditions and Greater Good’s guide to how family rituals build connection.
If you’re reflecting on family, tradition, or ways to deepen connection this season, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, compassion, and emotional growth.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst