Chinese “New Year”
What the Zodiac Teaches Us About Belonging and Vulnerability
Sometimes, the smallest moments, like learning your Chinese zodiac animal, can reveal deeper truths about connection, identity, and the discomfort of not knowing. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection invites us to embrace curiosity and recognize the universal longing to belong.
Ok, ok. I know it is not Chinese New Year. However, I was just thinking about it And, even though it is out of sync, my brain is going there. Trust me, it will make sense.
During the month of Chinese New Year, I had the privilege of being with a group of elementary school children. Oh! To be in elementary school again. I remember so clearly the square brick building with the concrete playground. The teeter-totter was my favorite spot. The thrill of going up and down was worth the bone crushing bump on the tailbone when you struck the concrete on the down stroke. What shocked me as I spent time with these children, and I do mean “shocked me” was that each of them knew their Chinese animal, and I had no clue of my own. How could this be!
Have you ever been in that place where the “other” knew so easily and comfortably the thing that you should have known and did not?
In just that moment, you are isolated. They know, and you do not.
What next?
Of course, I looked up my animal. The Chinese Zodiac calendar rotates in 12-year cycles. So being born in 1946 makes me a “dog”.
Now, I grew up in a family that always had a dog. There are stories of me as a toddler and the Great Dane that lived with our family. The story goes that he would drag everyone around the block on walks, but if I came along and they put the leash in my hand the giant beast would modify his stride to walk along side of me no matter the distraction. Such a powerful sign of protection. The year of the dog stands for; loyalty, sincerity, and honesty. You may already know your animal, or you may look it up. No matter.
The point is that we all have the experience of being with others who know things that we don’t know. A feeling of fear and shame wells up in us. What happens when you feel afraid in this way? Left out of the loop? Less informed than the others? How do you respond?
One of the hardest things for people to do is to acknowledge that they do not know. In that moment, we experience ourselves as “outside” or “other”.
We all long to belong. We want to be connected. We want to know what the others know.
Look up your Chinese New Year animal and let me know!
If moments like these stir feelings of isolation or curiosity, therapy can help you explore them with compassion. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and belonging. For more on Chinese zodiac meanings, visit ChineseNewYear.net.
By Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst
