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Written by Online therapist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D.

Are You at That Age? | On Aging, Choice, and What Truly Fits Your Life

On Aging, Options, and Knowing What Truly Fits Your Life

Yes, you know what I am talking about. There comes a time when you are getting older and looking ahead. You may even find yourself considering an elevator in your house. Have you noticed the TV ads for those round glass elevators that fit into the corner of the living room?

The woman climbing into the elevator is always perfectly fit and trim. She looks like she could run a marathon or climb three flights of stairs without losing her breath. Yet when she steps into the contraption, she fills the entire space and smiles serenely as it rises.

Where is the walker and the older woman bent over it? Where is the wheelchair? Neither of those will fit in the tube. If you can sprint up the stairs, you do not need the elevator. If you rely on a walker or wheelchair, they will not fit. I suppose you could lie on the floor, send the chair up, then crawl into the tube yourself—but you would still be stuck getting back onto your feet.

Alternatively, you might consider condos with spacious elevators, better suited for walkers and grocery carts. These retirement condos look appealing in advertisements: active seniors, abundant amenities, pools, spas, access to doctors and groceries, even in‑unit physical therapy. Entertainment and craft spaces abound. The marketing—like the elevator ads—celebrates an idealized lifestyle, but at least the features match a wider range of needs.

For some, embracing this change is a positive choice. I have a friend who moved and now thrives with her own art studio. Her experience shows that such transitions can be fulfilling.

I know exactly what I would miss: sitting in the sunroom and watching the lively parade of walkers and bike riders passing the house. These daily scenes define what makes this place special to me.

I see fathers helping their children learn to ride a bike, holding a long pole attached to the bicycle seat so they can keep the child upright from a distance as they run behind, calling out, “Slow down.”

There is the inevitable crowd of dog walkers of all ages stopping to let their dogs do their business in the yard. A talented teen manages to ride a unicycle up the steep hill—she must be in excellent shape. And there is the mother from Denmark who pedals her children to school in a large box on the front of her bike. Of all these, I admire her the most.

I cannot see trading this in, even with amenities like the pool, sauna, and multiple restaurants down the hall. My main reason is simple: what I have now suits my needs.

For more reflections on aging, transitions, and emotional well‑being, explore articles on Psychology Today and research from Greater Good Science Center.

If you are navigating a life transition—downsizing, aging in place, or evaluating new options—therapy can help clarify what truly matters. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional clarity, resilience, and grounded decision‑making.

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