Author: Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst

DON’T PUT ME ON A TIMER

Questions, Conditioning, and the Emotional Reflexes We Carry

Timers may measure minutes, but our reactions are shaped by years. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how childhood programming influences our responses, how curiosity can be stifled by fear, and how reclaiming the right to ask questions can unlock emotional freedom.

A friend of mine will soon have surgery and has heard that the surgery will take about an hour. He requests, “Do not wake me up until it ends.” Estimating things is an art. How long will it take? How much will it cost? How will I know? When will it happen? When will it end? What will it be like? We could generate many more questions. Our brains are good at coming up with questions. Remember when you were a toddler? Many of us have memories going back that far, and if you do not have memories of your own, you may have experiences of being with toddlers. They are question machines. And unlike a vending machine, you do not have to prompt them or insert coins at all. They must come preprogrammed with questions.

Questions show our interest as well as our ignorance. Sometimes, we fail to ask questions for fear of showing our ignorance. Gearing up to just let the questions fly is a form of art. Let yourself believe that you have a right to ask. I remember a professor telling the class there were no stupid questions, only stupid people who failed to ask. So, do not be stupid. Give yourself permission to ask. Who knows where that could lead?

I am sure each of you has a personal story related to this concept. The stories range from the simple, such as not noticing that the door opens “in” instead of “out,” to the tragic loss of a friend because you failed to ask, “What’s wrong?”

Think about the last time you wanted to ask a question but did not. Examine how that felt. Remember what happened next. We often avoid asking questions because we have been through something before and expect a repeat of our past experience or because we fear no one will care. Imagine going to an event and sitting down with a friend. As you begin chatting, another person comes along, claims that your seat was supposed to be reserved for her, and asks you to move. First, there is the surprise of being interrupted, then the shock of the request. How do you respond? Your early training kicks in here and will determine the next thirty seconds. If your childhood has been seasoned with bullying and insults, you will defer or bristle and push back. If your childhood has been seasoned with the Southern training of politeness and giving way to power over, you will cede your seat and find another spot.

Our early training pops up with frequency. We have these “little programs” from childhood, and they turn on automatically. Only in hindsight do we find other ways of responding. Our early training is programmed in right/wrong and good/bad endpoints. We call this Concrete Reasoning. In many ways, the name is quite appropriate as our solutions are set in stone, and we react before we can think of an alternative. We are either out of the seat or in a fight immediately. Only in retrospect can we think of various alternatives. Our developmental timer goes off before we can think.

Want to explore how childhood programming shapes adult behavior? Visit iNLP Center’s guide to healing childhood programming and Janet Lansbury’s reflection on timers and child development. For parenting insights, see Huckleberry’s guide to using timers with kids.

If you’re ready to examine your reflexes and rewrite your responses, therapy can help. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and behavioral change.

HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

Friendship, Growth, and the Journey Ahead

Graduation isn’t just a ceremony—it’s a turning point. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the emotional complexity of high school graduation, the shifting nature of friendships, and the bittersweet beauty of moving forward while honoring the past.

Remember this experience? Several families around me are preparing for this event. Caps and gowns are ordered. Practicing walking across the stage in some schools has begun. Proms are scheduled, and many schools have planned elaborate after-parties that will go on until the early morning. A safe venue for graduates to hang out, get silly, and celebrate a milestone is a wonderful idea. Teens are also making plans to go to the beach, the lake, the mountains, or any place where they can get a bit wild and let out the emotions that have been building as high school ends.

It is a bittersweet reality that your friends will scatter across the globe. The familiar connections in the halls, on campus, and in your neighborhoods will now stretch thin, becoming less frequent and often spanning different time zones. One friend might be off to college in Ireland, another to Canada, and a few more to the West Coast. Some have chosen colleges in the Midwest, while others are heading to the Deep South. The map of your friends’ locations resembles a sprawling spider web, a testament to the vastness of the world and the diversity of your friendships.

Perhaps it reminds you of “Charlotte’s Web” by E.B. White. In the story, a friendship is built between a little piglet and a spider in the barn. The spider advocates for saving the pig from becoming pork chops, and they build a loving relationship. Charlotte, the spider, devises a way to save Wilbur from slaughter by making him famous. Her plot is pure genius. Even though they are an unlikely pair, they delight us with schemes and warm our hearts with their care for each other. Many times, our high school friends feel this way, too. We develop a bond that we swear will last a lifetime. Alas, Charlotte, though saving Wilbur, cannot save herself from succumbing to the natural life cycle. Just like some of your high school relationships will also die.

Just like your high school friends will leave, Charlotte must go. Others come to take her place, and new bonds are formed. The same happens as you move from high school to college, where new friends will emerge, and bonds will be formed. Some of us are fortunate to keep a connection or two from high school and carry those friendships forward. Others form strong bonds in college and have periodic reunions with their college friends. Building and rebuilding connections is the pattern of our lives. You marry, and suddenly, your friend group shifts again to include more couples and fewer singles. You have children, and now you are off on big camping trips with several families so the children can be watched by many, and the adults can relax in clumps.

Examine where you are now. Page back to your high school days. Bring those memories forward. If you have your yearbook, drag it out and look through the book and the signatures and notes that classmates left. Reflection is a healthy exercise. Let your curiosity about any of those teens be satisfied. Surely, you can find one or two just by searching the web. When we go back in time, we can validate our history and reflect on how we have come to this current place. Developmentally, high school was the launching pad. Enjoy!

Want to celebrate high school friendships or reconnect with classmates? Explore Friendshipsy’s graduation quotes for high school friends. If graduation is stirring reflection or emotional shifts, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support transitions, identity, and emotional growth.

ARE YOU YOUR OWN CON ARTIST?

Self-Deception, Transparency, and the Courage to Change

Con artists don’t just live in headlines—they sometimes live in our own minds. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how subtle self-deception can keep us stuck, and how transparency, though risky, can lead to emotional clarity and personal growth.

Whoa! Why would I ever imagine that you are a con artist? Those people go around fooling others and taking advantage of them. Bernie Madoff was a con artist, and I am surely not in his category. He took conning others to an art level. Isn’t his name hilarious? He “made off” with so many people’s money for so long! But I am not talking about that kind of deceit. I am talking about self-deception. We tend to have ways of conning ourselves that are subtle and not so pretty or successful. We long for the stable, the predictable, the comfortable. Yet, if we take a step back and look at our lives as they unfold, we will have difficulty finding those elements without noticing the inconvenient, frustrating, irritating, disappointing, and yes, deceptive.

We tend to call the deceptive “little white lies”. How often have you told someone that you are not available for lunch or that you are not feeling well and will catch them next time? Oh, now you know what I am talking about. We all struggle to be transparent. Why do we want to protect ourselves so much? What would happen if we were transparent?

“Susan, we have hung out together for a long time, and in the course of that time, I have changed and grown, and you have stayed the same. I must make a change and am not interested in our weekly chats anymore.”

Wow, would that blow you away? Or would that open space for you? Space that you could use to be more productive, or more social, or more relaxed. Being transparent is hard. It comes with risks. And it also comes with rewards. My friend Susan has a choice: she can accept some modification to our friendship. It does not have to end. It just must change. Or she can walk away from the friendship, which may not be my intent, or my need. I just can’t spend 2 hours a week listening to the same stories and providing the same empathy.

Change is risky. But if you stay in that rut, you are conning yourself and your friend.

Want to explore the psychology of self-deception and emotional honesty? Visit Psychology Today’s guide to self-deception, Inc.com’s breakdown of why we believe lies, and Truity’s article on emotional manipulation and transparency.

If you’re ready to stop conning yourself and start living with clarity, therapy can help. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional honesty and personal transformation.

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MY TEEN NEEDS COUNSELING

Respecting Resistance, Reframing Support, and Rebuilding Connection

When a teen refuses therapy, it’s not the end of the road—it’s an invitation to shift the approach. For families in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how parental involvement, emotional respect, and therapeutic modeling can open the door to healing, even when teens say “no.”

I have received calls from parents with that message on several different occasions. The next sentence is: “My teen is refusing to speak to someone. What do I do?”

Let us look at the situation. Mom and/or Dad have identified a problem and generated a solution. This sounds perfectly normal and rational. If your teen has a fever, you call the doctor and report the symptom to get help. If your teen breaks a bone, you call the ambulance and take a ride to the hospital. Your teen is isolating, acting out, constantly nervous, sad, you call a therapist and say that your teen needs therapy. You are, of course, correct; however, your teen is refusing to go to therapy. Unless your teen is suicidal, there is no ambulance for emotional symptoms that interfere with successful functioning.

Most parents in this situation try to “force feed” therapy or bribe their teen into therapy. I get the emotional intensity that the parent feels. They are afraid, and they have good reason to be afraid. In 2022, 14 out of every 100,000 teens committed suicide. While that statistic may be considered small as a number: .01 percent. I would say that no percentage of teen suicides is acceptable. Teens are just beginning to explore their personalities and how they fit in the world. We want all of them to complete the experiment and find their place.

At the same time, we want to respect where they are emotionally. If we teach them to “just say no” to drugs, alcohol, and unprotected sex, shouldn’t we be able to respect their “no thank you” to therapy? Now, yes, I am a therapist. I know that therapy is effective and that in some cases it is critical and necessary, and in those cases the person should be hospitalized to receive proper treatment.
I also know that respecting the adolescent’s “no” is important. So, what am I advising?

When your adolescent needs treatment and is refusing to go that is the time for the parents, both parents, to put themselves in therapy with a competent and well-trained therapist who has a strong history of helping adolescents. That therapist will be able to guide the parents in modifying their parenting and examining what they are doing that contributes to the emotional distress of their teen. As the parents change, I have seen the teens open-up to the idea of using therapy for themselves.

Want to learn more about how parental involvement can support teen therapy? Explore Katy Counseling’s guide to the role of parents in teen counseling, Collier Psychological Services’ strategies for effective support, and Eddins Counseling Group’s guide to teen therapy.

If you’re navigating resistance or want to model emotional growth for your teen, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support family healing and adolescent development.

GRAY WHALE

Extinction, Passage, and the Power of Memory

When a gray whale swims into the Atlantic after centuries of absence, it’s more than a biological anomaly—it’s a metaphor for resilience, rediscovery, and the emotional journeys we all undertake. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how unexpected returns—whether of whales or memories—can stir healing and transformation.

Did you see the excitement on the news over the Gray Whale spotted swimming in the Atlantic? This whale was thought to be extinct in the Atlantic and rare in the Pacific. Imagine! Extinct means gone! Dead! Disappeared! Nada! Then suddenly, there it is, swimming leisurely in the waters of the Atlantic. Where has this guy been? How did this whale get to the Atlantic? Thanks to global warming and the melting of the polar ice cap, scientists believe that it could have come through the Northwest Passage, which previously would only have been accessible to a submarine.

The first submarine to travel this path had to go deep under the ice with the fear that a way back to the surface may not have been found. Imagine that experience! Or have you already had that experience? Our lives can sometimes take us into deep, dark places where we question whether we will surface again. Losses can put us under the sea. A friend of mine recently gave a speech about her loss of a child. Just hearing the story came close to putting me under the sea, and she lived it. The loss of a child shakes us to the core. This is not the way that life is supposed to go.

The natural path of life is to be born, cared for, released to be on our own, grow up, grow old, and then leave. That is the natural order of things. When that natural order is disturbed, we are thrown off course. Some manage to find a new passage, and some are lost forever. That new passage may take many different forms. We hear on the news about parents who have lost a child and started a charity to help other families with similar problems. We see scholarships dedicated to others who have been lost or memorials established as reminders of those we love.

Remembering those we have loved is powerful and important. That person may be a part of your family, a friend that you depended on, or a colleague that you truly admired. Memories are powerful. They can give us comfort. They can spur us to action. They can surround us with love.

Who are the ones that you have lost? How do you honor them? In what way are they swimming back into the present and stirring you to act? You may not have traversed the North Pole, but the loss you have experienced has shaken you to the core. Honoring that loss is important. Recently, I helped a family honor the loss of a loved one. When we lose someone we love, we need to process that loss. This can be an exceedingly challenging task. I asked the family to collect things that reminded them of their attachment and place those things together in a prominent place in the house. They chose a small table in the front hall. One by one, they brought things to place on the table: pictures, rocks collected on a hike, a wooden spoon, and old birthday cards.

As the collection grew, their conversations grew as well. The pain of loss was being replaced by the stories of engagement, prowess, and silliness. A healing process was unfolding.

Want to learn more about the gray whale’s return to the Atlantic? Read about the recent sighting near Nantucket in ABC News.

If you’re navigating grief or seeking ways to honor someone you’ve lost, therapy can help. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support healing, remembrance, and emotional resilience.

BODY OF WORK

Resilience, Reflection, and the Legacy You’re Building

Your “Body of Work” isn’t reserved for the famous—it’s the sum of your choices, relationships, and contributions. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how your BOW (Body of Work) shapes your legacy, tests your resilience, and invites you to grow through both strength and surrender.

Do you realize that each of you has a “Body of Work”? We tend to think that only famous people have Bodies of Work: books, poems, inventions, discoveries. However, the truth is that each and every one of us is building a “Body of Work” every day. Now is the time to take responsibility for yours. You have a body of work in your profession, even if that is staying home and caring for your family. You have a body of work in your community. How will your neighbors talk about you, share their understanding of who you are, and remember you when you move? You have a body of work in your social interactions outside of your community. When people encounter you in the larger world, how will they share those encounters?

In the current world of acronyms your “Body of Work” is your BOW. Now, depending on the pronunciation, we can go in one of two directions. Let us start with the one that describes the front of a boat. The bow is upfront and takes the lead, which also means that it takes the brunt of the forces the boat is encountering. What forces are you encountering? How are you “taking” them? The bow is designed to cut through these forces and carry the boat forward in search of better places. When you encounter waves of challenge, pushback, and confrontation, I hope your bow can face them with dignity, security, and fortitude.

Now let us look at a different definition: Bow… to yield or bend. What happens to you in relationships when you are placed in the position of bending to the other? When you must yield on the highway, you do it with ease and grace. When you must yield in a relationship, the pause to wait and the deference to the other does not seem so easy. Discerning when to bow and when to fight can be exceedingly difficult. Yet, we are capable of it. At the same time, the emotion that tends to flood us is often a powerful resistance, as though we will be completely swept away if we bend. We should be more aware of our resilience in these moments and recognize that in discerning when to bend, we are gaining an opportunity to examine ourselves more closely. Personal growth comes from knowing when to stand strong and when to step aside. Both are valuable.

Want to explore how your personal growth contributes to resilience? Visit Aspire Atlas’s 12 strategies for building resilience and Psychology Today’s guide to unlocking resilience. For workplace insights, see PositivePsychology.com’s overview of resilience at work.

If you’re ready to shape your Body of Work with intention, therapy can help. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional clarity, resilience, and legacy-building.

WHAT IS SPRING?

Renewal, Reflection, and the Courage to Begin Again

Spring isn’t just a season—it’s a metaphor for growth, courage, and transformation. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how spring’s beauty inspires new beginnings, especially for those returning to school and revisiting the emotional terrain of their educational past.

On the East Coast of the United States, spring is a glorious season. Here, in the nation’s Capital, we have a special treat as we anticipate and enjoy the hundreds of Cherry Trees planted along the Tidal Basin. People come from miles away to experience the blossoms of these trees. Cameras are clicking away, brides are posing under the luscious pink blossoms, and children are picking petals off the ground.

Spring is a glorious time of renewal and hope. The anticipation is exciting. The blossoms are a perfect light pink, and the carpet of petals that they leave is elegant.

Spring is a time of renewal and growth. Even if you cannot see a blooming cherry tree in your yard, the season is intended to spark your imagination leading to new plans for the future. What are you planning? Some of my clients are planning weddings. That is exciting! Some of my clients are contemplating going back to school and changing careers. That is a challenge, and I admire their bravery. I think returning to academics as an adult is an act of bravery. School is a completely different structure from work. Your brain must do some new things that it has not done in a long while. You must put yourself in the position of less than as you dive into new concepts and ideas. Studying is a whole different form of work, and sometimes, the old anxieties from earlier schooling can return with a vengeance.

I admire these new students and support their return to the classroom. We all have memories of school as a child. Like it or not, when we put ourselves back into the classroom, these old memories are bound to appear. Were you the class clown or the head of the class? Were you lost in some classes and comfortable in others? Was studying fun for you or the very thing that you dreaded? Like it or not, these memories come marching out of your brain and demand to be revisited. We spend 12 to 16 years in a classroom. That is a pretty big chunk of time. When we choose to return as an adult, that history will come back to life. So, you are not only enrolling in classes as an adult, you will also be revisiting classroom experiences from that 12 to 16-year period. Here is the place for the Scout motto: Be Prepared.

Preparing to return to school as an adult is more than buying the text or saving time to be on Zoom. You must also prepare for your earlier history to come jumping out when you least expect it. So, let’s get ahead of this. Take time to review your earlier history of being in school. I mean, go as far back as you can. Remember being dropped off at preschool? Remember the best friend in elementary school who dropped you with the transition to middle school? Or perhaps you are still friends with your elementary buddy. Call them and talk about this new adventure that you are about to start. Were you a successful student, or did you have challenges?

Trust me, all of these pieces of history will come flooding or creeping into your current experience. Welcome them as they will help you grow. Go fishing for them to take advantage of the feeling states that come to mind. Spring into this new adventure with the awareness that your history can either help you or hurt you. Decide to use your history rather than letting it overwhelm you. Talk about your early experiences and decide how you want to relate to them. Anticipate how your history will put its mark on the present.

For more on spring as a season of renewal, visit Twinkl’s guide to spring for kids and Garden & Allotment’s ultimate guide to spring. If you’re returning to school, explore Achievement House’s springtime renewal blog and Hopkins Medicine’s tips for returning to school.

If spring is stirring something new in you, therapy can help you explore it. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or discover therapeutic approaches that support emotional renewal and personal growth.

YOUR FEMUR, REALLY!

Compassion, Civilization, and the Bone That Changed Everything

What if the true beginning of civilization wasn’t the wheel, but a healed bone? For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the anthropological story behind the femur, the power of care, and the emotional roots of human connection.

Your femur is that long bone inside your thigh that goes from your hip joint to your knee joint and is critical in all aspects of walking, running, dancing, etc. Of course, all your bones are important and have evolved for specific purposes. However, the femur has a very special place in the history of man.

According to a widely shared anecdote attributed to Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, the femur marks the beginning of civilization. What do I mean by civilization? I mean the presence of relationship and the ability to care for another in a way that keeps us connected. As humans, we learn to care for one another. If you thought it was natural, then just keep reading. Caring is not automatic. We learn to care.

Now if you had asked me what is the best mark of the beginning of civilization, I would have said the wheel. So many things change with the wheel. People and goods can move faster and travel farther. Transport can go for a longer time. All types of terrain can be conquered. Heavy goods can be brought into place for building. Wouldn’t you think that the wheel is a better choice than a bone?

Of course, it isn’t the bone itself. The key is what happened to it at some point in time. In the early history of man, when a person broke their femur, they could not walk and would be left behind to die of starvation or be eaten by whatever animal happened by. The hunter with the broken femur would die where they lay. That vulnerability to wild beasts, other humans, and the elements of nature was a sign of the organization of the culture. If no one cared to protect you, then relationship did not exist.

Margaret Mead is said to have held up a healed femur in a lecture and explained that such healing was never found in competitive, savage societies. The healed bone showed that someone must have cared for the injured person—hunted on their behalf, brought them food, and served them at personal sacrifice. That caring, she said, was the first sign of civilization.

For whom do you care? When you break your femur, who will carry you to safety, provide the splint, bring you food and water, and keep watch over you?

Our ability to care about another has not always been present. When I think about that truth, I am both curious and awed. Who cared for that person with the broken femur? What was their relationship? Why did the one take such care of the other? What can we learn from realizing that care was not always a part of being human? And then the more gruesome thought: could we ever return to that primitive sense of abandoning the wounded and not caring about what happens to them?

Want to explore the origins of this story? Read Quote Investigator’s deep dive into the healed femur anecdote and SAPIENS’ analysis of its anthropological significance. For a broader look at compassion in human evolution, visit Psychology Today’s Compassion Chronicles.

If you’re reflecting on care, connection, or emotional resilience, therapy can help. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational growth.

INNER LIFE

Reflection, Resilience, and the Power of Self-Awareness

Our inner life is more than a quiet space—it’s the foundation of emotional clarity, personal growth, and authentic living. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how introspection and self-awareness shape well-being, and how a simple 5-minute practice can unlock deeper insight and resilience.

Inner life, also referred to as our internal world of thoughts, emotions, and experiences, is an intricate system that plays a crucial role in shaping overall well-being and happiness. Although external aspects such as our career, relationships, and material possessions often garner more focus, our inner lives hold the power to truly transform and enrich our existence.

Let’s examine the significance of cultivating an expansive and rewarding inner life and its impact on mental and emotional health, relationships, and personal growth. Let’s explore key strategies to unlock our inner potential and live more fulfilling lives. Our inner life has profound effects on well-being and happiness!

Inner life exploration, through introspection, contemplation, and self-reflection practices is an incredible yet often unexplored element of human experience. By connecting to ourselves through various methods such as introspection, contemplation, and self-reflection, we gain access to our inner worlds revealing the deepest desires, beliefs, ideas, and emotions that shape who we are; uncovering these treasures opens doors into personal narratives that dramatically affect psychological wellbeing and quality of life.

An exploration of our inner lives requires us to take a close and thorough examination of ourselves as individuals. Most people are so used to living on the surface; communicating, performing tasks, making decisions, and interacting with others that we rarely allow ourselves the time or space to explore deeply into ourselves and examine values, aspirations, dreams, fears, perspectives on life that make up who we truly are.

Inner life is at the core of everything we think and feel. Here lies our innermost desires and dreams, which we cannot speak out loud; here lies our authentic selves unaffected by social pressure or expectations; here lies the source of all decisions made, relationships formed, interpretation of external events experienced, etc. All of this serves to direct the direction and purpose of our lives.

Recognizing and understanding our deep-seated thoughts and emotions can lead to a more fulfilling existence. By connecting to our inner life, we connect to ourselves—discovering passions, purposes, and potential that lie hidden deep within. When we connect to ourselves directly, we become more authentic, aware, and alive—becoming capable of creating lives that reflect who we truly are.

As we explore our inner lives, we may also release emotional baggage, accept ourselves more fully, and develop emotional resilience. Recognizing and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and desires may reduce anxiety and depression while increasing internal locus of control—thus contributing to overall mental well-being and personal fulfillment.

So, how do we do this? I would suggest the 5-minute mile. That means take 5 minutes once a day and set it aside for you to focus and reflect. You can do this in any place, any posture, and any part of the day. Three “Ps”

At the end of this 5-minute journey, write down what you experienced and what happened in the 5 minutes. YES, I have now asked you to do more than 5 minutes.

Got me.

At its core, our inner lives are complex and intertwined parts of ourselves that are formed through various experiences, beliefs, and emotions, and we now know that experiences of past generations can also be programmed in our genes. That makes us very complicated. So, a 5-minute investment could be really valuable.

Give it a try. Let me know how it works.

Want to deepen your introspection practice? Explore PositivePsychology.com’s guide to introspection and self-reflection or read LIMBD’s seven science-based reasons introspection matters. For a personal empowerment perspective, visit She Rises Studios’ article on introspection as a path to empowerment.

If you’re ready to explore your inner life with support, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight, resilience, and personal growth.

DAFFODILS

Spring’s Trumpet, Garden Magic, and Butterfly Migration

Daffodils may seem simple, but they’re part of a vast and vibrant family. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the beauty of daffodil varieties, the joy of public gardens, and the awe-inspiring migration of Monarch butterflies—each a reminder of nature’s rhythm and resilience.

Did you know that there are 13 different classes of daffodils? Not me. Of course, I am familiar with the big yellow ones that come up in the early spring. We have a bunch of those that rise from the pachysandra that we have planted around the Japanese Cherry tree. These yellow beauties stand tall, and their trumpet shape seems to be announcing the beginning of spring. If you listen closely, you can hear them heralding this coming season. And we have branched out into the two-colored ones with white cups and yellow petals. What I did not know is that there are other classes of daffodils and a wide range of colors and sizes.

A master gardener would have a collection covering all the species and hybrids. Plant people are fascinating. If I planted just a few of each variety my flower bed would be overflowing. Time to dig up some more grass! Gardens are powerful. There are so many things that you can put in a garden.

A few miles away, we have a delightful public garden. The pathways wind through flowering trees and arbors by the rose gardens and across small streams where the waterlilies are bobbing around. Then, the path sweeps out into the sun and makes a wide pass around the pond where waterlilies delight with their serene floating and surprising blooms. The grass sweeps forward drawing you into a narrow path between the bamboo. The swishing sounds as you pass through the bamboo open to an enclosure filled with flamingos. Imagine 30, 40, or more flamingos wandering around. As you pass the flamingos, you head into a rose arbor and rows and rows of various roses of beautiful colors of pinks, yellows, and reds. The walk through this treasure of a garden is mesmerizing. The butterfly bushes at the end of the path remind me that I, too, want to plant a butterfly bush!

I want the butterflies to find my garden and entertain me with their brightly colored wings and delicate presence. They entice me to sit and watch as they flit from place to place. They are migrating soon and filling up for the long trip. The Monarch butterflies are of special interest as I think they travel the farthest. From my garden just outside of Washington, DC, they will fly to the southernmost part of Mexico. Each year, a new generation of Monarchs will make the trip of thousands of miles to the same forest in the southern part of Mexico. How does this work? Somehow, the memory passes from one generation to the next. The migration is magical!

Want to explore daffodil varieties? Visit the Brooklyn Botanic Garden’s guide to daffodil divisions. Curious about butterfly migration? Learn more from Wikipedia’s overview of Lepidoptera migration and Smithsonian Magazine’s article on tracking butterflies through pollen.

If you’re reflecting on seasonal change, personal growth, or the beauty of nature, therapy can help you connect those insights to your emotional journey. Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that support emotional clarity and renewal.