Author: Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst

BACK POUNDING

Touch, Masculinity, and the Unspoken Rules of Connection

Sometimes a pat says more than a hug. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how male touch is shaped by social conditioning, and how back pounding reveals deeper discomfort with vulnerability and emotional intimacy.

I am not talking about backaches. I am talking about watching two men embrace and pound each other on the back as though both need to dislodge something caught in their throats. What is going on? Why this modified Heimlich maneuver as a greeting of intimacy or connection? Are they choking? Is touching another male so dangerous? What does this “habit” portend? The men pounding each other are experiencing a foreboding, a fear that this touch is in some way hazardous or lethal! How is it possible that the person you are greeting with intimacy can also bring up a sense of terror?

Are men choking? Well, we could answer this in two separate ways. No, you are not experiencing your throat close and threatening your airway. You constrict your muscles as a natural reaction to fear, and your throat may close a bit. When we embrace another person, our body reacts with changes in our gut. The impact of a warm, loving touch is designed to be positive for our body and our mood. The tactile experience of being embraced releases oxytocin, a “feel-good” hormone in the brain. A bundle of nerves called c-tactile afferents generate feelings of well-being and pleasure. At the same time, men resist the embrace and thus send counter signals to the brain that they may be in danger of being overcome and need to be cautious and self-protective.

The man’s body is denying him the chemical benefit of loving touch. Now, you may say that this makes perfect sense because men are designed to fight and protect, aren’t they? So, body contact with another male should be met with caution. Well, if you accept this explanation, then you have just made men the dumbest creatures on the planet by implying that they cannot discern positive attention from lethal attacks. So, back to the drawing board! The back pounding is not about personal protection. It is about social expectations. We train men to deny their need for touch and comfort, and we start that training in early childhood.

Go to the local playground and watch the interaction between adults and children. The little girl with tears flowing will be picked up and asked what happened. The little boy with tears flowing will be asked what happened, and if his explanation is “good enough,” he will be picked up and comforted, but most of the time, he will be sent back into the arena of play without receiving physical comfort. Every time I see this, I want to shake the adult and explain that the boy deserves comfort! He is human! Pick him up and comfort him before sending him back to play.

Want to explore how platonic touch and masculinity intersect? Visit Dr. Cuddles’ guide to platonic touch and emotional connection, Psychreg’s overview of physical touch and emotional well-being, and Talkafeels’ reflections on back-touching and vulnerability.

If you’re reflecting on emotional expression, gender norms, or relational healing, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and connection.

SNAIL MAIL

Paper, Patience, and the Power of Connection

Snail mail isn’t slow—it’s deliberate. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how handwritten letters preserve emotional depth, and why the art of letter writing remains a timeless act of love and legacy.

What is the origin of this phrase? Fortunately, you can find about anything on the internet. A brief search results in noting that the term was first used in 1942 in the Lowell Sun newspaper in Lowell, Massachusetts. However, the phrase was reversed to “mail snail” to reference the office person who was slow to respond. Real popularity hit in the 1990s when email took over, and messages could be sent quickly and easily via a computer. The reference, of course, is to the slower pace of moving messages within the office or through the US Post Office.

When you remember that messages were first delivered on foot and the significant advance was the Pony Express, you appreciate that email is a game changer. One day, I suppose we will have an implant in the brain to receive other people’s messages and thoughts. Yikes! That sounds awful. What if you could hear my thoughts? You like my earrings, and I think, wow, I bought those at a flea market in downtown Baltimore, and I wonder if you think I am cheap. Could you hear that thought? Or you ask why I did not show up to the last Church Board meeting, and I say I was busy when, in fact, I was watching “Zulu” for the umpteenth time and wanted to finish it. Yikes. What havoc will artificial intelligence wreak?

Recently, I have become a bigger fan of snail mail. I use it to send thank you notes and birthday cards and get well soon cards. I like finding a card in my stack of mail and figure that others like that too. There is something about holding the actual paper that is just plain satisfying. My granddaughters have had this habit from early childhood of making cards for birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. The cards are always creative and magical. I hope they never stop. I sometimes imagine that when they have their children, they will make homemade birthday cards for them, too! Traditions like that are essential.

When was the last time you sent a note, letter, or thank you to someone you value? Receiving real mail and holding the letter or card as you read the sentiment is a treat. Those that we love need to be honored in this way. I hope that the post office continues to deliver real cards and letters. However, I will say that the volume of catalogs and solicitations can be overwhelming. Those I could do without!

Whether you are snail mail or email enthusiasts, communicating with those you love and respect is essential. Often, we hear of family members finding boxes of letters when clearing out a loved one’s home after they have passed. These old letters are a treasure. Reading the notes passed between high school sweethearts, the letters cherished from men sent off to war, or the advice from grandparents to grandchildren heading off into the real world means bringing yourself face to face with the intimate connections of those we love. Letter writing used to be the only way of communicating long distance. I hope that this art is never lost.

Want to explore the emotional and historical value of snail mail? Visit Captain Mail’s reflections on the lost magic of snail mail, Unity’s guide to handwritten gratitude, and Live Laugh Rowe’s tribute to snail mail as a lost art.

If you’re reflecting on connection, tradition, or emotional expression, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational healing.

IF YOU ARE EXPECTING A BOY…

Tradition, Transformation, and the Future of Gender Roles

Blue confetti may still fly, but the meaning behind it is evolving. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how gender expectations are shifting, and how raising boys today means rethinking what masculinity truly looks like.

The cannon going off in blue instead of pink is the most popular announcement. We are expecting a boy! Historically, boys would grow up to take on more responsibility in society than girls. Therefore, celebrations that favor boys make sense historically. However, given more recent changes in society, this tradition should begin to fade. Celebrating life, whether it be male or female, is important. We want to continue the family line.

Remember in elementary school when the art teacher showed you how to make a family tree? The drawing and coloring were fun, but more important was the research. Mom and Dad would tell stories about relatives going back generations. “Where was Cousin Ernest?” was a favorite in my mother’s family. The facts were not important because each time the story was told, Cousin Ernest seemed more lost, more in trouble, or more foolish. Trust me, no one else in the family tree was named Ernest! As you learned about your family history and placed the family apples on the tree, you developed a sense of pride in yourself and your family’s legacy.

What are your favorite stories from your family history?
Boys have always featured prominently in these stories. That trend is in the process of shifting as women take on more roles that were previously reserved for men. Look at women’s basketball! A league that started in 1996 has landed on prime-time television, and the competition is fierce. Women are leaders in industry, government, the military, entertainment, and sports. Their traditional role in the family is changing as well. Men are electing to stay home and care for the children, a role once reserved for women and often a source of shame for men. Today, you will even find men’s support groups focused on raising children.

Traditional gender roles for adults are shifting, and previous boundaries are being crossed. Biology no longer defines or limits the roles that either gender can assume. As this happens, what needs to change in how we raise boys and girls to prepare them for a more gender-neutral adulthood? Are the gender roles of the past determined by genetics or by society? Even if they are naturally ingrained, can they be changed? Would making gender roles more flexible be a good thing or a bad thing? These questions form the basis of discussion in various groups. Where do you stand? What will be the long-term effects of a more gender-neutral society?

Could childrearing help men retain the full range of feelings they were born with? What would be the social impact of such a trend?

These are all good questions, and I hope society has an opportunity to answer them all.

Want to explore how gender expectations shape boys and young men? Visit Psychology Today’s guide to gender expectations and emotional development, Simply Psychology’s breakdown of gender socialization, and Counseling Today’s insights on masculinity and mental health.

If you’re reflecting on parenting, gender roles, or emotional development, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and family wellness.

END OF THE YEAR

Reflection, Intention, and the Power of Personal Agency

The calendar may turn, but transformation begins within. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how year-end rituals invite clarity, gratitude, and intentional planning for a future shaped by choice.

As November and December play out heading to the end of the year, celebrations of all kinds are happening. We focus on being grateful for the brave souls who crossed an ocean and risked their lives to start a new country. We are focused on faiths of all kinds, honoring our spiritual histories, and pausing to examine the meaning of life itself. When we approach the year’s end, we commit ourselves to new beginnings and better ways of being present with others.

In this season of reflection, be intentional about taking time to reflect on your past year. December is a suitable time to find a comfortable spot and sit quietly with pen and paper. Look at your past year. What stands out to you? Positive and negative. Where have you been? Who have you spent time with? Look at how you have invested yourself over the past year and examine the impact. Some of you have invested in your children and grandchildren. Some of you have spent time with friends and colleagues. People’s interactions can be a blessing or a challenge. Reflect on how you have functioned with others, and think about what you want to repeat, what you want to change, and what you want to add for the future. People are our most precious assets.

In this season of reflection, be intentional about taking time to plan your year. The good news is that you get to choose how this coming year will go. Of course, you cannot select all the parts, but you can choose many. You have time, energy, and resources. Be intentional about how you want to invest in each of these. Examine how you have spent your time in the past year. I am sure you had ideas and dreams about what you wanted to experience. Do not just dream about them. Make real plans. See that aging aunt in Idaho. Take that flight to Iceland to experience the Northern Lights. Stop talking about what you want to do and where you will go and make actual plans—volunteer at the soup kitchen. Spend time in the NICU holding babies.

The next year of your life will be filled with your choices, whether intentional or not. The question is, will these choices be intentional? So many times, we move through our day, our week, our year without intention. We talk about having goals. I want to lose weight and keep it off so that movement becomes easier. There are clear directions on how to do that. I need to follow them. I want to spend time with friends and have meaningful conversations. They would welcome that. I need to call them. I want to practice my instrument to make the music light and easy. I need to take the time in my day and do it.

We are coming to the end of the year. The new year is just around the corner. I have agency in many parts of my life. If I sat with a pad of paper and a pen, I could be clear about areas of my life where I have agency. I could take myself seriously. The new year is ahead; I can fill the pad with specific plans and goals.

Want to explore structured ways to reflect and plan your year? Visit Savvy Sparrow’s printable end-of-year reflection worksheet, Productive Fish’s guide to year-end reflection and planning, and Psychology Today’s questions for closing the year and preparing for the next.

If you’re reflecting on personal growth, intention, or emotional clarity, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and life-stage transformation.

BASKETBALL FOR ALL

Driveways, Dynasties, and the Rise of Gender Equity

Basketball isn’t just a sport—it’s a shared language. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how childhood games and collegiate icons reveal the evolving landscape of gender equity in sports.

I recently wrote a post about Men’s Basketball and my sister chastised me for not highlighting Women’s Basketball as well. Basketball is finally a sport for men and women. Actually, I was reminded that it always has been when you look at the “home” court.

I remember the basketball hoop above the garage door. Our garage was in the alley at the end of the property, so there was plenty of space to play ball and shoot hoops. HORSE was a favorite game of all the neighbors. You could shoot from any angle and distance with space in the alley. The contests were intense and sometimes severe. We were all competitive, and that certainly describes the kids in our neighborhood. We could set up all kinds of competitions but none better than HORSE.

If you are not familiar with the game, it is pretty easy. Each team shoots in turn, and each basket counts as a letter in the word HORSE. The team that completes the spelling first is the winner. Of course, this sounds simple. However, like all parts of life, the task is not simple.

First, you must realize that everyone else is watching you. Half of them are holding their breath not to break your concentration, and the other half are shouting insults! What kind of a game is this?! It’s pretty fun because when the other team has a turn, you insult them! What kid does not enjoy exchanging an insult or two? This was all genuine fun, and our boundaries were respected most of the time. A new kid in the neighborhood might have to be corralled, but only once.

As a kid, both the boys and the girls competed together. You might think that the boys dominated, but that was not necessarily so. Many of the girls were great shots. Today, as I surf the channels for basketball, I will also find girls and guys on competitive teams. The girls are equally passionate and equally talented. Since I live in the Maryland/DC area, following the Maryland Terrapins is easy, and you must admire their coach, Brenda Frese. As their head coach since 2002, she is an icon. I wonder why a professional team did not snatch her up long ago. Her teams have a history of success and dominance. Also, I can see that she respects these students and encourages their potential.

As a teen, I was a member of the cheering block. Remember the group that sat in the bleachers and cheered their heads off? We also wore weird shirts. The front was gold colored, and the back was black…our school colors, of course! With this flexibility, we could spell out things or create one giant letter to symbolize our team. That was a blast, except for being hoarse the next day.

Cheering for your favorite team is a blast.

Want to explore how basketball is advancing gender equity? Visit National Geographic’s history of women’s basketball and equity, The Ubyssey’s coverage of gender equality in North American basketball, and Feminist Campus’ guide to the WNBA’s fight for equality.

If you’re reflecting on sports, gender roles, or community connection, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and social wellness.

AWARENESS

Presence, Curiosity, and the Mindful Mirror of Technology

Awareness isn’t just noticing—it’s choosing how to respond. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how awareness shapes our relationships, our learning, and our evolving dance with artificial intelligence.

We are all familiar with this word. However, have you ever really stopped to figure out what it truly means? The police caution us to be aware of our surroundings. Our friends wonder if we are aware of something that is happening in the social group. Our spiritual guides want us to be mindful of other dimensions beyond ourselves. The neighborhood naturalist wants us to know about the flora and fauna and how we care for other creatures. The full-length mirror in my bedroom wants me to be aware of how I look. My colleagues want me to be mindful of my impact on others. My mother, if she were still here, would want me to be aware of my language and what I am eating.

Awareness is a state of being. Mahatma Gandhi has a quote that illustrates awareness for me: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” If you were to die tomorrow, what would today look like? Your first thought might be that you would eat as much ice cream as you could. However, your next thought will go to the connections that you have made with others. You will want to be with those you love and spend time connecting, remembering, and advising. You will want to laugh and cry. Would you pick up a book to learn one last thing? How much time do you devote to learning in your current living state? Are you curious about a variety of areas of life and knowledge? Do you challenge yourself to investigate new concepts such as Artificial Intelligence? Let awareness inspire your curiosity and drive your quest for knowledge, including understanding the implications of AI on human interactions.

Artificial Intelligence, or AI, is everywhere. When I draft an email, the AI highlights better phrasing or catches misspelled words. This thing is fast, too. I must admit that I have relaxed into it and appreciate the errors it quickly catches. However, I am not sure I know what will happen next or where this intelligence is leading. Robots in fast food places that man the fryer can save humans from grease burns and provide a financial break for the store owner, leading to more profits. And, yes, I have seen the clips where robots learn to play soccer. However, I cannot imagine going to the stadium or the ice rink to watch a bunch of robots engage in a sport. But that is where this innovation will lead. In the future, AI is expected to revolutionize various industries, from healthcare to transportation, and even create new job opportunities in fields we can’t yet imagine.

Want to explore how mindfulness enhances awareness in the age of AI? Visit IOSM’s guide to mindfulness and ethical AI, DailyHuman’s overview of mindful AI development, and Mindful Institute’s reflections on mindfulness in an AI future.

If you’re reflecting on awareness, technology, or emotional presence, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and mindful living.

MUSIC

Memory, Meaning, and the Soundtrack of the Mind

Music doesn’t just echo—it imprints. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how melodies become emotional bookmarks, and how the brain’s vast musical archive reveals the depth of our lived experience.

Recently, I have been waking up with a song in my head. The tune can vary widely. Today, it was an early nursery rhyme tune. Other days, it has been rock ‘n roll from the sixties or classical pieces. The sheer diversity of these tunes, all stored in my brain, is a wonder. And it is not just me—your brain has a similar library. The question that lingers is, where does it keep all this? The brain, it seems, holds onto everything. Now, I am left pondering if there is a discernible pattern or reason for when it retrieves items from its vast storage locker. I wonder what I have been doing recently that generates this look back into music I have enjoyed. I am challenging myself to learn a new instrument and perhaps that is what my brain is focused on. Yet, what message is it trying to send or emphasize by resurrecting these old tunes? And why has my brain stored all this old music?

I belong to an organization with a storage unit that keeps old records. Recently, the group had to get a larger unit as we ran out of space. This prompted a review and purging of old records. Do we need the minutes from every meeting known to man or woman? When someone decided to keep the fancy napkins from luncheons two decades ago, do we honor that choice? Or what about the collection of hats that the instructor wore to each early luncheon? You can see where I am going here. The storage locker is growing, but my brain has limited space. Though certain sci-fi movies show aliens with expanded odd-shaped heads, I cannot expand my skull. Remember the ‘Coneheads’ skits and films? Saturday Night Live had fun with them, and State Farm used them for an ad campaign. We can always keep buying bigger storage units for our junk and stuff, but my skull will not allow my brain to grow bigger. This realization leads me to a profound respect for my brain’s storage capacity.

All my experiences are stored somewhere in my brain, and the reality of that statement is formidable in the true sense of the word. Someday, we may be able to access that storage unit at will. Right now, we must be content with what our brain throws out in dreams or at odd times throughout the day. I have settled on being curious and fascinated with what my brain presents. It seems to wander through various life stages, topics, and experiences. Right now, I must accept what it chooses to throw in my path. Of course, I could go fishing for specific associations but there is no guarantee that my brain will open on command. Right now, I will accept being intrigued by the songs that appear in the morning or the scenes that float by at night.

Want to explore how music connects memory, emotion, and cognition? Visit Psych Central’s guide to music and emotional processing, APA’s podcast on music, memory, and imagination, and Biology Insights’ overview of music imagery and brain function.

If you’re reflecting on creativity, emotional memory, or personal growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and creative renewal.

KALEIDOSCOPE

Perspective, Complexity, and the Beauty of Change

Life isn’t static—it’s a shifting mosaic. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how the kaleidoscope becomes a metaphor for emotional complexity, personal growth, and the power of perspective.

Do you remember this marvelous toy? I remember receiving one of these for a birthday when I was maybe 10 years old and how fascinating this tube was. Of course, as a child, I got this cardboard tube filled at one end with colorful crystals that you could hear rolling around as you turned the collar and viewed the changing color combinations through the other end. This is often a metaphor for life itself.

We look from one perspective or angle, yet the reality is more complex, colorful, and changeable than we can imagine. Each of our worlds is complex. We have childhood histories, relationship histories, internal experiences, hopes, dreams, and challenges. Our world, internally and externally, is complex. Some of us embrace the complexity and dive into it as interesting or fascinating. Others get trapped in the bits and pieces of odd shapes and sharp corners. Where are you?

Life is complex. Life has always been complex. Just think of the beginning of this story. You come into the world with no ability to feed yourself, clothe yourself, or clearly communicate your needs. YIKES! That is some beginning. Interfacing with the world around us is necessary for survival. How we do that, even in infancy, is enormously important. We are dependent creatures, and as we grow, others become dependent on us. We are truly a collection of colorful pieces and parts that can be interesting and attractive or sharp and blinding. How are you approaching your life? How are you experiencing the world around you? Every moment of the day, we make choices that influence how we experience the world. Take one day and pay close attention to the numerous choices that you make.

You have more options than you may think. The picture that you see can change. Just turn the collar on the tube.

Want to explore how kaleidoscope symbolism reflects emotional complexity and transformation? Visit The Mindful Word’s metaphorical guide to the kaleidoscope of mind, EC Blog’s deep dive into kaleidoscope symbolism across cultures, and Forbes’ reflection on perspective and personal growth.

If you’re reflecting on complexity, perspective, or emotional transformation, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and life-stage renewal.

GOOD COMMUNICATION

Connection, Clarity, and the Courage to Speak

Communication isn’t just a skill—it’s a lifeline. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how emotional health depends on honest expression, and how learning to speak up is an act of self-respect and relational care.

We are dependent on communication with others. If we do not communicate well with others, we tend to withdraw, feel depressed, and isolate ourselves. We are truly social beings, and we crave connection with others. Even shy and withdrawn, we still need connections to maintain our identity.

Poor communication can damage our health. When we avoid communicating our needs and wants, we unknowingly hold tension in our bodies, which can lead to a variety of problems. This tension is a physical manifestation of our emotional state. Our muscles contract slightly, changing our posture, comfort, and bodily orientation. Our bodies are not designed to maintain tension for extended periods. We ‘hold things in’ to our own detriment.

We have not been well trained on how to communicate with others. Think about your habits. When something “bugs” you, how long do you wait before you let the other person know? How do you communicate your experience? Here is what is expected: When you do not like the action of another, you complain to yourself, then you complain to someone else, and then you think that that has given you relief, and you avoid talking to the person who is bugging you. This avoidance is detrimental to both mental and physical health.

Effective communication is risk-savvy. Figure out what you need to share. Look at the relationship with the person you need to talk to. Choose the time and place for effective communication. Think through your story. Share with the expectation that you will be heard and honored and that the two of you will be able to find common ground, respect each other, and generate a new way of communicating. Too often, we fear our needs will not be met and avoid thinking through how to communicate what we need. We do ourselves a disservice, and we do the other a disservice as well.

Honest communication will bring us closer together as we gain clarity on how the other feels, how they experience us, and how we experience them. I think that one of the reasons we avoid honest communication about our needs is that we grow up in families where the parents have not been well trained on how to communicate with young children. We tend not to take children seriously, think their needs carry minimal weight in the face of all adult responsibilities, and set their communications aside. Children are genuinely transparent and deserve to have their voices heard. Problem-solving with a child can be very satisfying. When you were a child, the experience of not being taken seriously can have long-lasting consequences.

Take yourself seriously. Consider how you feel, what you want to say, and what outcome you would like. Prepare to advocate for yourself. That means thinking through the communication, selecting the time and place, and being confident that your request is reasonable. Effective communication is how you value yourself.

Want to explore how communication supports emotional health? Visit Methodist Health’s guide to communication and mental health, Verywell Mind’s overview of mindful communication, and Positive Psychology’s techniques for fostering healthy communication.

If you’re reflecting on communication, boundaries, or emotional clarity, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational growth.

THE PARTY LINE

Connection, Courtesy, and the Lost Art of Waiting

Before smartphones, there was shared silence. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how party lines taught patience, cooperation, and emotional intelligence—lessons we still need in our hyper-connected world.

Anything can be fixed with good communication. I grew up in the era of party lines for the telephone. For those of you who do not know what that means, I will explain. In the forties and beyond, telephone lines were shared among several households, and real people sat at switchboards in specific locations to facilitate these calls as necessary. The phones themselves were large contraptions that you hung on the wall or sat on a table or telephone stand that had a small chair attached. You would commonly pick up the receiver and find a conversation between two other people. You either hung up quickly and waited a while before trying again, or you asked the current parties how long they would be or told them you had an emergency and needed to use the line. You could not use that last one very often, or you would get completely ignored.

Kids often liked to quietly sneak the receiver off the hook and listen to the conversations. Invariably, they would give themselves away by giggling or snickering. The parties would chastise them and yell at them to get off the line. When you got caught by your parents, you would really be in trouble for breaking the telephone etiquette. Party lines taught you to wait and be patient, courteous to others even if you did not know them, and cede time to others.

The elements of effective communication are illustrated in the party line. One: You were connected to others, even if you did not know them personally. Boy, is that true today! We are connected to and dependent on others for everything. Go to the grocery store. Fruit, vegetables, meat, and cheese are trucked in from various places. Fruit used to come from the orchard in the backyard, vegetables from the garden in the side yard, and meat from the cow in the field. Without the dependence on others that exists today, we could not feed ourselves. Garden spaces are exceedingly rare. Some neighborhoods and high rises have garden plots that you can rent or use, but there would never be enough vegetables if the delivery trucks were not coming to the grocery store.

Second, the party line required cooperation and courtesy. Today, our sense of cooperation is present but often not obvious. We depend on others for many things, but we often do not have direct connections. I know that in my neighborhood, I wave to others as we cross paths, but I rarely know who they really are or have extensive conversations. We are connected by covenants and respect for the streets and properties. We tend to apply our sense of cooperation to organizations beyond our immediate locations by supporting non-profits or volunteering at the soup kitchen. As we build relationships through organizations, we expand our reach beyond our neighborhoods. Helping others takes on a new dimension.

Third, the party line taught us respect and patience. Waiting for others to complete their conversation and taking your turn is never easy, and respecting the needs and timing of others can be difficult. Patience is often difficult, especially with young children. Remember when they wanted to tie their shoes or put their coat on alone? That was hard. You could always do it faster, yet the wait was more respectful.

Want to explore the history and etiquette of party lines? Visit Wikipedia’s overview of party line telephony, Southern Living’s reflections on shared phone lines, and Country Adventures’ list of forgotten party line etiquette rules.

If you’re reflecting on communication, connection, or emotional patience, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and relational growth.