Author: Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst

When Weather Pauses Life, and Opens Possibility

Being snowed in can feel like an interruption, but it can also become an unexpected invitation. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how a forced pause can create space for rest, connection, and small acts of renewal.

This phrase can be used literally or figuratively.

Today, I am literally snowed in. The snow is not deep, but it is topped by a thick ice crust. After the fluffy flakes fell, the air turned icy, sealing the snow beneath. The whole town is encased, making snowplowing tough. Our road, usually cleared in hours, will be plowed late tomorrow. Really late.

This weather is interesting. Teenagers are earning good money shoveling. They break the ice layer first, then remove the pieces before tackling the snow below. They are working hard for their pay.

So, when you are stuck at home for a day or two, what do you do? This pause in normal activities opens new possibilities.

If you have a fireplace, light a fire and nap in front of it. Or read while warming your feet. Or enjoy the fire with family and start a jigsaw puzzle.

If you lack a fireplace, use the kitchen. Snow days are perfect for cooking. Try an old family recipe, make a hearty soup, or bake cookies. Everyone will welcome an apple pie. Surely you have a basket of apples.

If you are ambitious, organize that closet you have been avoiding. With spring events coming, now is the time to clear out clothes. Someone will give them a second life.

I advise against clearing out the attic right now. The snow will melt soon, so starting this project is not timely. The attic is too full to sort through easily unless you are snowed in for an extended period, like being trapped in the Rockies. This storm will not last that long. Get out of the attic.

Want to explore more about rest, reflection, and emotional well‑being during seasonal slowdowns? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on how rest supports emotional health and Greater Good’s research on how small pauses support well‑being.

If this reflection inspires you to embrace stillness, reconnect with comfort, or create emotional grounding during winter’s interruptions, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support resilience, balance, and well‑being.

The Silent Giant Shaping Our Planet’s Future

Ice seems ordinary in daily life, something our refrigerators dispense on command. But for individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores why ice is far more than a household convenience and how its disappearance shapes our shared future.

I do not think we spend much time thinking about ice. The fancy refrigerator now provides it through a chute in the door. We no longer have to scrape it off the freezer walls. If we have a party, we can buy bags of the stuff. But beyond these conveniences, ice plays a much larger role than we tend to realize.

Although we rarely consider it, ice plays a critical role in our planet’s future. Currently, ice covers about ten percent of Earth’s surface, with only twelve percent considered permanent. Seeing glaciers collapse on television may distract us from the significance of this melting, but flooding and climate change are real dangers, as places like Maine are already discovering. The reduction in ice coverage since the last Ice Age demonstrates that change is possible, and our ongoing actions—such as deforestation and the denial of climate science—intensify these risks.

Some maps show the possibility of submerging half of the United States, from Maine to the Rockies. That would make California the place to be, even given the fires and floods. Not a very inviting prospect. These projections highlight just how severe the long‑term effects of ice melt could be for our country.

These are predictions for the future, say around the year 2100. That is about seventy‑five years from now. Clearly, I will not be impacted. My children are unlikely to be around. My grandchildren would have to be living into their hundreds, which is also not very likely. So, dear great‑great‑grandchildren, you are in trouble.

Hmm. I am the great‑great‑grandchild of an English couple, likely living in service and hoping for a way out. I am quite certain that they did not find a way out of service, but that their children probably found a way into the city, and their children found trades, giving them the ability to cross the ocean. Generally, that is how things go.

Unlike generational progress, which is typically upward, our environmental actions reflect a different story. We are not ensuring the planet’s improvement for future generations. This disconnect sits at the heart of the current crisis.

I will propose that we examine motivation—specifically why we value caring for our children and fostering their progress. This desire to advance our children is often celebrated as progress. However, the environment around me does not inspire the same motivation. While I take steps such as not throwing trash from the car, tending to my garden, and keeping city storm drains clear to protect the Chesapeake Bay, these individual actions, though important, are small compared to the broader needs of the planet.

Want to explore more about climate, motivation, and collective responsibility? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on how motivation shapes our actions and Greater Good’s research on how collective action supports well‑being.

If this reflection stirs thoughts about responsibility, legacy, or emotional resilience in the face of global change, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, groundedness, and meaningful action.

SUNSET

Ritual, Reflection, and the Everyday Miracles We Miss

Sunsets aren’t just visual poetry—they’re reminders to pause. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how the awe of nature can inspire gratitude for the quiet gestures that shape our lives.

Anytime we go to the beach, we make time to watch the Sunset. Groups gather on the sand in certain places along the coast to marvel at this beauty. This orange orb sinks slowly into the horizon. As it goes, the colors in the sky run a range of orange and yellows, sometimes mixed with blue and purple. The sight is exciting. You can feel the anticipation in everyone standing on the sand or sitting on the deck as they wait for this ball to sink below the horizon. This nightly ritual is fascinating. Sometimes the entire group breaks into applause!

Yet, when I return home, I care less about this orb. What is happening? The setting of the Sun is an event at the beach. People gather as if to worship this orb or, for sure, to celebrate its falling beneath the horizon. At home, I barely notice that it is gone. This is the same Sun, right? Why am I so complacent in my own yard? Or, truthfully, I am not in my yard. I am in my office, my kitchen, or my basement. This orb that I depend on for its day and night cycle passes without notice.

And it makes me wonder what else is passing without notice. How much of my day-to-day functioning deserves celebration and passes without notice? When my husband warms the car on cold days, how often do I say “thank you” or even notice the gesture? When my daughter brings a meal, so we do not have to cook, how frequently do I thank her and tell her how good it tasted or how grateful we are not to have to cook? When a friend calls to check in, do I say thank you or think I deserve the care? In truth, all these gestures are like the Sunset over the ocean. They are small miracles of love and care.

I want to celebrate those miracles just like the Sunset on the beach. I want to take time to notice them. Those that repeat with frequency need to be anticipated. Just like walking to the water’s edge in anticipation, I want to think about that “thank you” for warming the car. When I pause to review my day and notice the thoughtfulness, care, interest, and sacrifice of those around me, I want to celebrate all those gestures. I know that if I made a list of these things, pages of my pad would be filled. So many of them are simple gestures of care. My water glass is empty; you pick it up and fill it automatically. We entered the mall, and you opened the door for me. I never have to set my alarm because you wake me up carefully every morning. My granddaughter phones to invite me to play a board game. The neighbor brings the trash can up to the garage. This list is long. The Sun is shining.

Want to explore how sunset rituals foster emotional connection and mindfulness? Visit Spiritual Ark’s guide to sunset reflection, NeuroLaunch’s insights on sunset and mental health, and EyeFeather’s breakdown of sunset symbolism.

If you’re reflecting on gratitude, emotional connection, or daily rituals, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, healing, and relational growth.

The Comfort, Tradition, and History of Everyone’s Favorite Garment, the Pajamas

Pajamas are more than clothing: they’re comfort, ritual, and memory stitched together. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores why pajamas hold such a special place in our lives and how they’ve evolved across generations.

Is there any garment more comforting or relaxing than pajamas? Whether flannel, silk, cotton, fleece, taffeta, or waffle weave, there is a pajama for everyone. With the right sewing machine and a bit of know‑how, you might even make your own.

Oh, and I am talking pajamas, NOT nightgowns. Pajamas are a two‑piece set that includes pants, while nightgowns are typically a single, skirt‑like piece without legs. There is a big difference. Pajamas have legs.

There are so many memories associated with pajamas. One Christmas, all of the kids got matching pajamas. We probably ranged in age from three to eight or nine, and the matching pajamas were a big hit. We paused unwrapping gifts to go upstairs and change. Then we gathered for pictures in front of the fireplace and took a break for hot chocolate. Afterward, we returned to the tree for more unwrapping. I am sure we stayed in our pajamas all day. Sitting at the dinner table in pajamas was quite a treat.

Family traditions around pajamas continue in new ways. Take, for example, the surprise my husband gave our granddaughters. With his teasing nature, he would periodically regale them with tales of his beloved footy pajamas. Because they were supposedly secret, the girls could never see them. But one day, he orchestrated a dramatic reveal. Did you realize that footy pajamas actually come in grown‑up sizes? His were dark blue, covered with rockets and spacecraft. The pajamas were a real hit, ensuring the granddaughters will never again doubt Grandpa’s whimsical stories.

Times change, and so do pajama styles. This Christmas, the granddaughters, who are way beyond footy pajamas, received lovely silky pajamas with short shorts and strappy tops, perfect for the summer if it ever returns.

The tradition of family pajamas is not just personal—it is reflected in popular culture, too. Every year, the catalogs arrive with a lovely family on the front dressed in matching pajamas. I have fun wondering how many families actually end up wearing those sets. I imagine a family of twelve all dressed alike and ready for bed.

Beyond these traditions, pajamas have a fascinating origin. Their history dates back to the seventeenth century in Persia and India. They were originally loose‑fitting men’s pants worn during the day for comfort and to catch the breeze in a hot climate. Somehow, when they transitioned to Europe, they moved from the living room to the bedroom and replaced the nightgown. I am not sure why. Perhaps the stiffness of the English led to their being hidden away in the night.

Want to explore more about comfort, ritual, and emotional well‑being? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on how comfort shapes emotional health and Greater Good’s research on how family rituals support well‑being.

If this reflection inspires you to reconnect with comfort, tradition, or emotional grounding, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support resilience, balance, and well‑being.

The Magic, Mischief, and Memories That Arrive With Every Snow Flake

Snow has a way of stirring something deep and childlike in us. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores why winter storms spark such emotion—and why the memories linger long after the drifts melt.

About a week before heavy snow, weather people get excited and blanket the TV with predictions. I start planning a fire in the fireplace.

What is it about snow that seems to stir emotions? You do not see people getting hyped about rain, and sunshine is so common that we do not really celebrate it either. But snow seems to bring out the kid in all of us.

These flakes are icy cold, deceptively so, and startling against bare skin. You trudge along, swaddled in so many layers that movement feels impossible. Each garment sports a slick coating, sending you sliding, risking falls, and repeatedly grounding you. Then there are the boots, heavy as anvils, and your fingers trapped in mittens. Who invented mittens? Did they ever consider I might want to use a finger? To do so, you risk frostbite. No, thank you.

Still, I look forward to snow. Our weatherman measures snow depth with a giant yardstick. Guess the depth before he measures and win a prize. It is fun to guess.

You are always hoping for wet snow so you can build a snowman. If it is really good snow and just the right amount of wetness, you can even build a real igloo. Only once did our neighborhood get to experience this. After an unusually deep snowfall on a very cold Midwestern day, everyone pitched in, rolling big snowballs and shaping blocks until we had a real igloo in someone’s yard. Three kids could huddle in it at once. The memory stands out for how everyone worked together, not just for the rare weather.

Snowball fights are a blast and get you truly wet. Garbage can lids serve as shields, but neighbors dislike it when their lids end up scattered and unreturned. Sorting out whose lid is whose is always an issue. Oh well.

Remembering playing in the snow is almost as fun as doing it again. I do not miss the cold Midwest wind that cuts through you like a knife, or the deep snowdrifts that soak you head to toe, or the snowball fights that end in tears. I do miss holding the warm cup of hot chocolate my mother had ready in the kitchen.

Want to explore more about nostalgia, weather, and emotional well‑being? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on how weather affects emotions and Greater Good’s research on how shared experiences build connection.

If this reflection stirs memories or inspires you to reconnect with comfort, warmth, or emotional grounding this winter, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support resilience, balance, and well‑being.

The Warmth, the Weirdness, and the Science Behind a Simple Hug

It’s National Hugging Day! Touch is one of the oldest forms of communication we have. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores why hugging matters, when it doesn’t, and how connection through touch supports emotional well‑being.

Apparently, we have now designated a national day for just about anything you can think of.

My media guru has informed me that January 21 has been designated as National Hugging Day.

This sounds both warm and creepy. Let’s take them one at a time.

National Hugging Day, celebrated since 1986, was started by Kevin Zaborney as a gentle reminder to be more intentional about showing care and connection to the people in our lives. It’s often marked by organized hugging events that support charitable fundraising—always with respect for personal boundaries. The psychological benefits of hugging are frequently highlighted, especially its role in improving mental health.

Hugs are intended to be gestures of warmth and comfort. Our skin is the largest organ in our body and, as such, can be critical to both our physical and mental health. Being touched tenderly and compassionately can enhance our sense of well‑being and help us heal from physical pain. Touch facilitates healing by releasing the hormone oxytocin. With this release, our nervous system calms, our mood improves, and we naturally experience a sense of well‑being. Touch is important for our health.

Think for a moment of the experience of an infant. They tend to be touched frequently. That skin stimulation bathes the brain in positive hormones, contributing to health, attention, and connection with others. On the other end of the age range, touch for the elderly is equally important. Elders who are touched tend to be healthier and to live longer. So, hugging those who are important to you is a great idea.

Hugs can also cross the line into creepy. Remember the distant uncle who would not let go? Think of the stranger you have just met, going in for a hug, and how awkward that feels. We all have these invisible boundaries. We tend to travel in our own personal space bubbles. The bubble is somewhat egg‑shaped, with a shallower back and an extended front. We can be comfortable in a crowded elevator when everyone faces forward and respects our personal space at the back. But if someone turns to face you in a crowded space, there is an immediate flinch and withdrawal.

Being hugged by a stranger is not comfortable. Babies are great at discerning the safe people in a room. If you want clarity on the relative safety of your friends and family, pass a baby around. Babies are perfect at discerning the trustworthiness of adults. They will relax in the arms of one who can be trusted, fidget with the ones who are iffy, and start crying with the ones who are not safe. They are great barometers for trustworthiness.

So, find a friend. Give them a hug!

Want to explore more about the psychology of touch and connection? Visit Psychology Today’s insights on the power of healthy touch and Greater Good’s research on how touch shapes emotional well‑being.

If this reflection sparks thoughts about connection, boundaries, or emotional well‑being, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and healthy connection.

MY “SELF”

Innate Brilliance, Emotional Strategy, and the Journey Back to Connection

Your “Self” isn’t something you earn—it’s something you remember. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how our innate brilliance becomes obscured by emotional defenses, and how reconnecting with our true self restores clarity, courage, and connection.

Ok, I get it. You are used to seeing these two words together as Myself, meaning the person you are or how you function, think, and react. You have ownership of you. So, when these two words are separated, what does it mean? Is the “self” something that develops over time? Is the “self” innate and natural? Is the “self” an accumulation of experiences over time or a fully formed part of you from the very beginning?

I KNOW THE ANSWER!!
Infants come into the world with a brilliance that enables them to understand everything happening around them. This brilliance is an innate knowledge of how humans function. We call this brilliance the “Self.” You are born smart. You are not just smart; you are born brilliant. The design of a human is to be intuitively brilliant. Being a brilliant reader of the world around you is your survival mechanism, and this makes perfect sense. If you did not have brilliance, you would immediately be at risk and unlikely to survive. This brilliant “Self” stays with you forever. Think of it as a guiding light or a magical force that can send you signals to help you make good choices, take the right risks, and repair when you fall off track. However, the world around you can cause you to build defenses or obscure access to your brilliant self.

YOUR SELF IS BRILLIANT
This part of you provides guidance and protection. Your “Self” is always working for your benefit and can support you regardless of circumstances. As we go through life, we develop scars. We get hurt, hold onto those hurts, and develop strategies to avoid the same type of hurt in the future. These strategies that we generate for protection are rarely productive. Yet, they tend to become permanent ways of thinking or acting. These strategies are our solutions to problem-solving on an emotional level. For example, if a sibling teases us, we may develop a strategy of avoiding close relationships with others. Some of us fear that closeness will eventually lead to teasing or making fun of us. As a result, we are suspicious of others and reluctant to let ourselves get close to them. We may develop social skills that keep us distant or put us above others. In either one of these scenarios, we can avoid closeness. By avoiding closeness, we experience safety. However, we also end up being lonely. The part of us that works to protect us has also created a significant loss for us.

Understanding these different parts of our personality is essential. We were born connected to another person, and that connection was in a safe environment that nurtured and allowed us to grow. After birth, we want to find other safe environments to grow. Our fear of being injured can cut us off from these possibilities. Look at your ways of functioning in a social setting and be willing to seek help to learn how to open yourself to relationships and community.

You were born connected and deserve to continue to have loving, successful connections with others.

Want to explore how self-connection and emotional clarity shape personal growth? Visit Lifengoal’s guide to connecting with self, Psychology Today’s reflections on your true self, and Touchstone Psychology’s breakdown of self-connection and emotional awareness.

If you’re reflecting on identity, emotional resilience, or relational healing, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support insight, integration, and connection.

Connection, Puberty, and the Risk of Digital Companionship in AI Friends

Friendship is one of the deepest human needs. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how adolescence, technology, and artificial intelligence intersect—and why real connection matters more than ever.

Ok. That may be an oxymoron. AI is not human, though designed and programmed by humans. Friends are real people you can visit, touch, talk to, and argue with. However, if you are a teenager today, you may have more AI friends than human ones.

When we reach puberty, our brain chemistry changes, flooding our bodies with feelings, while our bodies undergo physical changes. Our bodies and brains become an authentic petri dish for the soul.

I remember a college friend describing her summer after starting menstruation. She said she lay in bed the entire summer and grew more than a foot. Her body underwent a metamorphosis, much like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. The difference being that she could not fly and struggled to own this new body. Puberty is not for the faint of heart.

While your body is betraying you and turning into this thing you do not recognize, your friendships are doing a 180 as well. The kids you played with on the swing sets and monkey bars are now holed up in their rooms, with phones and videos, and odd opportunities to check out content their parents would be appalled at. Close relationships are at risk. If you are fortunate, your childhood friends will remain near, and you may even go off to college together. If you are not, you will be stuck in a surreal world where you feel closer to a computer than to your neighbor.

Remember the movie Her. Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with an AI bot. Movies can sometimes tell stories about the future, and this is one of those. Today, people are falling in love with bots and deciding to marry them. The teenage son up in his bedroom could be falling in love with an imaginary being. The advantage of the imaginary being is that they may never disappoint you. Their program may be so responsive to your needs that you never experience rejection, your ideas are always valued, and your needs are validated.

Interacting with a machine could be nirvana. Then there is the 1968 movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, in which a supercomputer takes over a spacecraft and threatens the crew’s lives. I suppose all things are possible.

My preference would be to help our teens experience each other directly and in a variety of environments. That means leaving the phone behind and making eye contact. Nonverbal cues in communication are truly valuable. Facial expression, body posture, skin tone, gaze, tone of voice, and body movement are just a sampling of the nontextual cues that help us understand the person with whom we are communicating. Building relationships requires connection that goes far beyond the written word.

Want to explore more about teens, technology, and connection? Visit Psychology Today’s article on why teens turn to AI for friendship and Greater Good’s guide to helping teens build real connection.

If you’re reflecting on technology, adolescence, or emotional growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and authentic connection.

The Quiet Wonder, and Occasional Burden of Winter’s Most Delicate Creation: Snowflakes

Snowflakes look simple from a distance, but up close they reveal a world of complexity. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores the beauty, symbolism, and emotional resonance of winter’s most iconic creation.

Light, fluffy, and wet: that is what I expect when I step outside on a snowy day.

The snowflake is a marvel. They say no two snowflakes are alike. If that is true, then snowflakes are a miracle. A small drop of water and a small particle of dust come together in an intricate formation that is a wonder. The ice crystal is hexagonal, with six‑fold symmetry and complex features.

I think if you set out to construct these things, you could not do it, at least not in the quantity required to fill the field or the front yard.

As the snowflake falls, its structure changes. The flake passes through layers of temperature and moisture, altering its composition. You can think of the same thing happening to you. As you grow and pass through various relationships and life experiences, your makeup changes too. A snowflake can undergo several modifications before landing on your windshield or sidewalk.

The snowflake’s pattern appears symmetrical, as if the atmosphere were acting on it from all sides at once. This process involves a lot of movement. You can imagine something so light and delicate being whirled through the atmosphere and spinning at top speed as it falls toward the ground.

Snowflakes are pure ice but look white. The white is a play of light, so they appear white to us. I suppose otherwise they would be invisible, and that would be weird. As the flake falls, the atmosphere reshapes it as it spins toward Earth, where it will land.

Once at its destination, it will be a marvel or a curse. For those who can stay indoors and peer out the window at the white blanket on the ground, the buildings, the trees, and the shrubs, the view is a treat. For those who must brave the cold to uncover the car and clear a path to the street, the wet conditions are a burden and a pain. Shoveling this stuff is truly physically painful. Depending on the moisture content, this stuff can be really heavy and hard to move.

Yet the delight of seeing it fall, then of dressing in layers of puffy clothing to venture into its midst, is so satisfying. Nothing beats waking your children up at 4 a.m. when the snow has finally settled. The neighborhood is still and quiet, with just enough light to see clearly. The fluffy white stuff flies into the air as you march along the street, trailing the sled to the local hill for pure joy, speeding down the slope, and avoiding the ditch.

Being first on the hill in the still of the morning is pure joy.

If winter reflections stir thoughts about resilience, change, or emotional well‑being, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, balance, and personal growth.

Psychology, Music, and the Lifelong Work of Emotional Growth with Online Therapy

Healing is a lifelong journey. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this conversation explores how boys’ early emotional patterns shape adulthood, how therapy supports resilience, and how music can open doors to connection.

Good to see you,

What happens when the way we raise boys shapes the men they become, and in turn, the emotional lives of the families and communities around them? How do we create space for healing, reflection, and change across a lifetime?

This week, I joined the Jazz for Peace Legacy Series for a conversation that weaves together psychology, personal history, and the power of music to spark growth. We talked about early experiences, the emotional worlds of boys and men, and the lifelong work of understanding yourself with honesty and compassion. Rick also shared a beautiful musical medley inspired by a story from my childhood that reminded me how deeply music can open doors to connection.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How early emotional patterns shape boys and follow them into adulthood
• Why understanding your personal history is essential for healing
• Ways trauma shows up across the lifespan, often quietly
• How therapy can help rebuild confidence, communication, and relational safety
• The surprising power of art and music to support emotional growth

If you have been exploring your own story or wanting a deeper understanding of the patterns that shaped you, this conversation offers clarity, warmth, and a gentle path toward insight.

🎧 Tune In On Spotify: Online Therapy, Boys to Men, and the Path to Healing | Jazz for Peace Legacy Series

🎧 Tune In On Apple Podcasts: Online Therapy, Boys to Men, and the Path to Healing | Jazz for Peace Legacy Series

Want to explore more about boys’ emotional development and healing? Visit Psychology Today’s article on how trauma shapes emotional growth and Greater Good’s guide to how music supports emotional connection.

If you’re reflecting on personal history, trauma, or emotional growth, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support clarity, resilience, and connection.